hangbi92
Well-known member
)When i was a kid, I even helped my friends fight against bullies. Now that I think about it again, that was probably the best period of my life. I was a happy kid and had some good friends. But now... like hell
Do you know why you have SA?
- Thread starter EscapeArtist
- Start date
)When i was a kid, I even helped my friends fight against bullies. Now that I think about it again, that was probably the best period of my life. I was a happy kid and had some good friends. But now... like hell
Dronee
1
Position in family affects family dynamics. I'm pretty sure of it. That was why I was curious. What were your experiences like btw? If you don't mind sharing...
recluse
Well-known member
1) As a kid i was shy and much quieter than my peers/friends in primary school, i was ridiculed a lot for being quiet (practically a mute) it didn't help that i have a slight speech impedement (inabilty to pronounce certain letters)
2) My shyness beame more apparent when i got to secondary school, a lot of mean kids there. I got anorexia at 14 but got counselling and cured it, then my parents went through marriage problems in my final year.
3) After secondary school i went to college and i was so lonely and isolated more than ever, a lot of mean people there. At this period i got a bout of acne and greasey skin which got me more depressed.
4) Got my first job in a factory, was there for a year and half treated like crap by many. Then more jobs.
2) My shyness beame more apparent when i got to secondary school, a lot of mean kids there. I got anorexia at 14 but got counselling and cured it, then my parents went through marriage problems in my final year.
3) After secondary school i went to college and i was so lonely and isolated more than ever, a lot of mean people there. At this period i got a bout of acne and greasey skin which got me more depressed.
4) Got my first job in a factory, was there for a year and half treated like crap by many. Then more jobs.
Dronee
1
*respect* Factory work, or at least the ones I've tried, are pretty tough.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Many little things i guess. I suppose it started when I was really little, I was quiet. Came out of the womb sleeping. Apparently even as a baby I didn't cry, so I was neglected by my parents. I remember my sisters playing with eachother, climbing on eachother and such and I would watch, jealous of their attention to eachother but too timid. Family is my major contributing factor. My father paid us no attention and my mother had no idea how to comfort, because she had SA as well. To this day when I cry infront of my mother about anything, she spits insults at me and then walks away nervously. "Oh now you're going to ****ing have a mental break down?" -leaves-
I remember being picked on constantly by my family until around age 14. I remember so many insults, as my sisters got older they learned to insult me too. Insulting me was an every-day thing that the family literally bonded over.
I craved my parents attention, so I got it through school. I was apparently a genius kid in elementary, making airplane models alone and doing tons of extra credit because I had no friends. Suddenly I was getting less attention because I could do well alone in school. Apart from this, my parents started seeing me as their golden genius child, I was going to go 'so far'. So when I started slacking off, I received a ton of attention.
I guess this brings me to the person I am today, sitting at home missing school, and too scared to go.. just ruining my life with the craving for a parental figure >;[
I remember being picked on constantly by my family until around age 14. I remember so many insults, as my sisters got older they learned to insult me too. Insulting me was an every-day thing that the family literally bonded over.
I craved my parents attention, so I got it through school. I was apparently a genius kid in elementary, making airplane models alone and doing tons of extra credit because I had no friends. Suddenly I was getting less attention because I could do well alone in school. Apart from this, my parents started seeing me as their golden genius child, I was going to go 'so far'. So when I started slacking off, I received a ton of attention.
I guess this brings me to the person I am today, sitting at home missing school, and too scared to go.. just ruining my life with the craving for a parental figure >;[
Masychefx2
Banned
yes indeed .
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
So I guess the trend here is ridicule and exclusion, topped off with further isolation?
Da Kid
1
Amen to that bro
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I am very tempted to delete that post >_<
Masychefx2
Banned
mine came from being brought up in total seclusion never leaving the house and living in an isolated area with no socialising with anyone but family
uncle
Active member
I think mine started around 5th grade. I had/have adhd and by that time I fell behind the other kids and was never able to catch up. My Father used to say to me "You can do it, your just lazy" which of corse was not true. But it was the beginning of the end for me. I never developed social skills. I was the type of quite person who could be in the room and not be noticed.
When I hit 13 years old I started doing drugs and the self medication made me feel a little better about myself. But after wasting a lot of time and money and my health on drugs I quit. Now my SA returned along with depression and of corse the adhd is still with me.
When I hit 13 years old I started doing drugs and the self medication made me feel a little better about myself. But after wasting a lot of time and money and my health on drugs I quit. Now my SA returned along with depression and of corse the adhd is still with me.
recluse
Well-known member
I live in a semi isolated area i.e There are a lot of houses here but it's rural and there's not much going on.
Yes unlike some others here I know exactly how and when I got it. 2 and a half years ago, been a bumpy ride since then.
Sure i do. Bullies!
I was always quiet to begin with but had always had friends through school when i was little and was happy.
All throughout my school years i would always get comments from people and then one year in highschool i just couldnt take the bullying anymore and just left and let them win. When i did leave i think my bullies felt guilty. It sucks they still live near me now.
I was always quiet to begin with but had always had friends through school when i was little and was happy.
