EscapeArtist
Well-known member
??????????????????
or how you developed it
or how you developed it
Do you know why you have SA?
- Thread starter EscapeArtist
- Start date
I think it has something to do with what happened to me in 1st grade during lunch. I barely remember things that happened last month but for some reason I still remember this day. I had a female friend, forgot her name but we always hung out and sat next to each other during lunch. She goes "do you want to know who I "like"? I replied "yeah, sure" she proceeds to name some boy in our class and then asked who I did I like. I said "you" and she goes "ew" and I think I been f*cked up ever since. lol
but I think that is what originally triggered my shyness, social anxiety is something that eventually developed out of that in my 20s (I'm 24 now)
but I think that is what originally triggered my shyness, social anxiety is something that eventually developed out of that in my 20s (I'm 24 now)
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WearyChild
Well-known member
I think a series of events triggered it but I think the main thing that contributed to my anxiety was not living life. Even after I got my anxiety I went to a therapist and she convinced me to go back to school, first week was hell would leave the class and come back unpack and repack my bag like 50 times before class started but I forced myself for that first week and then I made a friend (someone who needed help in math.. I'm a math whiz 
) After that I was basically anxiety free until the semester ended summer started and I was back to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore and at that point I didn't have my therapist anymore so I didn't know how to start again by myself. But I truly believe if I were in school or had a job now I would be better then I am which is completely messed up because I can't go do either of those things because I'm afraid of making the initial decision. Honestly I wish someone would come make my life decisions for me, I would do what they said.
) After that I was basically anxiety free until the semester ended summer started and I was back to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore and at that point I didn't have my therapist anymore so I didn't know how to start again by myself. But I truly believe if I were in school or had a job now I would be better then I am which is completely messed up because I can't go do either of those things because I'm afraid of making the initial decision. Honestly I wish someone would come make my life decisions for me, I would do what they said.
hangbi92
Well-known member
Im a shy boy since I was born. While other kids played together, I was alone.
However only when in high school that I realized my shyness became serious. I started to have the feeling that everyone was looking at me all the time.
And not until recently did I know I have SAD. I always thought I was a freak that no one is like
However only when in high school that I realized my shyness became serious. I started to have the feeling that everyone was looking at me all the time.
And not until recently did I know I have SAD. I always thought I was a freak that no one is like
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I understand that nobody knows. I'm curious to people guessing, if they dare to guess.
Tempus35
1
Genetics, Susceptibility to stress. Nurture based in shyness. Nature and events that triggered those factors. In the end I can guess tons, but my thoughts are that I have a type of genetic mutation that makes stress affect me more, this combined with the way I was raised, not badly, but no one in my family is outgoing, caused chemical changes, and structure changes in the brain, the last said because mine came about when I was enter puberty which is when the brain is trimming itself, improving itself.
philly2bits
Well-known member
I'm not too concerned with the reasons for it. I'm more concerned with getting over it. Knowing the cause may help for some in understanding and eventually get a handle on it, but I don't believe this is the case for me.
butterflydreams
Active member
bad self-image
Falkor
1
That's exactly like me!!
As a kid, I was bullied heaps, especially in primary school. Also, my sister used to pay me out (in a sisterly way) but it always got to me. Around yr 4 (when my family and I moved and I had to start a new school) I had bad posture, glasses and two plaits my mom made me wear so I felt like a freak and acted, REALLY awkward. And also just isolated incidents of doing something stupid that have stuck with me. So yeah, just a combination of all these things.
numb embryonic
Active member
Reasons, in no particular order....
a) Wasn't bullied much as a kid, but was bullied as a teen young adult; was like a shock to the system.
b) Was told I was ugly for years in teems and early 20s. Flatmates turned on me and said "nobody likes, or wants you to live here you because you like a stunted ugly ****" - nice.
c) At university was being denied p/t student jobs that others got easily
d) Was bullied at work, always the one singled out, ignored or laughed at. It felt like it was the strong picking on the weak, and I was seen as the weak. Very primordial behavior from people, and i started to develop the thought "do I look weak, or not respectable or something?". I was no different to anybody else, I wasn't a slow worker, inept or anything. Must of solely been visual reasons.
e) Online, several women I've met have stopped contact without good reason other than it happened soon after I sent them some pics of me. I developed an even poorer self image on top of already poor self image after events like this.
f) I'm emotionally and socially "stunted" from years of being a recluse (nearly a decade now)
g) I was always avoided socially, particularly induction days at colleges. People just didn't bother starting a friendly conversation with me.
h) No girl has ever approached me or shown signs of romantic interest in me, making me feel lesser to other guys. Often having to endure other guys stories of girls flirting with them only stipulates this feeling.
i) I never fought back at my tormentors, I just ignored them. A lot of aggression and regret bottled up.
a) Wasn't bullied much as a kid, but was bullied as a teen young adult; was like a shock to the system.
b) Was told I was ugly for years in teems and early 20s. Flatmates turned on me and said "nobody likes, or wants you to live here you because you like a stunted ugly ****" - nice.
c) At university was being denied p/t student jobs that others got easily
d) Was bullied at work, always the one singled out, ignored or laughed at. It felt like it was the strong picking on the weak, and I was seen as the weak. Very primordial behavior from people, and i started to develop the thought "do I look weak, or not respectable or something?". I was no different to anybody else, I wasn't a slow worker, inept or anything. Must of solely been visual reasons.
e) Online, several women I've met have stopped contact without good reason other than it happened soon after I sent them some pics of me. I developed an even poorer self image on top of already poor self image after events like this.
f) I'm emotionally and socially "stunted" from years of being a recluse (nearly a decade now)
g) I was always avoided socially, particularly induction days at colleges. People just didn't bother starting a friendly conversation with me.
h) No girl has ever approached me or shown signs of romantic interest in me, making me feel lesser to other guys. Often having to endure other guys stories of girls flirting with them only stipulates this feeling.
i) I never fought back at my tormentors, I just ignored them. A lot of aggression and regret bottled up.
Dronee
1
Just out of curiousity, if you don't mind sharing. Are you the youngest, oldest or in between?
Shift
Well-known member
I've always been quiet, and I think being labeled as "shy" really influenced my behavior. People just expect me to be shy and whenever I do speak, people always have to comment on it (things like "Wow! She can talk! or "It was weird hearing you talk in class today" or "That's the first time I've heard you speak" etc.) and it makes me really uncomfortable and nervous, so I stop talking.
Also, when I was growing up, my dad was in the military so we moved around a lot. I had friends when I was really little, but after I moved a few times, I just gave up on trying to make friends because I knew I would just end up having to leave them anyway. And so I never really learned how to socialize and I have no social skills.
Also, when I was growing up, my dad was in the military so we moved around a lot. I had friends when I was really little, but after I moved a few times, I just gave up on trying to make friends because I knew I would just end up having to leave them anyway. And so I never really learned how to socialize and I have no social skills.
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
This is an interesting question... you weren't exactly asking me but, I wonder if this makes a difference? I was always called the "forgotten child" because I am the middle child who was overlooked