Does Style of Dress effect your confidence

[Diend]

I've noticed recently that throughout my youth up until now, I feel very uncomfortable, unconfident and socially avoidant when it comes to meeting people who dress trendy. It must have been conditioned in my head at an early stage of my life that having a trendy sense of style means you are economically more well-off, and believing that has made me avoid people who dress that way.

I've tried to solve that problem by dressing like them, but I know that it's not possible for me to afford that so I feel stuck. I know there must be another way to conquer this. Maybe it will take time (like me reaching a certain age before I believed it was socially acceptable to embarrass yourself in front of others, which was senior year of high school for me). I see that by the time you're 30, men tend to dress more modestly.

So do any of you guys have this "problem"?

 

[Blabla..]

Yes , it instantly makes me think that these people are more superficial and have a bigger tendency to judge others , i'm scared of being judged . I barely feel anxious around Old people , but "trendy" teenagers , forget it .

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I don't think I have confidence either way- no matter how I dress or how long I spend doing my hair and makeup.
I believe- before I go out, that dressing a certain way will help me to not panic as much' but I always do anyway and I always think I look horrible no matter what I look like in reality.

 

[Diend]

Yes , it instantly makes me think that these people are more superficial and have a bigger tendency to judge others , i'm scared of being judged . I barely feel anxious around Old people , but "trendy" teenagers , forget it .

Wow, what you said makes a lot of sense.

 

[UnderTheBoughs]

Yes. I have noticed that usually when I think I have dressed well, it does make a big difference to how I feel. More confident, happier and just a lot more comfortable with myself.
But usually I don't feel like I have dressed in a good or stylish way, so these instances are quite rare.

 

[Agent_Violet]

being stylish is how i express myself. this is such a great time for fashion! ANYTHING goes! if you've got a creative mind,which it seems many people here definitely do, you can make a fabulous outfit out of cheaper items.

for me, it's all about the accessories. you can look stylish and put together in a white t-shirt,jeans,and flats if you deck it out with the right necklaces,earrings,and bracelets.

being trendy is different from being stylish. Being trendy is for people who can't think of their own style and for people who can't put together their own personalized look so they take their tips from an abercrombie ad...those people scare me! lol

Being stylish is a whole different ballgame. And like I said, anything goes! if it makes YOU feel good..who cares how much it costs?? some of the cheapest outfits I put together end up being the ones that receive the most compliments.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I certainly feel a lot more confident when I dress up, but at the same time I feel insecure thinking that I might be overdressed or something. This is exactly why I always take like half an hour to an hour trying to figure out what to wear, especially in the summer with all that revealing clothing.

I don't think I have confidence either way- no matter how I dress or how long I spend doing my hair and makeup.
I believe- before I go out, that dressing a certain way will help me to not panic as much' but I always do anyway and I always think I look horrible no matter what I look like in reality.

^ Sounds a lot like me.

 

[Agent_Violet]

summer clothing blows. ugh feels so exposed! fall clothing is the best

 

[coyote]

Yes , it instantly makes me think that these people are more superficial and have a bigger tendency to judge others , i'm scared of being judged . I barely feel anxious around Old people , but "trendy" teenagers , forget it .

Wow, what you said makes a lot of sense.

but in this example, aren't YOU the one making the superficial judgement about THEM based simply on the way they're dressed?

i don't mean to pick on anyone - just pointing out the underlying irony of this whole "fear of judgement" issue that we have

are we really being judged?

or

are we the ones judging?

 

[Agent_Violet]

but in this example, aren't YOU the one making the superficial judgement about THEM based simply on the way they're dressed?

i don't mean to pick on anyone - just pointing out the underlying irony of this whole "fear of judgement" issue that we have

are we really being judged?

or

are we the ones judging?

i like your thoughts...they make me scratch my head and think hard

 

[Blabla..]

Yes coyote , it's me being superficial and imaginative based on my own way to see things.

I never mentioned that these people are superficial beings , i said that it's what i start to think instantly !

 

[coyote]

Yes coyote , it's me being superficial and imaginative based on my own way to see things.

I never mentioned that these people are superficial beings , i said that it's what i start to think instantly !

i wonder if we don't do the same thing in many other situations that cause us anxiety

and the world is really not as harsh and uninviting as we think it is

 

[EscapeArtist]

Yes , it instantly makes me think that these people are more superficial and have a bigger tendency to judge others , i'm scared of being judged . I barely feel anxious around Old people , but "trendy" teenagers , forget it .

