dutchguy
Well-known member
Dutchguy's Journal (or; a Battle Against Shyness)
Like many before me, I've decided to start a journal. Not that I think my everyday boring adventures are interesting enough for all of you to read, but it might be a good way to get some frustrations off my chest and perhaps some of my musings might even be helpful to others.
My journal is mainly going to be about my ill-fated 'quest' for finding a girlfriend. Over the years I've overcome my shyness to a degree where I can lead a largely satisfying life; I have a job and (since recently) an apartment, with which I've proven to myself that I can be a functioning adult. As the cliche goes, the only thing missing from my life is someone to love - and that's where I'm stuck.
You see, for all of my 25 years, I've never had a girlfriend. There were chances, but my crippling shyness ruined them all (and still does, now that I think about it). Recently I've been making a little progress - I even kissed for the first time last year (although that relationship went nowhere), but I'm definitely not 'ready' yet. For some reason, all the years of perceived rejection have made me afraid of women - especially the ones that I'm attracted to honestly scare me.
Anyway, after this introduction, onto the real journal part. Over the last month, due to my moving out of my parents house, my search for a girlfriend has taken a bit of a 'back seat'. However, now that I'm settled in a bit, I want to resume my search. First point of action is going back to some of the dating sites I've been a member of for ages. The strange thing is that I'm very attracted to some of the women on there, but I'm too scared of them to actually send a message. I never know what to write - the way it happens is that I write a big amount of text, then delete half of it because I don't think it's very good and in the end I just delete the message altogether.
I just had an idea; to make this journal effective, I'm going to give myself an assignment with every update. Today's assignment is to stop putting off messaging one particular girl on a dating site.
Like many before me, I've decided to start a journal. Not that I think my everyday boring adventures are interesting enough for all of you to read, but it might be a good way to get some frustrations off my chest and perhaps some of my musings might even be helpful to others.
My journal is mainly going to be about my ill-fated 'quest' for finding a girlfriend. Over the years I've overcome my shyness to a degree where I can lead a largely satisfying life; I have a job and (since recently) an apartment, with which I've proven to myself that I can be a functioning adult. As the cliche goes, the only thing missing from my life is someone to love - and that's where I'm stuck.
You see, for all of my 25 years, I've never had a girlfriend. There were chances, but my crippling shyness ruined them all (and still does, now that I think about it). Recently I've been making a little progress - I even kissed for the first time last year (although that relationship went nowhere), but I'm definitely not 'ready' yet. For some reason, all the years of perceived rejection have made me afraid of women - especially the ones that I'm attracted to honestly scare me.
Anyway, after this introduction, onto the real journal part. Over the last month, due to my moving out of my parents house, my search for a girlfriend has taken a bit of a 'back seat'. However, now that I'm settled in a bit, I want to resume my search. First point of action is going back to some of the dating sites I've been a member of for ages. The strange thing is that I'm very attracted to some of the women on there, but I'm too scared of them to actually send a message. I never know what to write - the way it happens is that I write a big amount of text, then delete half of it because I don't think it's very good and in the end I just delete the message altogether.
I just had an idea; to make this journal effective, I'm going to give myself an assignment with every update. Today's assignment is to stop putting off messaging one particular girl on a dating site.
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