Does anyone feel their not taken seriously?

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I ask this question because my Mom for example when I was talking about the medicine Im taking because of these problems..said.."they pass out medication for normal feelings" (to circumstances, life changes etc.) I thought to myself if this is what it feels like to be normal, shoot me now lol.
There is nothing normal about this. She has said in the past when I have mentioned certain symptoms..well one time I felt that way or blah blah but just didnt take it seriously or let it go. Well when you truly have Social Phobia/AvPD...you can't just let it go..
It is something that you live day in and day out..yeah some days are better then others but you constantly feel like your struggling within.
I pose another question to whoever is reading this,
Is anyone lucky enough to have someone that tries to understand this problem and be there for you? I have one person I can talk to in my life who I feel has a mood disorder, he understands some of it because hes has similiar problems. My fiance' I feel saddened that he can't possibly understand my problems..and I really dont like bringing it up to him because it seems like he doesnt like to talk about such things..its very hard for him to understand because he's extemely extraverted and loves people around and it able to chat endlessly. We are opposites. Which poses another question, is anyone dating someone who is opposite them and can it really work?

 

[humansrare]

I know exactly how you feel, my mother is the same way! Anytime I tell her about my problems she mostly blows it off and says I'll get over it eventually. She even gets angry at me sometimes, so I just stopped talking to her about it.
You're right, this is a real struggle. It hurts when people demean it like that :/
I've dated people who are opposite, yeah. I think it could work in certain situations, for certain people...both my past relationships were doomed to fail because of how young the guys were. No teenage boy wants to work for a relationship. I hope your fiance is more mature and it works out for you.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Thank you. My fiance is actually older then me, he tries to be there for me in other ways..hes a great person, but when it comes to certain things its hard for him to truly listen, I think it hurts him to hear stuff and he can't really relate so it makes it that much harder, but at the same time it hurts me that he's going to be my partner in life and he can't understand or try too..maybe I give up too easily maybe I should talk about it more..especially when I feel anxious it would make me feel better to say "hey I feel anxious" or hey I dont feel right etc..Im kind of on the fence on if I should be the one to broach the subject more

 

[Hellhound]

My family has never taken me seriously, ever. They minimize everything, absolutely everything that is related to me. They even make jokes whenever I talk about anything, no matter how serious it is. I am some kind of clown to them... a joke. Other people might listen, but I know they don't care. Obviously, I don't bother to talk with them anymore and almost anyone else over here. My friends are the only ones who care and understand me, the only people I talk with.
I suppose your mate will understand you. Extrovert or not, if he truly loves you, he will understand. Also, if he has problems himself, he should understand how hard this is for you. I think you should talk with him about this, it might be helpful.

 

[Silvox Black]

Considering the environment you were raised and live in, I would certainly hazard to think you feel as though your words are not valued! Yes, I've experienced it as well. My parents are so far removed from me, I wonder how we are even related. Yet I notice a distrubing fact in all of this, and that is the fact that you and your fiance are opposite personality types. Now in my experience, unless the significant other has had some experience of his own with depression or a harrowing emotional turmoil, he will not be able to understand what you are going through. In my opinion, the relationship could still work, however chances are slim. If he is the sort of person that simply is not able to empathize with you, or attempts to provide comfort but only provides surface comfort, then I doubt things will turn out well. The couple would simply be too distant from each other for honest communication to be possible. This is not to say however, that opposites have attracted and not destroyed. It can happen, but only if your partner is intelligent and able to enough to cooperate and empathize.

 

[Noca]

No one takes me seriously. It gets really annoying.

 

[katie1919]

My family is the same way. When I talk to my mom about it, she tries to minimize the problem. She tells me it is normal to feel uncomfortable talking in front of people, that she used to be shy, bla bla bla... She does not take me serious and thinks its silly for me to want help. Honestly, I think she just doesn't want her daughter to be labeled with social anxiety disorder or have a "mental disorder". My parents have never seen counselors even when they needed to because of the stigma.

As for having a partner who understands, I am lucky enough to have a husband who understands me because he has some social anxiety too. In my past when I dated extroverted men, I had trouble with them understanding. One of my exes even frequently gave me a hard time about it. If I were you I would just be honest with your fiance about how you feel and what your going through. If he still acts like he does not want to talk to you about it ask him why. Maybe he is just not sure how to respond. If he continues to not make any effort to help you and show empathy, maybe he is not the man for you.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I really appreciate the insightful feed back..means a lot to me..just wanted to say that

 

[Tempus35]

I am never taken seriously in many regards, like when it comes to my issues. I am a known hypochondriac, so when something happens, and it is real, they blame that. It is quite annoying.

 

[dooby-duck]

I think a lot of it is because people dont know how to deal with it or what to say, so they tend to say what comes easily. It must be hard for them to understand that the kind of anxiety they feel when public speaking or whatever, is the kind of anxiety some of us feel when answering the phone or walking down the street.

 

[Shift]

My dad doesn't take me seriously at all. He thinks I don't talk to people because I am lazy. If only it were that simple.

My best friend is somewhat understanding. Sometimes he can be very sweet and supportive. But he's a really outgoing, social person and he can't understand me sometimes and he can be a real jerk about it. He does put up with a lot of crap from me though and I'm glad he cares about me.

 

[206Raider]

I feel like I am not taken seriously sometimes but I think it is due in large part because I laugh and joke around so much.

This. Moreso when I was younger, but I also agree people think I'm just lazy and shy and I will get over it soon. Hopefully I will but they don't know how I feel or what SA is.

 

[Kat]

The most annoying thing people do when they hear about sp is try to normalize it and minimize the problem. My fiance understands but he has moments of ignorance, we have been in some heated discussions about it before because he will say things like you don't have this, when I know I do.

I think people have a hard time differencing between normal anxiety like making a speech or doing something you’re not comfortable with for the first time and having it in situations you have to face regularly where most people don't even think twice about.

For most of us no matter how many times we face a situation we still get anxiety over it. People have a hard time grasping that even though I think my fiance has it on some levels I don't think it is the same as mine he even would go to a party amongst a bunch of strangers just to eat some food.

At least he tries though.

 

[Dronee]

In Asia, things like social anxiety, depression.. etc are less recognized. Where I am, I feel like it's not recognized at all. For a very, very long time or rather, until I came here, I didn't reflect that going to a barber shop for a haircut or ordering food and having your heart pump like a T-Rex is after you is not normal.

I've 'toughed it out' for years. That's why when I first came here, I say that I don't have SA, but relate to some of the things people with SA feel (anxiety especially)... then I thought about it and... hey... I have all those things. And it's not normal. Trying to tough it out can lead to a mental breakdown altogether if you don't know what you're up against.

 

[Juggalo]

My therapist is perfectly capable of listening and helping me deal with my problems. I can't ask for more from anyone else.

I wish I could say the same but I don't have access to any mental health services, being uninsured. I tried to get assistance but here in the awful Red State of Texas they horribly underfund mental health services like they do everything else. Texas is 50th in public spending on mental health. You pretty much have to be a paranoid schizophrenic or something that severe to get aid from the state.

 

[AngelSong]

I feel that people are more surprised that "HE ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING!" than what I have to say, so I try not to talk because I feel like my opinions are worthless, although 99% of the time they are more relevant and well thought out than the blubbering garbage people small-talk about nowadays

I know that feeling. I hate it how people do that, "LYK OMG IT SPEEKS!!1"
Then I say a big word like "perhaps" and everbody starts to laugh and everything else I said doesn't even matter.