dottie
Well-known member
growing up i feel like my mom would always single me out and degrade me. she didn't treat me very well. it basically taught me resentment, mistrust, and HATE. i feel like such a hateful person. logically thinking, that is not the kind of person i want to be, but when i find myself in a social environment it is sadly my first nature. i don't want to deal with people or bother interacting with them and i come off as cold and arrogant (which is probably true).
all of this social anxiety i feel stems from the fact that i hate people. anxiety arises because i have to conform and pretend like i am a good sport when, in fact, i don't want to be around anyone at all (especially in the morning). i have to put on a happy face (which i am just terrible at), look willing to help, and come across as approachable when i do not want to be approached at all. this makes for huge anxiety. i feel like i was raised to be a bitter, hateful, repellent person who has to be submerged in social interaction which makes me miserable.
all of this social anxiety i feel stems from the fact that i hate people. anxiety arises because i have to conform and pretend like i am a good sport when, in fact, i don't want to be around anyone at all (especially in the morning). i have to put on a happy face (which i am just terrible at), look willing to help, and come across as approachable when i do not want to be approached at all. this makes for huge anxiety. i feel like i was raised to be a bitter, hateful, repellent person who has to be submerged in social interaction which makes me miserable.