Embarrassing thoughts cause me to blurt out things...

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

For some reason when I think about embarrassing things, I shout out random words. They can be things that have happened to me, but the funny thing is most of the time they are scenarios that I have though up in my head. They usually come when I am not doing anything and have time to daydream. I'll be day dreaming and I have a thought that reminds me of an embarrassing incident ( that actually happened or not). Most of the time it's a cuss. Sometimes I just grunt loudly or even hit or kick something. A few minutes ago I almost broke my computer from punching it.

This has been going on for years, but recently it's starting to get worse. Through the years I have been experiencing this, I have mostly been able to not do this while I around other people. But not anymore.
I do not think this is touretts syndrome. This happens ONLY when I think of embarrassing situations.


Has anyone experienced this? did you find a solution?

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

The thoughts I have are usual embarrassing thoughts about situations that almost everyone has been through. Tripping in front of a bunch of people, saying something stupid. That kind of thing. Like I said, these things can be something that has actually happened, or something I made up in my head. When this happens I usually blurt out a cuss. ''****!'' seems to be my favorite lately... Sometimes I'll blurt out an entire phrase like "'I hate My self'' or '' ****! I'm going to kill myself!'' ( even though I do not have suicidal tendencies).

I know I might not be explaining this well so I found a thread on another forum where the posters are having this same problem. they explain what happens better than i do.

Compelled to Blurt... - compulsion embarrassment blurt | Ask MetaFilter

 

[Foxface]

Nope. Not for me.

 

[Remus]

Is it like tourettes?

 

[Foxface]

Is it like tourettes?

You should watch the movie In Front Of The Class (2008). A Hallmark movie about a guy trying to get a teaching job with Tourrettes. It's awesome.

All Hallmark movies are awesome.

 

[Nathália]

I know what you mean, I do the exact same thing and " I want to kill myself is a phrase that I use in the mornings or I grunt really loud. This morning someone heard me grunt really loud, usually they don't, it was embarrassing. It has gotten better because when I was younger I would hit myself physically when I was alone.

I do not know what it is for sure, I thought it was related to OCD because it is like an urge I am trying to control, but I never really looked into it because it is nothing something I don't like to admit and I think this is the only time I have ever admitted to it. I only do it when I am alone and not around other people though.

How I got better was talking about my embarrassing issues with someone I could trust, like a therapist or a counselor. I still get event replays in my head and blurt out too.

 

[bcsr]

Ive done this plenty.. I'd be thinking of some previous event, and not always something embarrassing, usually it's an event that made me mad.

I'd randomly blurt out swears or just grunt/groan. When I was much younger and out of control, I would punch myself as hard as I could in the stomach/legs. I didn't even think of it as self mutilation at the time, since I wasn't cutting.

 

[Phoenixx]

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm the same way, except I don't really blurt anything out loud or kick/punch/hit things. Rather I repeatedly mumble under my breath, sometimes swearing or just saying "no," or let out a soft groan, or I'll start rapidly tapping my fingers. Whenever I think of past embarrassing situations I always do that, but sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it right away because I'm so caught up in thinking about said situations. I also tend to get a little sick panicky feeling when I think of them too.

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm the same way, except I don't really blurt anything out loud or kick/punch/hit things. Rather I repeatedly mumble under my breath, sometimes swearing or just saying "no," or let out a soft groan, or I'll start rapidly tapping my fingers. Whenever I think of past embarrassing situations I always do that, but sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it right away because I'm so caught up in thinking about said situations. I also tend to get a little sick panicky feeling when I think of them too.

YES! I get that feeling, too. It feels like its actually happening when I get these thoughts.

 

[JuiceB]

I have done that also. I think about stupid things I've did or other stuff that happened in the past and will occasionally blurt out something like "F*** ME" really loud.

 

[Phoenixx]

YES! I get that feeling, too. It feels like its actually happening when I get these thoughts.

^ Yep. Exactly. I wonder why we do this when we think of those situations. It's almost like a tic in a way. And I wonder why, when we do think of those situations, we think of them so strongly. Is it because it stands out to us more because we're easily hurt/affected by them?
Hm, something to ponder...

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

I think it's my brains way to snap me out of painful thoughts and memories. When I do it I instantly stop thinking about it. It feels like a huge release.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I have a similar issue although I don't really blurt anything out loud. I assume it's something OCD-related. Memories of embarrassing situations pop into my head at random and it really drives me nuts sometimes. It's usually something unimportant and not all that embarrassing anyway. Something minor and insignificant that most people would forget, but I beat myself up over it. I often think things like, "f my life," "kill me," or "I just wanna kill myself," even though I don't really mean it. And then I think, "no, I don't," or whatever. I'm not actually suicidal. It's more intrusive thoughts than suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I'll hit or punch myself, although not violently. Or I'll sort of mime-shoot myself. And then I get mad at myself for that too. Sometimes I kind of mumble things and I worry that I will blurt something out by accident one day. Sometimes I'll just randomly picture myself making some offensive comment to someone, something I'd never say intentionally, like calling someone fat. I'm paranoid something like that is just gonna slip out at random. Years ago I got in this real bad habit of thinking about a guy I liked whenever something I didn't want to think about came into my mind. Just his name would go through my head. That went on long afterward, even when I had boyfriend and I didn't like the guy anymore. I got really mad at myself. It was just such a habit at that point. Later, once my ex-boyfriend and I broke up and I found another crush, the same thing continued, only with someone new. I haven't seen the guy in ages and likely never will again, but I never got over him. Maybe I won't, until I meet someone else and the same crap starts all over again. I think his name whenever something unpleasant pops into my head. Plus, I just daydream about him anyway. I'll think, "I love him," or something and then I'm like, "no, I don't," and "dammit stop thinking about him!" I get so mad at myself and I end up having an argument inside my head. It's like I'm trying to counteract one intrusive thought with another. Only it never really works. I just end up thinking something I shouldn't anyway and it does nothing to prevent the embarrassing thoughts from coming back. Things that don't even matter will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.::

 

[pirana]

yeah i have so much crazy stuffs happening in my head

 

[MrSunday]

Your so like me. This happens to me too. I swear really loudly and it's very random. I find one way of coping with this. I accept the feelings of embarrassment and humiliation. It's like a burning feeling, but then I feel better.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Omg amazing lol! I thought I was unique in this. I have the exact same issue, except I don't kick or punch stuff. I just blurt out the first couple of words that I'm thinking of at the time (they're random). And like you said, it only happens in private, when I'm daydreaming.

Here's my theory: I think it's some kind of unconscious struggle with painful stinging memories. My words may be random, but my conscious is actually saying: "oh no, I really shouldn't have done that embarrassing thing". We still somehow try to prevent it from happening. It's so painful we desparately don't want to accept what happened.

Yeah, it's not always triggered by thoughts of things I've done, but sometimes painful memories of things that have happened to me. I guess I'm trying to block them from my mind by thinking of other things.