Don't know how to act around people.

[kuhtreen]

It's funny...you'd think that it would be easy to "be yourself". Because it's just you....it should come naturally, and it shouldn't be something that you have to work at. But for people like us...why the f*ck is it so damn hard? I'm a bit upset right now. I'm so over this disorder. I want to be free.

 

[zootdroop]

That's my main problem, I can't be myself around people, I'm never comfortable around anyone, I'm always afraid I'll say or do something that they will misinterpret or just hate me for or think I'm a creep or something....I wish I knew why it was so damn hard...

 

[playthepsychedelic]

If social phobia is a part of our personality, and not being able to act natural is a part of social phobia, then not being able to be yourself around other people actually is a part of being yourself ...

 

[karut]

If social phobia is a part of our personality, and not being able to act natural is a part of social phobia, then not being able to be yourself around other people actually is a part of being yourself ...

Good reasoning. I was thinking almost the exact same thing today and realized that to change this problem, we have to change our personality. It may be who I am, but it's not who I want to be.

 

[chris87]

I always have so much trouble with this. Sometimes I'm not even sure what it means to "be myself." I'm so cautious of everything that I say and do.

 

[ArchBlue]

[snip]
Good reasoning. I was thinking almost the exact same thing today and realized that to change this problem, we have to change our personality. It may be who I am, but it's not who I want to be.

You're not a disorder though. Your fears don't make you who you are. People think irrationally when their fears come into play. You will end up making choices that you would never make if you were thinking straight. In other words, you are not being yourself, but letting your fears alter your perception.

If you are having a hard time figuring out what to say simply because of anxiety, then think about what you would do if you weren't afraid, and then do it.

 

[Walk]

If it's totally new people, I don't do well around them. It also depends on the kind of people. It takes time for me to open up to people, and if the people are alright, then I open up and become more relaxed, more talkative.

Maybe you don't see these people often enough or you're in a place where you don't go too often... or just maybe, you just don't like them.

 

[dottie]

wierd. you seem SO normal in your videos. (no offense)

 

[littl3misstrange]

I can honestly say no one has ever seen the "real" me, except maybe my dad & people online. When I'm out around people in public, I have my social phobia "mask" on, which is the total opposite of who I am on the inside. It's so frustrating...no matter how hard I try, I can't reveal the real me to anyone I meet in person. Maybe that's part of the reason why I have no friends, & I've never had a boyfriend at 18.

 

[qwerty103]

IMO it is hard because we experienced too much negative things in our lives which turned into a belief. We fear about a situation before it even happens. So let's say we're on the present moment, we try hard in order not to fail instead of trying hard to become successful. In other words we think about all the possible negative things or event that can happen instead of the possible positive. Why do we think this way? Our mind became like this because something happened.

 

[Snowdrop]

Just found this thread and am I glad I did because I can relate to EVERYTHING here. I mean everything. I thought I was the only one. I am so paranoid around everyone, I am constantly scared of offending people, of people thinking what I say is stupid. It's gotten to the point where now I hardly say anything. I'm going to a club tomorrow for somebody's birthday and I am going through everything that I could possibly say, what should I say, all these stupid questions. Thing is though, when I do forget all these stupid questions, everything backfires and I might start becoming impolite and not realizing it. It's like I've forgotten the rules of society because I've been so trapped in my own way of thinking. I know there's no logic in this but why is it so damn hard?

I have ALWAYS wondered who I am, since the age of 13. I'm glad other people are like this, not knowing who they really are either. Maybe I should accept the fact that social disorder is part of my personality. Maybe I should let go of the past me. But it's so difficult. It's high time I look beyond my fears, but it is so hard to do...

 

[EscapeArtist]

For me it's as simple as, thinking outloud, or without purpose, is not part of my personality. That is what speaking is..right? Also, I am so opinionated that it becomes too intense, so I choose rather to have 0 opinions on anything and in the end, that gives me nothing to talk about except the present moment. People don't really like talking about the present moment from what I see.... Unless it is pointing out other people..which is not fun. Wow I'm coming to a revelation (keeps editting) so that leaves me with the present moment... but still the strong opinions about my disgust with civilization/cities is in the back of my head nagging at me. And all I am left to focus on is that aspect in which I dread, the civilization around me, the present moment. The current environment. Which is almost never natural. Misanthropic. HM! So I end up both quiet and miserable. (Sorry for my ramblings)
Thanks for re-finding this snowdrop. There are some clever points in this one

 

[Dave1989]

I think the main problem is sp makes you question and forget who you really are. I find myself changing how i act from person to person just to get their approval and if im honest ive lost any sense of who i actually am as a result. I cant remember what i used to be like before sp became part of my life and thats the scary thing, an identity crisis of sorts.

 

[Snowdrop]

I think the main problem is sp makes you question and forget who you really are. I find myself changing how i act from person to person just to get their approval and if im honest ive lost any sense of who i actually am as a result. I cant remember what i used to be like before sp became part of my life and thats the scary thing, an identity crisis of sorts.

I can relate to this so well, I always wish I could be my 'past' self because she's so much more confident, happy and carefree. Except I can remember what I was like before, the only thing is when I look at old diaries that I've kept or something and read through them I cannot relate to them at all. I know who I was, but I'll be thinking "was this really me?"

 

[JamesSmith]

I'm so messed up, i don't even know what my real self is. I think my real self may never get to show his face, because my real self would have to be relaxed, and i have a habit since birth of being tense. Hopefully i can learn to relax. I am interested in seeing who the real me is.

 

[just wanna b normal]

awwww they say you cant be yourself if you dont know yourself. so you would have to find yourself. take time spending alone thinging about who you are as a person what are your likes dislikes need wants then you would know how to be yourself. thats what im doing right now but cant really tell you if its working.

 

[just wanna b normal]

You're not a disorder though. Your fears don't make you who you are. People think irrationally when their fears come into play. You will end up making choices that you would never make if you were thinking straight. In other words, you are not being yourself, but letting your fears alter your perception.

If you are having a hard time figuring out what to say simply because of anxiety, then think about what you would do if you weren't afraid, and then do it.

yeah your rite! social phobia means your scared to socialize so maybe if i stop being scared then i wouldnt have any trouble! same thing as shyness...yeah you might be rite! im going to try that! stop being scared!

 

[missjesss]

it's because we rlly dont know who we are therefore when we are out or around ppl we act the way we think wud be accepted bcoz out confidence is so low .. also ppl like us naturally have a shy temperament so it is fkn hard I even feel uncomfortable around my own family members at times

 

[Falkor]

I know what you mean. I don't know how to act around people too,
I'm nervous around people and get pretty much awkward around them.
I think we should really focus on how to act confident, so that we feel acting good around people, because we make ourselfes feel more uncomfortable.
By letting the anxiety feelings coming in, and make the anxiety visible to other people. We get more afraid of judging. So we just need to focus on a better body language we feel comfortable with. But I know that's hard, because anxiety kicks in so hard... But it is possible to get over it, but I also still need to work on that....

 

[Kiwong]

I'm scared to get to know people. I am so frightened that people will notice my anxiety and I will annoy them. Which does happen. In every conversation I am on guard, I never relax.