Do you feel like you hurt people with your SA

N

Nack

Banned
I feel like I hurt people, for example my classmates. They always look at me and i feel they want to say something. But I don't turn my head to them, although i can see them from the corner of my eyes.

This happens with girls also, I see them staring at me and when we passed each other through the hallways, sometimes I gaze at them and sometime I just walk by quickly. I feel like they think I have something against them or something, that usually ends up with me sitting alone in the class room.

I love this life... :|
 
TheStatue

TheStatue

Well-known member
Yes. There are people who have tried to be nice to me and be friends. But I'm just too paranoid to accept that anyone could realistically like me, so I end up avoiding them in the end. I'm sure some of them have been hurt by this.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
I know for a fact that I have. I've been told by people that I'm cold, stuck up, disrespectful, and an all around bastard simply because I didn't say "Hi" like I was supposed to passing in the hallways or compulsively looking away when someone looks at me and smiles.
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
I've been told that I come across as very arrogant, so I feel like people think I look down on them, which is hurtful. So yes, I feel like I do hurt people. I don't realize what I'm doing to seem arrogant, either, heh. I feel that if I come across as anything, it's incredibly unsure and anxious.
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
Oh, and I hurt my family and friends because I don't keep in touch with them as much as I should. I've lost so many of my very close friends because I moved and am too afraid to call them or to waste their time by sending them emails. :roll:
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
Sometimes my quiet demeanor makes others think that I'm not having a good time, I'm always pissed or I'm a bitch of some sort. All things people have said about me to my friends. That's never fun to hear, I have this uncanny knack for tearing people to shreds emotionally. I've made girls bawl like babies, some guys too. I don't understand how it's easy for me to do that when I know how it feels but I've since worked on all of this.


Not to say that if a person treats me bad, I won't tear them a new one.
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
You people don't hurt anyone. I think others should be more understanding and stop assuming the worse about all of you. Their lack of understanding hurt you instead. Or that's what it seems...
 
Pink_Paula

Pink_Paula

Well-known member
I know i have hurt people, not intentionally but with how i am, i can push people away and seem closed off when all i really want is a hug and for someone to tell me it will be ok, but i never seem to be able to let my walls down fully to let someone close enough to do that.
 
E

Emily_G

Well-known member
Yes, I've pretended like I haven't noticed people before. I don't know if they know I do it intentionally or not. I also don't go to a lot of social events...which I"m sure makes some people sad.
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
Hellhound said:
You people don't hurt anyone. I think others should be more understanding and stop assuming the worse about all of you. Their lack of understanding hurt you instead. Or that's what it seems...
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Regardless of whether we mean to or not, sometimes our standoffish-ness, regardless of whether it's warranted or if it was because of our anxiety or whatever, can still hurt people. Just because we're hurting too doesn't make someone else's pain less valid. (Not to sound argumentative, but other people have feelings too! I've been told that I hurt someone's feelings because I was afraid to talk to them--they thought that I hated them. Just because I was anxious doesn't mean she was any less hurt!)
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
I know that i lost one of my closest friends when i was young because of my SA. I think i should have explained it to her better, so that was my fault!
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Elenwen said:
Regardless of whether we mean to or not, sometimes our standoffish-ness, regardless of whether it's warranted or if it was because of our anxiety or whatever, can still hurt people. Just because we're hurting too doesn't make someone else's pain less valid. (Not to sound argumentative, but other people have feelings too! I've been told that I hurt someone's feelings because I was afraid to talk to them--they thought that I hated them. Just because I was anxious doesn't mean she was any less hurt!)
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Of course it doesn't make their pain less valid... but do they know how you feel? If those people you mention are friends of yours or relatives, have you tried telling them about this? I know it's not easy, but maybe that way they won't take it personal and think you don't like them... i don't know :c
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
^Once I found out that I hurt her I apologized and explained as well as I could, and all was okay, but I still had hurt her, if only for a little while. And I'm sure I've hurt strangers, though since I never see them again there's no real chance to apologize and all.

As for telling my friends and family about my SA, I've tried to explain it to my dad but he doesn't really get it. Everyone else pretty much puts it down to the fact that I'm awful at keeping in touch, they don't know that I feel like throwing up every time I see a comment or email from them that I have to respond to.

I'm sorry for jumping to the attack (or defense, I'm not really sure which!) in that last post, it just sounded a bit like you were saying that it was silly to think that we hurt others, when it's really not. No one likes to think that someone hates them for no reason!
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Elenwen said:
^Once I found out that I hurt her I apologized and explained as well as I could, and all was okay, but I still had hurt her, if only for a little while. And I'm sure I've hurt strangers, though since I never see them again there's no real chance to apologize and all.

As for telling my friends and family about my SA, I've tried to explain it to my dad but he doesn't really get it. Everyone else pretty much puts it down to the fact that I'm awful at keeping in touch, they don't know that I feel like throwing up every time I see a comment or email from them that I have to respond to.

I'm sorry for jumping to the attack (or defense, I'm not really sure which!) in that last post, it just sounded a bit like you were saying that it was silly to think that we hurt others, when it's really not. No one likes to think that someone hates them for no reason!
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I apologize if my post sounded like I was minimizing anyone's feelings... that wasn't the intention at all. Sometimes I just fail at expressing myself D:

What I meant with my post was that some people don't understand these problems much and they tend to assume, sometimes they take it personal or they blame the other person as if it were our fault that we are how we are, and that lack of understanding make us feel hurt and guilty. But I am sure no one here hurts anyone, none of this is anyone's fault. People around us should try to be more understanding. Before assuming that you don't like them or something they should try talking with you, ask if there's something wrong, if you are alright, etc. before jumping to conclusions.

It's good that you talked with that person. I'm sure she won't hold it against you. Maybe yes, she felt hurt before... but you explained what's going on, you were sorry, I suppose everything will be okay... there's no need to feel guilty or beat yourself up over it :'3
 
N

Nack

Banned
Hellhound said:
You people don't hurt anyone. I think others should be more understanding and stop assuming the worse about all of you. Their lack of understanding hurt you instead. Or that's what it seems...
Click to expand...

That's what make SA so bad, your not sure if they're mad at you or not. Its a psychological thing, I guess when i see people ignoring me. I assume the worst, and react coldly upon that idea.
 
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