I do. like there maybe be a couple people in a social setting I'm comfortable talking to then shut down when it comes to other people. It makes me feel bad coming off as rude because of my SA when I barely say anything to people. I get self-conscious about what I say to others and don't want to come off as being anything negative or weird. I try to be a positive person despite my SA
do you ever feel rude around others because of SA?
- Thread starter CrazyGirl
- Start date
Iluv
Well-known member
I know how you feel. I know that sometimes I may across as ignoring them and they may perceive that as being rude but it's hard to explain it to them that I do have SA. So I just don't. Sometimes when the situation comes around I just nod and excuse myself away if the anxiety gets too bad or just go with the flow until I can avoid the setting. But I know sometimes people think I'm being rude when I'm really not.
poemfromtheheart
Member
Oh my God, yes I always feel so awful. 
Like people in my school will try to talk to me and I won't know what to say next and I'll feel so bad and get so nervous and I'll be like "They must hate me now." I think it's because when I was little my mom was trying to get me over my 'shyness' and said that if I didn't start talking to people and stop being so shy everyone would think I'm rude and unfriendly. And she yelled at me for it too because she said it looked like she wasn't being a good mom and I was rude because of her and stuff.
Like people in my school will try to talk to me and I won't know what to say next and I'll feel so bad and get so nervous and I'll be like "They must hate me now." I think it's because when I was little my mom was trying to get me over my 'shyness' and said that if I didn't start talking to people and stop being so shy everyone would think I'm rude and unfriendly. And she yelled at me for it too because she said it looked like she wasn't being a good mom and I was rude because of her and stuff. 
Shyangel
Well-known member
I avoid social situations a lot for that reason. Do to my discomfort I say somethings more intensely then I intend in my effort to just get something out....I really hate myself sometimes for it, because I don't don't want to be rude and hurt people..I definitely know how you all feel.
Sometimes. Some people get offended if I don't say "hello" to them- mostly coworkers that I see on a regular basis, so I kind of know who I should speak up to when I start my shift. Then there are times when I probably could be social, but I just stand there saying nothing... I don't know if it seems rude or not. Like tonight, I took my kids to a special function at their school. I did try to participate in that, but it felt weird seeing other parents standing around chatting amongst themselves, or with some of the teachers and administrators. I don't know if I seem rude by not joining right in or not. It almost seems like I'm invisible, or worse yet, have a sign around my neck that says "Keep away and don't bother me." Whatever I'm doing (or not doing), it's on a sub-conscious level that I'm not even aware of, and I've been doing it at least since adolescence, if not earlier.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
Some people mistake my anxiety for arrogance or just plain disinterest... I seem to intimidate people with my bitchface. I can't say I blame them, but it does mean that it is up to me to approach them 'cause they won't approach me. I guess sometimes it is true, and I am just not interested. I do want to work on that, showing more interest in others. Oh, and smiling.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
When I used to work, I couldn't greet the people who worked around me. I knew I was being rude, but I just couldn't do it. I am sure they thought I was some weird stuck up bitc... To me it was unnatural. Unlike me. I wanted to be invisible. Others don't appreciate being ignored though. When people greet me now--cashiers, people on the street--I smile and greet them back. Sometimes I greet them first. Once I begin working again, I will work on this, and just make it a habit to greet coworkers and ask how they are doing from day one so it is not weird. It is something I really want to do.
RoomBound
Well-known member
Worse yet, I apparently need to improve my acting skills because sometimes I can't hide how I don't even want to be around my family during mandatory get-togethers (birthdays, holidays). My brothers just talk about killing animals (hunting) and the women either go along with that or talk about shopping. I'm not interested in either thing.
I've heard questions like, "Are you okay? Are you bored? Are you sad?" I always, of course, try to pep-up and say I'm fine. But I really just want to be alone to read/watch TV and can't wait til I get to leave.
I considered starting a thread on how cringeworthy the winter holidays will be for members, but I figured it'd be too much of a downer even for here. lol
I've heard questions like, "Are you okay? Are you bored? Are you sad?" I always, of course, try to pep-up and say I'm fine. But I really just want to be alone to read/watch TV and can't wait til I get to leave.
I considered starting a thread on how cringeworthy the winter holidays will be for members, but I figured it'd be too much of a downer even for here. lol
gustavofring
Well-known member
Yes I do.
