Do you still want to have children?

[OceanMist]

No, I just don't see what the point is? It'd just be responsibility galore that would cancel out any enjoyment I could possibly get. I couldn't afford them anyway unless I married some rich woman, which I don't see happening either.

I just don't feel what those other guys feel. I've never really gotten any joy about thinking about raising a child. I don't see where the joy would be?

I know myself too. I wouldn't want the responsibility immediately. I'd hate it. I'm better off not having children.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I just don't feel what those other guys feel. I've never really gotten any joy about thinking about raising a child. I don't see where the joy would be?

I know myself too. I wouldn't want the responsibility immediately. I'd hate it. I'm better off not having children.

I feel the same way, and the more I think about it, the more I am bothered about it. Am I just that bitter that I cannot see the kind of joy and happiness children bring? This thread is interesting in that the major of people here don't want or have any children. Why is that?

I have one niece and while we have so much in common (sometimes it is like she is a mini clone of me) I have no real interest in her. In comparison, my sister dotes on her, and my niece is a great source of happiness for her. Sometimes I am envious of their bond. Like, why can't I be like that too? Why am I so easily annoyed? Is it that I just can't handle that type of closeness? Even when it comes to a child? I don't know, and I am probably making no sense at all. At least I like cats.

 

[MikeyC]

This thread is interesting in that the major of people here don't want or have any children. Why is that?

I have my own reasons for not wanting children, but rest assured I would need a major life change/epiphany before desiring kids.

I have one niece and while we have so much in common (sometimes it is like she is a mini clone of me) I have no real interest in her. In comparison, my sister dotes on her, and my niece is a great source of happiness for her. Sometimes I am envious of their bond. Like, why can't I be like that too?

It's just how it is. If my brother had a child, I might be the same. I would love my niece/nephew, but I might not have that closeness.

 

[SilentBird]

The rabbits are breeding like humans.

 

[xDreamseller]

Children come with too much responsibility and are far, far too time consuming and you can't decide to "get rid of it" later on. (Adoption is available, but if you get bored of it after 10 years, you're kinda stuck)

Parents spend so much time and money on children and if anything, parents seem to be less happy than other adults. Maybe I'm just selfish, but I like to have some sort of control over when I can relax and be alone.

 

[kilojoule]

I want children. I do get all broody now when Im around babies. I dont know if Ill ever get that chance though. I'm 27 now and Im only planning on starting college in sept so thats a minimum of 4 years and I hope to continue on to to do a post grad and hopefully further still. Then Im not financially stable and oh yea Id have to talk Smith into it HA! I cant even get him to admit were in a relationship (2years!!!) Then I dont even know if I can have kids eh so yea not looking like itll happen. .. But I would love to be a mother. Me and Smith were baby shopping for his sister who just had a baby last week and we had the most fun. But everywhere we went people thought we were the parents out shopping. It was weird.

 

[anuskas]

I might be in the minority even on this sometimes pessimistic site, but I don't want to have kids anymore. Yes, they're cute and just like to play, which is fun. I've enjoyed my nieces, and they me, but when they hit puberty they became aloof and self-absorbed.

This is something you can't say to your parents, but I fight resentment of the fact that I exist, even though I never particularly wanted to and wouldn't have signed-up for it in retrospect. I feel that if I had children, I'd be forcing them into something that I don't like being forced into myself. And the pros and cons of having kids seem stacked against it being worthwhile. Not enough jobs for willing workers, too much crime, increasing pollution, scarcer resources, the probability of the kids rebelling, going sideways, not finding contentment. On and on. Life seems to be getting more and more challenging.

I fear I'd hit the non-existence button if given the choice. Yeah, there'd be no more chance to experience positives in life, but there'd be no more negatives either. So it seems almost hypocritical of me to have kids. (Yes, in the rare times I'm dating, I'm honest with them about it if the issue comes up. I can tell by the looks on their faces that they don't feel the same way I do.)

I've got friends who privately admit to me they wish they'd never had kids. Too much stress, frustration, and heartache. Far from what they'd hoped for. I've read advice columns with similar admissions from parents. Yes, for others it's been a joy. I get that. I'm not really a people person in general, though. I'm so-so even on my family, which I get along with all right. I just want to be alone most of the time.

You can always volunteer at schools, daycare, and enjoy your nephews, nieces, neighbors, etc to get your fix. The great thing with that is, they don't follow you home. LOL But it also seems that, particularly with women, it seems innate to want to reproduce (sorry if that sounds too clinical).

There's adoption as an option, too. For others, that is. I've soured even on that, and I feel a little guilty about that.

And some have children to get love or have company. Woah. Terrible reason for having them.

Your thoughts?

Yes, I agree. They are particularly women who want to reproduce but not all. Like you I want to be alone most of the time so I think a child is not a good idea...

 

[kihira]

BABIES - Official Trailer [HD] - YouTube

 

[xDreamseller]

Their crying hurts my ears so so much. Also, I find pregnant woman extremely funny to look at. It looks so unnatural to me, I can't help but laugh when I see one.

 

[N0D]

I never did want children so the question is irrelevant...

