Do you have friends?

[FOR REAL]

 

[Luke1993]

lol that's rik mayall, a true legend!

 

[FOR REAL]

lol that's rik mayall, a true legend!

aye, haha, DROP DEAD FRED has to be the best lonely film ever, it always makes me laugh

 

[Lorraine Manca]

i have two "friends". they appear randomly to spend time with me during their single periods when they aint got no one to date. flattering, huh?

one of them shows up, and i think, so you got dumped again?

 

[Phobologist]

I have no friends, two acquaintances, and a casual girl-friend (at least I did for a few weeks, who knows now). I have no other contacts but I am able to meet people on the street easily now.

 

[Phobologist]

This post raises more questions for me. Specifically, are any of you afraid of actually making friends for fear that they'll discover how lonely you really are?

I know this is a definite fear of mine, especially since I'm a college junior. It's suspicious and awkward that someone with 3 years of college under his/her belt hasn't developed even a small group of actual friends that he/she knows and trusts well.

And when an old highschool friend of mine came back, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Of all people, this person would be the most embarrassing to admit that I had no one, really.

Yesss!!!! I know exactly what you are talking about. Even when you might be capable of making friends given your other anxieties, the fear that they will discover you are friendless and "a loser" is so overwhelming that you become terrified around them. You may avoid them alltogether or behave anxiously in their presence. I had this problem in college. I was the only senior on a dorm full of freshman and a few sophtmores. All the people I knew had graduated so I didnt even have any acquaintaces left and no party network by then. I was extremely uncomfortable and they kids gave me a nickname which made fun of my age. I was realy anxious around them and tended to act weird and do strange things I wouldnt normaly do. Nevertheless, although a few of them thought I was realy weird and didn't like me, most of them actualy liked me as a person, they just weren't comfortable hanging out because of the age difference and my behavior.

Nowadays if I had to do it over I would just come clean and tell them the truth. I had a lot of acquaintances in the past who graduated, but very few friends during my college stay because of my anxiety. They are going to figure it out one way or another, best to just come clean and let them see Im not a total freak - just a guy with a neuro-cognitive problem that prevents him from living his life.

 

[Deathinmusic]

I chose "I have acquaintances, but no friends". I guess I could say I have a friend or two but just the fact that in my current situation I cannot act in a way a friend does, I can't call those people friends or myself a friend of theirs. I feel that these relationships could be real friendships if I was capable myself.

What I mean by acting like a friend is opening up and sharing my feelings and experiences with them. Even just initiating contact with them seems impossible to me (to ask them to hang out or go out together etc) other than chatting online. The fact that I even have some people that I could have contact with but don't, while some others here don't even have that chance makes me feel like even a bigger coward and a loser...

Edit: Just to specify, these are all people I have known for over 10 years.

 

[Phobologist]

I chose "I have acquaintances, but no friends". I guess I could say I have a friend or two but just the fact that in my current situation I cannot act in a way a friend does, I can't call those people friends or myself a friend of theirs. I feel that these relationships could be real friendships if I was capable myself.

What I mean by acting like a friend is opening up and sharing my feelings and experiences with them. Even just initiating contact with them seems impossible to me (to ask them to hang out or go out together etc) other than chatting online. The fact that I even have some people that I could have contact with but don't, while some others here don't even have that chance makes me feel like even a bigger coward and a loser...

Edit: Just to specify, these are all people I have known for over 10 years.

Im glad you have somebody around to hang out with. I agree with you about friendship, you have to be able to open up to them. You are not a coward or a loser because you can't make friends with these acquaintances yet. You have a neurologicaly based, cognitive disorder. If certain areas of their brains were highly overactive and they had the misfortune of being traumatized, then they too would have GSAD.

 

[Phil_i]

This post raises more questions for me. Specifically, are any of you afraid of actually making friends for fear that they'll discover how lonely you really are?

I know this is a definite fear of mine, especially since I'm a college junior. It's suspicious and awkward that someone with 3 years of college under his/her belt hasn't developed even a small group of actual friends that he/she knows and trusts well.

And when an old highschool friend of mine came back, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Of all people, this person would be the most embarrassing to admit that I had no one, really.

Ahh that is so exactly how I feel. I've been at uni for 2/3 and its like my main concern now (on top of normal anxiety) is not letting anyone realize that i have no close friends. Its definitely not helping me meet new people and I'm embarrassed to have my friends from home come up to see me... The worst thing is that I had to live with strangers again this year and will probably have to next year :/

 

[Shift]

I have 2 really good friends and one best friend. That's it.

There's some people at school who are nice and I'd like to be friends with, but I don't talk to them much unless my 2 good friends are around.

 

[BlueDays]

None. Used to have 2 best friends a long time ago. Don't loose touch with your best friends people, you will regret it for the rest of your life.....

 

[NickyNacker]

I have one bestfriend that I'm really really really close with. She's like a sister to me. But I haven't seen her since August and I miss her a whole lot. I have two other bestfriends and I hardly see them either because they're busy and actually have lives unlike me lol

 

[Shift]

None. Used to have 2 best friends a long time ago. Don't loose touch with your best friends people, you will regret it for the rest of your life.....

I'm starting to lose mine... and it's my fault because I can't talk to his friends and it makes him uncomfortable and then I know he's embarrassed by me and now I can't talk to him either.

 

[melissahp]

like I've mentioned in other posts I am super good at blending in! I made it my number one most important goal and I did not too bad. I exposed myself as much as possible and met tonnes of ppl. I only keep the nice ones around, ones who are good ppl, the rest I use just like they use other ppl.

I call those ppl who I hate but am nice to my aquaintences... like they say keep enemies closer! its funny that in order to be "normal" you gotta play these games, I never did before, you gotta be sneaky ... learned that

Proof that exposure works I suppose!!

 

[PhantomPod]

I have acquaintances, but no friends.

 

[Mikey]

Currently I only have one offline friend, and I only see her like a week or two out of the year because she lives in another state.

 

[Noca]

I got 1 best friend, 1 gf, 1 real life friend, many online friends, and a few acquaintances.

 

[Falkor]

I do have friends,but i don't see them really much.
I want to change that. But almost every day I feel like.. 'No, let's wait till another day..'' -_-

 

[PrettyBoy]

friends maybe overrated

 

[CPA23]

I have always found it very difficult to trust people. I usually think that if I become friends with this person that he/she will do something to hurt or embarrass me. I don't know why I think this I just do. As a result, I usually keep people at arm's length and I always keep my guard up. This is just a poor way of protecting myself b/c I feel so alone. I am getting better though at beginning to let go and have people get to know me. I realize that I have a long way to go, but I have always made a lot of improvement.