I have said in another post that I sometimes have misanthropic episodes. People often get on my nerves and I am very sensitive to what I consider to be stupid, inconsiderate behavior. I have tried for about 2 years to be a happy outgoing person, to keep seeing the good in people, to ignore thoughts of bitterness towards someone etc. but I just find it to be very tiring and it's just not me. The world is full of egotistical people, the only way to not be devoured by it is to create some defenses.
I have tried to be nice to people I don't have a click with, put on a smile, be interested but often times I get nothing but $hit back. I guess they see through the facade. I think I'll try and be more myself, meaning a bit distant, indifferent to them and sarcastic. Only people who are genuinely nice deserve my niceness back.
Is this being an arrogant stuckup to some? Maybe. Do I care? Not any longer. It's just life. Not everyone can like you. A person doesn't like me? Well tough luck, move on. It's too energy devouring to try and please everyone.
I have said in another post that I sometimes have misanthropic episodes. People often get on my nerves and I am very sensitive to what I consider to be stupid, inconsiderate behavior. I have tried for about 2 years to be a happy outgoing person, to keep seeing the good in people, to ignore thoughts of bitterness towards someone etc. but I just find it to be very tiring and it's just not me. The world is full of egotistical people, the only way to not be devoured by it is to create some defenses.
I have tried to be nice to people I don't have a click with, put on a smile, be interested but often times I get nothing but $hit back. I guess they see through the facade. I think I'll try and be more myself, meaning a bit distant, indifferent to them and sarcastic. Only people who are genuinely nice deserve my niceness back.
Is this being an arrogant stuckup to some? Maybe. Do I care? Not any longer. It's just life. Not everyone can like you. A person doesn't like me? Well tough luck, move on. It's too energy devouring to try and please everyone.
lonely_drummer
Well-known member
I know exactly how u feel. I have the select few very close friends and I can open up to them somewhat but once even a single person walks in from outside of my comfort circle things change drastically. I get completely silent, I usually can't even make eye contact with them and the whole time I know deep down that this appears to be rude somewhat. But then again Im most likely over thinking the situation and the person/people don't even notice me in the first place so how could they notice me being rude???
Kiwong
Well-known member
I feel as if I am walking on eggshells around people all the time. Am I annoying them? Is anyone angry with me? Am I looking the wrong way? Who can I talk to?
A few people have responded very negatively to my anxiety, that is what anxiety truly fears. I've been called some horrible names because of it. When that happens I loose sleep and can't eat.
I've also opened up to people and been honest. And you know what people that matter are really supportive. I've made friends.
A few people have responded very negatively to my anxiety, that is what anxiety truly fears. I've been called some horrible names because of it. When that happens I loose sleep and can't eat.
I've also opened up to people and been honest. And you know what people that matter are really supportive. I've made friends.
Last edited:
ThatOneShyKid
Well-known member
I usually feel rude and anxious at the same time. I also feel that people might think I'm ignoring them when really they are all that's on my mind.
I understand where your coming from. I'm often very aloof, and I feel guilty for being so off putting. However, when I do try to be friendly, it just becomes awkward. For example, I'll say hi to someone in the hall and I'll try to smile but I feel unsatisfied with the smile and I have such a hard time making eye contact. It seems like a lose lose situation to me.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
I can relate to a lot of what you have said. Most people get on my nerves. I often wonder why that is. Some are truly annoying. Some are insensitive a-holes that just want to feel superior by putting others down- I have no patience or interest in such people. I seem to encounter a lot of people like that for some reason. I know not everyone is like that, and that there is good in each person, but I just don't want to have to deal with crap from other people as I already have a lot of crap of my own to deal with. Okay, I am ranting now. What I want now is to be more accepting of other people, as a way to be better able to deal with them. I am full of defense mechanisms and this keeps people away and it only makes me feel lonely. I agree 100% with what you said about not being able to please everyone. It is true. Like, even when we are trying to be nice and please people, someone will always get offended. It is just how it is. Some people rub me the wrong way, and I am sure I rub some people the wrong way. Staying true to who I am and doing what I want, though it may seem selfish, is perhaps the best way to go I see now.
Blandy
Active member
When i was at college i felt really bad, every1 was so friendly to me and would often try to start conversations with me, and i found it so hard just to well..talk, i would always just say things like "im alright" etc, i felt really bad with the people who really made a effort, im hoping they just assumed i was shy and not rude.
aw1993
Member
Yeah I start to feel bad because they probably begin to think I'm stuck up or mean(so I've been told by some). I really just don't have a lot to say much of the time, or the motivation/energy to say anything. I'm not trying to be rude at all:/ I try to make up for it by acting really friendly when I do speak up