Does this mean I'm ugly?

SmileMore

Well-known member
There's a guy at work who's very loud and doesn't really care about offending people. He's always flirting with me and making vulgar comments so he's not exactly my favourite person.

I told him I had a sister and he asked to see what she looked like. I showed him a Facebook picture and he said "she looks like a model in that picture she can't be your sister". I said "oh thanks" and he said he didn't mean it like that. Another coworker who was there said I was just as pretty. I went to the toilets and cried.

Now I feel ugly. I'm already on antidepressants and am very self conscious as it is. I get compliments regularly about how pretty I am but all I can think now is that people are lying.
 
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IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
The short answer, no! There are no absolutes when it comes to beauty. Everyone has their own subjective criteria when it comes to how attractive they find others. He doesn't sound like the kind of person that you want finding you attractive. Some guys like thick girls with really big breasts, some like slender, fit girls with small breasts. Unless, you are like Mystic from X men, not everyone is going to find you attractive. I have had plenty of people tell me that I am handsome, smart, nice, etc, but since I don't think any of that is true, I always think they're lying. It's likely they're not but my inferiority complex is too strong. I am sure if you are getting compliments that you meet the requirements for your culture's particular standard of beauty. i.e. you probably have good facial symmetry, are in good shape, or whatever standards most "daisy villa" inhabitants find attractive. It's really such a shame that so many of us have all been duped into thinking we're worthless if we don't meet our societies unrealistic expectations for beauty.
 
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People who aren't good looking generally don't get compliments saying that they are. If it's a regular enough occurrence you can take solace in that the majority of them are genuine in their statements.

And while I know it's hard, considering much of society preaches the opposite, try not to put too much weight on looks and appearance. Cosmetic qualities serve very few actual functions in the day-to-day lives of most, and the more you entertain the notion that they actually matter to great extent, the more it will seem like they do.
 

greggy

Well-known member
Firstly just looked at your picture and you're lovely looking, secongly that guy in your work is a **** let him know he is.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
The guys obviously a loser. He's hoping he can lower your self esteem to the point where you may find him appealing. ****s demean the women they like, that's what makes them ****s.


SPW won't show J_e_r_k_ lol
 

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
There's a guy at work who's very loud and doesn't really care about offending people. He's always flirting with me and making vulgar comments so he's not exactly my favourite person.

I told him I had a sister and he asked to see what she looked like. I showed him a Facebook picture and he said "she looks like a model in that picture she can't be your sister". I said "oh thanks" and he said he didn't mean it like that. Another coworker who was there said I was just as pretty. I went to the toilets and cried.

Now I feel ugly. I'm already on antidepressants and am very self conscious as it is. I get compliments regularly about how pretty I am but all I can think now is that people are lying.

I think it may be possible that he may not have meant it to be insulting but he phrased it badly, personally I would have simply said "oh, she's very pretty" and left it at that, just my thought though.
 

Foxie913

Well-known member
I've never had a guy call me pretty. I've been called the opposite several times though :crying:
 

Gieky

Well-known member
I told him I had a sister and he asked to see what she looked like. I showed him a Facebook picture and he said "she looks like a model in that picture she can't be your sister". I said "oh thanks" and he said he didn't mean it like that. Another coworker who was there said I was just as pretty. I went to the toilets and cried.

Just curious, why did you give more importance to the negative thing that the guy said instead of the positive thing the other co-worker said?
 

Shepster

New member
Every person has a different taste and it doesn't mean it's good. The fact that he said your sister was beautiful to him doesn't mean you're worse. I'd say on the contrary. You're like a shining star :)
 

Nazim

Banned
It doesn't mean you are ugly but it means you are very receptive and sensitive which is not quite good.
You should liberate yourself from the opinions' of the people.
It is tough and even I still deal with it but you gotta do what you gotta do
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
Just curious, why did you give more importance to the negative thing that the guy said instead of the positive thing the other co-worker said?

I was thinking the same. The fact that something positive is okay and something negative isn't means you have very poor self-esteem and need that reassurance from others. It should come from you. You should be the one feeling good about yourself, enough to be able to take those comments with a grain of salt. If you're able to develop that self-esteem/acceptance, it can make the difference between going to the bathroom to cry, or being clever about it without the negative anchor behind it (or you could have just said "well, to be honest, you look like a human version of Homer Simpson, but yes, she is very pretty).
 
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