All throughout my school years i would always get comments from people and then one year in highschool i just couldnt take the bullying anymore and just left and let them win. When i did leave i think my bullies felt guilty. It sucks they still live near me now.
BlueDays
1
Yep! that's it in a nutshell for me! What will puzzle me until I die is WHY?
Why was I the one picked on? Why was I excluded? What did I do wrong? Was it the way I looked? Was it the way I dressed? Was it the way I acted when asked a question? Was is the way I behaved? Was it because I had no sister/brother at the school? Was it because I had no father? What is the way I talked or didn't talk? Was it the way I dressed? Was it because I was too timid? Was it because my quietness was mistaken for stupidity? Was it because I did not have a clue how to stand up for myself? Was it something I said? Was it something I did in the beginning?
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
Luthien
Well-known member
Sometimes I feel a bit guilty, I didn't have a seriously traumatic childhood... it was actually pretty nice. I know the reasons that I have an anxiety disorder, and mostly it's because I am extremely sensitive and have been excessively self analytical since I was very young.
I also grew up isolated, only around my parents and my sister. My father was very loving and playful until I was about six, when he started getting into computers and totally stepped out of our lives mentally and emotionally. I think it was harder having him there in that state than just being gone. Around the same time, my older sister (who was also my best and only friend) started to decide she was too cool for me and started berating me and ignoring me. The loss of two out of the three only people in my life, whom I loved dearly, made me think I had done something to cause it and I have gone through the rest of my life trying to be whatever will make people like me. This is totally at war with my nature, which is to be loud and weird and outgoing. Feeling the pressure to be a "good girl", wanting to take care of everyone around me and also wanting to scream my head off and tell everyone where to put it has caused me bottle up.
When I broke down, I cut myself off from other people because I can't control my instant responses to their presence. When I'm around other people, my mind is saying, "did I say something stupid? Will she like this music? If she doesn't like it, it must be bad. Do they like me? Are they making fun of me?" and the list goes on. Where as these thoughts used to go completely unnoticed, now they cause panic attacks, even though I still rarely notice I'm thinking them in the moment.
I think this is my body's way of telling me to get my sh*t together and figure out how to stop caring so much what others think of me. Which is a lot harder than it sounds.
I also grew up isolated, only around my parents and my sister. My father was very loving and playful until I was about six, when he started getting into computers and totally stepped out of our lives mentally and emotionally. I think it was harder having him there in that state than just being gone. Around the same time, my older sister (who was also my best and only friend) started to decide she was too cool for me and started berating me and ignoring me. The loss of two out of the three only people in my life, whom I loved dearly, made me think I had done something to cause it and I have gone through the rest of my life trying to be whatever will make people like me. This is totally at war with my nature, which is to be loud and weird and outgoing. Feeling the pressure to be a "good girl", wanting to take care of everyone around me and also wanting to scream my head off and tell everyone where to put it has caused me bottle up.
When I broke down, I cut myself off from other people because I can't control my instant responses to their presence. When I'm around other people, my mind is saying, "did I say something stupid? Will she like this music? If she doesn't like it, it must be bad. Do they like me? Are they making fun of me?" and the list goes on. Where as these thoughts used to go completely unnoticed, now they cause panic attacks, even though I still rarely notice I'm thinking them in the moment.
I think this is my body's way of telling me to get my sh*t together and figure out how to stop caring so much what others think of me. Which is a lot harder than it sounds.
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Stuckwithme
Well-known member
I was a bad ass in school, was respected, had a lot of friends a nice and loving family and everything. The SA is so contradictory with me. I have always been very outgoing and social, yet very shy.
But my major triggers I believe is hyperhidrosis and blushing. Take those two factors away and I wouldn't have any social anxiety. So basically in my case it is very easy to diagnose. It made me insecure. I hate showing signs of weakness.
All people are born shy though. It's a natural defence mechanism so children won't trust any moron out there. Most of us grow out of it, but some never really do.
It's so ****ed up. The hyperhidrosis can be treated quite effectivly with botox but the blushing there is nothing to do about it. The doctors dont ****ing care. It's a major, major issue which they know nothing about.
But my major triggers I believe is hyperhidrosis and blushing. Take those two factors away and I wouldn't have any social anxiety. So basically in my case it is very easy to diagnose. It made me insecure. I hate showing signs of weakness.
All people are born shy though. It's a natural defence mechanism so children won't trust any moron out there. Most of us grow out of it, but some never really do.
It's so ****ed up. The hyperhidrosis can be treated quite effectivly with botox but the blushing there is nothing to do about it. The doctors dont ****ing care. It's a major, major issue which they know nothing about.
Its complicated to answer. I knew before but now I am sure that I have damage in my brain, that is causing me multiple troubles not just SA, Sa is just one of my aspects. In my childhood I had a very close girlfriend she was very sexually driven we had pretend to be sex but we never get to real thing. Her parents split up and I have never seen her again. Since then I had a trouble making relationships with girls. At school I was not very popular and often bullied and teased and betrayed. I really hate remembering school years. At university I have two close friends. With one I want to be friends in future because we share same interests and life philosophy. Other one is crazy and about have mental breakdown I want to screw him of but he still thinks I am his best friend even tough I hate him in reality. I think my SA is more on women than men.