Yeah, same.

 

[Blabla..]

We each perceive the world in our own way , colored by our own mind . The world is harsh if we perceive it harsh , some people could find what we find harsh as inviting.

In my case , my negativity and imagination does it all for me , i'm 100% sure everyone is staring at me and judging the features i myself do not like about my body. Its just my own creation , i'm playing my own game.

I judge myself all the time , negatively . I stare in the mirror and i just laugh . It's impossible for me to go out and not think that people do the same .

 

[Blabla..]

It always seems that its the fault of the external world , its the environment , the people , the situations .

It's all inside , we totally create our own world , can you imagine what kind of world this becomes when we don't have control over it.

 

[coyote]

We each perceive the world in our own way , colored by our own mind . The world is harsh if we perceive it harsh , some people could find what we find harsh as inviting.

In my case , my negativity and imagination does it all for me , i'm 100% sure everyone is staring at me and judging the features i myself do not like about my body. Its just my own creation , i'm playing my own game.

I judge myself all the time , negatively . I stare in the mirror and i just laugh . It's impossible for me to go out and not think that people do the same .

It always seems that its the fault of the external world , its the environment , the people , the situations .

It's all inside , we totally create our own world , can you imagine what kind of world this becomes when we don't have control over it.

I wish i could have phrased that better ,

i speak French.

i would say that you are slightly ahead of the game

it seems that many of us just assume that it really IS all external

and keep looking for ways to help us face the world that we're so afraid of

when, in reality, the fear is all in our own minds

so it's really ourselves we have to face

not the world

 

[mikebird]

Do yo mean our own dress, or others'?

Vanity is a big zero for me. I prefer a girl in trainers rather than stilettos. If I ever got married, I'd like her to wear dungarees.

 

[Lowlight]

This may sound weird, but in high school I dressed like a punk. I mean I had the Doc Martens, plaid pants, spiked belt, Misfits tee, leopard print vest, and day glow orange 12 inch mohawk. Boy did I stick out like a sore thumb! I always drew looks from people whenever I walked down the hall. I knew that everyone was looking at me and judging me, but I didn't care. Why? It was because I felt like I looked good in what I was wearing. I enjoyed how I looked.

Maybe more importantly I felt as if I was putting out a vibe that I was more dangerous than I really was. This kept the jocks off my back and kept the group of people I hung out with really small. In fact one girl (a class below mine) had seen me a few years before I talked to her. She said that I really made her nervous whenever we passed each other in the corridor.

Clothing is weird because it acts like a mask that people can wear to deceive others. You can use other people's judgmental nature to your advantage. Dress like an outcast and people will leave you alone. Well, that is true as long as you don't run into any other outcasts.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Clothing is weird because it acts like a mask that people can wear to deceive others. You can use other people's judgmental nature to your advantage. Dress like an outcast and people will leave you alone. Well, that is true as long as you don't run into any other outcasts.

Ohh~ In highschool, I really admired the hardcore punks!
I could never stick out like that, but I always wished I didn't care what people thought of me and I could do whatever I wanted, like they did.
I wore my sister's hand-me-downs; even with 3 jobs, I couldn't afford to buy myself new clothes so I had to dress pretty grungy since that was the style that was in when my sister was in school. (not at all when I was in school, though...)

Once, this girl had dyed her hair the most awesome purple I'd ever seen on a human being and when I told her that her hair was SO awesome, she scoffed at me and told me to **** off before she broke my face.
lol
Even that kind of made me like her.
I'm way too nice to go out of my way to have an image like that, but I could understand what you mean Lowlight. The way you dress can act as a barrier or a scare tactic if you want it to-- to keep people away.

It's all part of the act.
If you want to portray a specific 'type' of person, you can do it through your looks and attitude.

 

[Glitch]

Eh well I feel really uncomfortable around fashionable people because I think they're going to judge me by my clothes. I really have no sense of style, heh. I'm terrible at matching clothes and apparently dress young because I still get mistaken for being 16-19. Most of the time I give up on trying to dress better, I'll just throw on a band t-shirt and jeans, I'm not confident enough to wear anything different.