Does anybody else have this strange problem?

[SmileMore]

Ever since i was a child i've found it hard to say certain words to people. It's not that i have trouble saying the actual word, i can speak fine, it's having to actually say certain words TO people.

For example, when i was a little girl, i HATED Christmas and Birthdays because i found it mortifying when i had to open my presents in front of people. I still have a fear of this now and i think it's because i'm afraid of people watching my reaction.

For some reason, i found it really hard to say "thank you" to people. I still don't know why. Maybe it's because i thought (think) i'm not saying it in the "right" way. I still struggle to say thank you. I can say "thanks" just fine, but "thank you" is a struggle.

There's also another word which is "you're welcome". If somebody thanks me for something i'll say "that's ok" (in a stupid quite voice) or "no problem", but i don't feel comfortable saying "you're welcome".

I've started making myself say "your welcome" at work instead of "that's ok" etc and it's starting to feel a bit easier. It's really weird because i'm not sure why i find those words uncomfortable to say. I think part of it is because when you say "you're welcome" your supposed to say it in a cheerful, happy tone and i don't want to say it "wrong".

Does anybody else have a similar problem like this or am i just weird?

 

[Blablabla]

No, it's not weird. I think it's an age thing. I'm 20 and I hate saying "thank you", "you're welcome" and the worst one of all, "God bless you" when someone sneezes. I say thanks, no prob, and bless you. In recent years some people have started saying gazunteit (?) instead of god bless you, but that just sounds corny.

 

[Facethefear]

There are many ways to respond to thank you:
1. no, thank you!
2. don't mention it.
3. it was nothing really.
4. my pleasure.
5. you owe me one.
6. not a problem.
7. I didn't give you this. You didn't see me. I wasn't here. Understand?

 

[Hellhound]

For example, when i was a little girl, i HATED Christmas and Birthdays because i found it mortifying when i had to open my presents in front of people. I still have a fear of this now and i think it's because i'm afraid of people watching my reaction.

Same. I never knew where to hide if I got a present. I can't even say "thanks". I have no problem saying it online, but I just can't do it in person. There's a lot of other words involving emotions I find really hard to say.

 

[megalon]

I have this same problem. I've spent some time (over)analyzing this and I think, for me at least, the problem is that I have trouble saying "you're welcome" because I subconsciously believe that I don't deserve the "thank you" that preceded it. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone, so why would they thank me for anything? I know it's irrational. One thing I have a lot more trouble with, as far as what words I feel comfortable saying to people, is calling people by their names.

 

[angelcat]

I think I use to be more obsessed about saying things the wrong way when I was younger, now I just don't care as much. I think it is a waste of energy to focus on it.

I still have that same feeling about people watching me. I hate when people are watching me and my reaction, probably because I am always watching others because I am a people watcher, but I do not want them looking at me.

 

[recluse]

with some people i am a mute, i just can't get myself to speak, no thoghts come to my mind and those that do i am afraid of saying.

 

[oscarwilde]

That sounds interesting.
It's very likely that you find the situation itself hard, not the word. Do you find it difficult to say 'thank you' even when it is out of context?
for ex.
- What happened next?
- She said thank you and then hung up.

 

[SmileMore]

That sounds interesting.
It's very likely that you find the situation itself hard, not the word. Do you find it difficult to say 'thank you' even when it is out of context?
for ex.
- What happened next?
- She said thank you and then hung up.

Not really. I can say the word it's just hard saying it to people.

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

I get you on the presents thing. It's one of the reasons I don't like people buying me things.

 

[LongShirt]

Here in Australia you'd sound like a weirdo saying 'you're welcome'. We just brush any good deed off with 'no worries'.

We also just say 'cheers' instead of 'thank you'. 'Thanks' is about as formal as it gets here!

 

[vitalis]

To the OP: would it be possible that you have this feeling because of a certain fear to feel "exposed"? Saying "thank you" and other social formulas of greetings may involve an amount of personal confidence that people with SA problems may have.

hat I mean is that for instance, when you accept (or give) a gift, you may unconsciously be afraid of receiving a positive response from the other and not the negative one we so "eagerly" anticipate, so if it is the case and we turn out to be wrong and everything goes better than expected, that kind of shyness-isolation shield we build ourselves may come undone and hence appears that strange feeling of not being able to attain to these social norms of greeting.

 

[SmileMore]

To the OP: would it be possible that you have this feeling because of a certain fear to feel "exposed"? Saying "thank you" and other social formulas of greetings may involve an amount of personal confidence that people with SA problems may have.

hat I mean is that for instance, when you accept (or give) a gift, you may unconsciously be afraid of receiving a positive response from the other and not the negative one we so "eagerly" anticipate, so if it is the case and we turn out to be wrong and everything goes better than expected, that kind of shyness-isolation shield we build ourselves may come undone and hence appears that strange feeling of not being able to attain to these social norms of greeting.

Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's just because i'm so used to feeling a certain way that when things actually go right it feels weird or something.

 

[Dreamer_Owl]

Yes, I have had this "taboo words" syndrome in the past. Words such as "Thank you" "Forgive me" and especcially "love" in any context, when i had to say these words i felt very uncomfortable.

 

[jaim38]

Ever since i was a child i've found it hard to say certain words to people. It's not that i have trouble saying the actual word, i can speak fine, it's having to actually say certain words TO people.

For some reason, i found it really hard to say "thank you" to people. I still don't know why. Maybe it's because i thought (think) i'm not saying it in the "right" way. I still struggle to say thank you. I can say "thanks" just fine, but "thank you" is a struggle.

There's also another word which is "you're welcome". If somebody thanks me for something i'll say "that's ok" (in a stupid quite voice) or "no problem", but i don't feel comfortable saying "you're welcome".

I've started making myself say "your welcome" at work instead of "that's ok" etc and it's starting to feel a bit easier. It's really weird because i'm not sure why i find those words uncomfortable to say. I think part of it is because when you say "you're welcome" your supposed to say it in a cheerful, happy tone and i don't want to say it "wrong".

Does anybody else have a similar problem like this or am i just weird?

Exactly for me too! I say "thanks" a lot, but find it very hard to say "thank you" verbally (but I can do just fine in email). I think I overuse the phrase "that's ok", even in convos that don't require its use. It's really weird -is it just me or is being polite becoming more taboo? My parents' generation as well as older generations are not afraid of acting out humility. They have no trouble smiling, saying thank you, and being very polite and humble overall. In contrast, my generation does not seem to value humility. Young people think it's embarassing to be humble. It's just not "cool". When I was in school, my classmates worship/like the class rebels who dare to make fun of the teacher. Even the "smart" kids in my class laugh along with the jokes. With the rise of the 2.0 generation and increased emphasis on the self, screaming out "me me me", it's no wonder we have trouble humbling ourselves to others.