Ever get brave enough to take yourself out at night alone?

[ImNotMyIllness]

I talked to my twin brother about this. He said I should go to a restaurant with a bar so I could eat facing just one or two people intsead of a whole roomful. He also said to take along a book and a cell phone so I could have something to distract myself and look like I am "busy" with my own life. Whether they are used in earnest or just props to get you through the meal, it helps. This way for myself at least I can be closer to people, even if I am not exactly interacting with them as much as I would hope.

If you're going out alone, you definitely want to keep yourself preoccupied. That's what everyone does. A book, ipad, or magazine are good ideas. I like to going out to a restaurant when I want to get caught up on reading.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Yes Ive done plenty of this and i can do it. I went to Las Vegas alone, karaoke in Manhattan and Queens plenty of times, Coyote Ugly. Ive been to Phoenix Arizona alone 3 times because I flew there. I used to take trips Upstate NY. Im fine but Im still a little socially limited. Alcohol can help a little but its still hard

 

[Xervello]

Technically yes. But not like you mean. I used to jog at night, ha ha. I think it was one of the first posts I ever wrote here. It was skurry! And funny. The stuff that goes through my mind, why they oughta make a movie out of it, they should.

I never go out like you mean. Though that's brave of your sis! I can relate to how she feels. As does most of us. Good on any of you for trying. It's such a brave thing for people like us to do. You have my respect!

 

[S_Spartan]

This thread has been really good for me to read because I've been thinking about forcing myself to go to this bar alone but something inside keeps stopping me. I think that inside I know how it will play out. I'll just sit there feeling stupid and then leave. I just don't see a bar as a very welcoming environment.
I may still work up the courage and do it anyway.

 

[TableFor1]

This thread has been really good for me to read because I've been thinking about forcing myself to go to this bar alone but something inside keeps stopping me. I think that inside I know how it will play out. I'll just sit there feeling stupid and then leave. I just don't see a bar as a very welcoming environment.
I may still work up the courage and do it anyway.

Hi Spartan, Do you play pool or darts? That's a good ice breaker. I too have been trying to get up the nerve to go down the road and put my quarters on the table. Im OK at both, but I just need to go :shyness:

 

[TableFor1]

Technically yes. But not like you mean. I used to jog at night, ha ha. I think it was one of the first posts I ever wrote here. It was skurry! And funny. The stuff that goes through my mind, why they oughta make a movie out of it, they should.

I never go out like you mean. Though that's brave of your sis! I can relate to how she feels. As does most of us. Good on any of you for trying. It's such a brave thing for people like us to do. You have my respect!

I will look for your post on "your skurry jog" haha.

 

[Subpop]

PRE-SA Me
I used to be a chauffeur/airport transfer driver and I would often go into a pub and have a shandy or one of those non-alcoholic beers then a coffee, sometimes a meal or a take-away. I was generally on a time limit so I never really tried to get talking to many girls except bar maids.

I think that because it was always in far away towns it was surprisingly comfortable and I always felt so confident. Makes me wonder if my SA would be existent on holiday.

I posted a similar question in the random thoughts thread a few weeks back. When I was travelling it was like my Avoidant Personality/SA traits were almost non existent. I am confident in this because I travelled for 4 months on 2 occassions. I would experience some anxiety but it seemed logical as I was in a different country surrounded by strangers and the anxiety didn't prevent me from striking up conversations etc with local people and other travellers. I have been thinking about this a lot lately...whether or not my SA and self confidence would benefit greatly from me taking my backpack and heading off for a few weeks on a shoestring budget.

I have been to see a couple of bands by myself, one last year and one about 16 years ago. I will often go and buy something to eat at a cafe and sit by myself and watch the world go by. I don't really feel that awkward or self conscious doing this. I don't think I could go to a bar though, although there is one about 800m from where I have very recently moved. I have this really bad stereotypical idea of a local bar that makes the though of entering one really confronting. Funny thing is I worked in a very popular bar for a few months many years ago before my SA took hold.

 

[S_Spartan]

Hi Spartan, Do you play pool or darts? That's a good ice breaker. I too have been trying to get up the nerve to go down the road and put my quarters on the table. Im OK at both, but I just need to go :shyness:

I enjoy pool very much. I just can't imagine myself playing it with strangers.

 

[Subpop]

London day trip sounds really interesting. Would be good if you could post your experience of the trip.

 

[TableFor1]

@S_Spartan... Im with you, ugh. I would have to drink a beer or two before I left the house.

@Winja... Since you said that, now you're going to have crazy fun. It's always when you least expect it.

 

[Barrier]

No, I never have gone to a bar or club on my own. I don't attract people, so I'd just be award in a corner till I go home. Also dinner in a restaurant on my own would feel awkward. I have done that once and I was glad there was a telly there to keep me occupied...

 

[Scrobes]

At university I tried to do this once. I got into the bar, looked around and left. I couldn't even get to the buying a drink part. Felt very relieved to be back outside. Freedom.

 

[Hellhound]

I went out at 10PM yesterday to buy some cookies at the cafeteria.

 

[FeartheGreat]

Hey at least she tried. That is all anyone can ask of you is to try. Congrats to her for taking a step in the right direction. Weather it helped in the long run or not, its still an accomplishment for people with SA.

 

[onehandclapping]

been thinking about how i'd like to try going out again sometime soon, but not really to the same places I went to when I was younger, just somewhere sort of social but sa friendly?... i'm struggling to think what that would be though.