Do you feel trapped when lots of visitors come to your house?

[superario]

So, apparently tomorrow morning we're going to have quite a few people over.

My brother, my sis-in-law and my nephew. They come over all the time and I'm looking forward to THAT but my cousin (who was living on base across the country) just came back to California and are here until they move to the new place (another base up north). Anyway she's coming which is nice cuz I haven't seen her since January (when I stayed with them for 2 wks) and her kids (like 4 and 6) are coming too and quite possibly my aunt too, who I do hope comes cuz she's my favorite aunt. And I don't know about my cousin's husband but maybe him too.

But that's a lot of people...and kids too. My nephew is not even 2 years old. But the other kids, I was with for 2 weeks and I love them but I don't know...it seems like chaos, especially since our living room is TINY. I don't want the kids in my room and just getting into my things. It's just it feels like everyone is coming over and I don't like it because it'll feel like a party...

I don't mind when one or two people come, for instance when my nephew comes it's absolutely fine but I cannot stand parties at our place (well, it's too small for parties, haha) because I feel like my house is my safe zone and I feel trapped and claustrophobic and like I can't escape.

Now that I think of it the kids might be getting into the pool (yay!) and I'll probably go with them but still. I feel overwhelmed by all the people coming over. :|

I don't know how long they'll stay. My nephew usually comes over anywhere between 1-3 hrs but I don't know about the others. What if it's all day? How can I go seek peace and quiet in my room like the introvert I am without having a child follow me?!


And now I'm afraid that if I'm in the pool with them, something might happen. I don't wanna be in charge of them, I don't know if they can swim. It scares me. I'm not good with kids.

::

 

[IGotSeoul]

If the interior area is small, you could always spend time outside in a more open environment. I get really uncomfortable in closed crowded areas too. I'll usually sit outside or occupy myself in the largest room. Might be over-thinking things a little. Most times everything will work out fairly smoothly; it's not as if people who can't swim will be throwing themselves into the deep end of the pool (I hope).

I visit my father sometimes and he has like 8 children + relatives that stay over occasionally. I try to make it pretty clear that I'm not going to be responsible for the children and I'll hang with 2-3 people at a time. Hardly see me in the center of a crowded area during those types of events.

 

[HeadFace]

So, apparently tomorrow morning we're going to have quite a few people over.

My brother, my sis-in-law and my nephew. They come over all the time and I'm looking forward to THAT but my cousin (who was living on base across the country) just came back to California and are here until they move to the new place (another base up north). Anyway she's coming which is nice cuz I haven't seen her since January (when I stayed with them for 2 wks) and her kids (like 4 and 6) are coming too and quite possibly my aunt too, who I do hope comes cuz she's my favorite aunt. And I don't know about my cousin's husband but maybe him too.

But that's a lot of people...and kids too. My nephew is not even 2 years old. But the other kids, I was with for 2 weeks and I love them but I don't know...it seems like chaos, especially since our living room is TINY. I don't want the kids in my room and just getting into my things. It's just it feels like everyone is coming over and I don't like it because it'll feel like a party...

I don't mind when one or two people come, for instance when my nephew comes it's absolutely fine but I cannot stand parties at our place (well, it's too small for parties, haha) because I feel like my house is my safe zone and I feel trapped and claustrophobic and like I can't escape.

Now that I think of it the kids might be getting into the pool (yay!) and I'll probably go with them but still. I feel overwhelmed by all the people coming over. :|

I don't know how long they'll stay. My nephew usually comes over anywhere between 1-3 hrs but I don't know about the others. What if it's all day? How can I go seek peace and quiet in my room like the introvert I am without having a child follow me?!


And now I'm afraid that if I'm in the pool with them, something might happen. I don't wanna be in charge of them, I don't know if they can swim. It scares me. I'm not good with kids.

::

Do your parents/family usually put you in charge of the kids? I'm sure they'll give you a break Maybe you should just hang around the kids outside your room for a while, and after an hour or so just... Retreat to your room?

I don't exactly feel trapped when people come over. It's just mostly that I hate everyone who my parents invite over. So when my uncle or whatever comes over, I mostly just say hello, and then stay in my room until everyone's gone.
They're all usually busy with each other to care if I'm there or not anyway. And I don't think thats a bad thing at all!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I don't exactly feel trapped when people come over. It's just mostly that I hate everyone who my parents invite over. So when my uncle or whatever comes over, I mostly just say hello, and then stay in my room until everyone's gone. They're all usually busy with each other to care if I'm there or not anyway. And I don't think thats a bad thing at all!

I do the same exact thing. Depends on who comes over though. If its my favorite aunt I'll stay out with her and actually talk since she had SA at one point and she understands what I'm going through but if its my other family (which I hate for very good reasons) I'll hide in the bathroom and pretend I'm taking a long shower or I'll tell my mom to tell them that I'm at a friend's house when I'm actually hiding in my room next to my bed, playing some Nintendo DS where they can't see me ::

 

[HeadFace]

I do the same exact thing. Depends on who comes over though. If its my favorite aunt I'll stay out with her and actually talk since she had SA at one point and she understands what I'm going through but if its my other family (which I hate for very good reasons) I'll hide in the bathroom and pretend I'm taking a long shower or I'll tell my mom to tell them that I'm at a friend's house when I'm actually hiding in my room next to my bed, playing some Nintendo DS where they can't see me ::

Yeah exactly. If it's my cousins then I stay out, if otherwise, I just stay in my room, and listen to music or play video games or something.
The only flaw is that my room usually lacks food...

 

[bigcat1967]

Ouch. I remember those days living at home w/ my parents and they would have people over that I really never knew. Let's just say that my bedroom was my fortress.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

At least you people can go to your bedroom. In the miserably small house where I live, my bedroom is at the same time the living room and the dinner room. So when relatives come to visit I had to sit and listen them talking with my parents about a bunch of people who I don't know and I don't care for. When this annoys me the most is when there is a race I want to watch on TV but you gotta put the volume very low so you don't interrupt your visitor's conversation.

 

[_Hope]

I always hid away in my room for as long as possible to avoid any contact with anyone who was visiting. Just being able to hear them when I was in my bedroom caused my anxiety to sky rocket and sometimes I'd shake with fear...

I found the best way to help get past it was to jump in at the deep end and just go down and see if my fears were warranted. You will find more often than not your fears were not worth the worry and avoidance they cause/caused you.

 

[nothingtofear]

I don't feel trapped per se but as long as they're not here to see me specifically I'll usually only leave the room to go to the bathroom or to leave the house... sometimes if I want to eat I'll wait until people go before I use the kitchen even when I'm really hungry. _Hope is right about the fears often not being worth the worry and avoidance they cause. These days it seems the negative impact of SAD on my life comes more from how I learned to cope with it by avoidance than by how I actually feel interacting with people. While thinking about doing things and just before doing things I get very apprehensive (and often choose not to) but when I actually just go for it, it's usually not that bad.