 

[nightcrawler]

What really annoys me is the reaction you get when you tell people that you don't want children. They (usually) act all surprised and go "why not?" as if you're not normal or something

 

[MikeyC]

What really annoys me is the reaction you get when you tell people that you don't want children. They (usually) act all surprised and go "why not?" as if you're not normal or something

Yeah, totally. I can't ever tell my mum I'm not having kids. She'll probably cry.

 

[SilentBird]

Their crying hurts my ears so so much. Also, I find pregnant woman extremely funny to look at. It looks so unnatural to me, I can't help but laugh when I see one.

Ha ha.

Children are alright, for about five minutes.

 

[SilentBird]

There needs to be more people in the world like us.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Just now, I read this thread title as: "Do you want to have my children?"

...not sure if it's dyslexia, fatigue or stupidity on my part.

 

[SilentBird]

Just now, I read this thread title as: "Do you want to have my children?"

...not sure if it's dyslexia, fatigue or stupidity on my part.

... fatigue. Mum needs a rest.

 

[Charmed]

I never want to have kids. I decided this when i was like 12.

 

[persianfan247]

I had the fantasy of a woman to love and having children, but there are somemany things wrong with me and one of the biggest things is that despite any fantasy I don't think I can care about a other human being at least on a emotional level. Intellectually I care about other people, i.e treat other people as you wished to be treated, but emotionally I can't. I do not even seem capable of caring about my who parents are really great and have social anxiety as well, so I have alot in common.

However this poses problems for any relationship or for having children and on top of all this I do not know whether I would want or could handle the responsibility of having children so I continuously change between thinking maybe or definintely not for both a relationship or children.

 

[montejocarlo]

I might be in the minority even on this sometimes pessimistic site, but I don't want to have kids anymore. Yes, they're cute and just like to play, which is fun. I've enjoyed my nieces, and they me, but when they hit puberty they became aloof and self-absorbed.

This is something you can't say to your parents, but I fight resentment of the fact that I exist, even though I never particularly wanted to and wouldn't have signed-up for it in retrospect. I feel that if I had children, I'd be forcing them into something that I don't like being forced into myself. And the pros and cons of having kids seem stacked against it being worthwhile. Not enough jobs for willing workers, too much crime, increasing pollution, scarcer resources, the probability of the kids rebelling, going sideways, not finding contentment. On and on. Life seems to be getting more and more challenging.

I fear I'd hit the non-existence button if given the choice. Yeah, there'd be no more chance to experience positives in life, but there'd be no more negatives either. So it seems almost hypocritical of me to have kids. (Yes, in the rare times I'm dating, I'm honest with them about it if the issue comes up. I can tell by the looks on their faces that they don't feel the same way I do.)

I've got friends who privately admit to me they wish they'd never had kids. Too much stress, frustration, and heartache. Far from what they'd hoped for. I've read advice columns with similar admissions from parents. Yes, for others it's been a joy. I get that. I'm not really a people person in general, though. I'm so-so even on my family, which I get along with all right. I just want to be alone most of the time.

You can always volunteer at schools, daycare, and enjoy your nephews, nieces, neighbors, etc to get your fix. The great thing with that is, they don't follow you home. LOL But it also seems that, particularly with women, it seems innate to want to reproduce (sorry if that sounds too clinical).

There's adoption as an option, too. For others, that is. I've soured even on that, and I feel a little guilty about that.

And some have children to get love or have company. Woah. Terrible reason for having them.

Your thoughts?

wow... if every person has the same sentiment, humanity wouldn't be needing to wait for doomsday to get extinct. the earth would probably be better off then. humans have corrupted this planet way too much already.

but even without us, life would continue through other life forms. a new species of animal might come along. and they could carry much negativity than mankind.

we don't decide how life goes or proliferates. and we most certainly can't suppress it by refusing to reproduce. just because a person has no children, doesn't mean he/she is helping diminish pain in the world. one good parent can bring about more positive change by raising a well-balanced child than 10 people without offspring who have so much resentment toward their own existence.

if i am not to have a child, it wouldn't be for that reason.

and i feel sorry for the children whose parents regret having them. repentace is the first step to a messed up parenthood. they might not blurt it out to their kids, but the fact that they want to undo them means they don't love their children enough. and it always shows.

 

[uncle]

I have two children. Needless to say I love them more than anything. I had them late in life after being a "confirmed bathelor". It is because of them that I have a social life through their activities such as scouting and school. They may not be the deep personal friendships I had in my younger days but there better than nothing. Or what I would have had, had I stayed single and spent my time drinking in pubs.

My wife my partner is far from perfect as am I. But she is great with the kids as far as getting them ready for school and reading and helping with homework.

But its a huge gamble, my sister has a teenage son who is just like me. Started doing drugs at 13 and getting into trouble. Both of us have extreamly low self esteem, me because I had a learning disablity, was not so good looking and was not good at sports. My nephew got into a serious accident and lost vision in one eye, missed a lot of school and has a very short temper. He ended up stabbing some kid and almost killing him. He is now in jail at 16 year of age. He is supposed to be doing great but I'll believe it when I see it.

Are there times I wish I had less to deal with? Or more for myself such as time to travel and and go out to eat when I pleased ? Absolutly yes...But....I could not imagin life without my kids. We will do everything we can to help them in their development as responsible people. Whatever we have to sacrfise is worth it. I'm praying they do not get my OCD or if they do its to a minor degree.