Did your parents teach you to stand up for yourself?

[dottie]

I never remember a single instance when my parents ever taught me to stand up for myself. I wondered about others here.

 

[SocialRetahd]

My dad taught me the reverse. Did you know that not standing up for yourself has a huge affect on gene expression? You could have looked different, or been a different height, had a different personality, all based on these events.

 

[ooSOULCRYoo]

socialRetahd is that true? Interesting~.From reading your posts, seems like you know a lot about altering ones looks.

 

[SocialRetahd]

Not some much the looks part, but definitely the personality. It's done in protection of yourself.

 

[Foxglove]

Well, I can remember my parents calling me such lovely names as "chickenshit" and "milque toast" and "spineless" when I didn't stand up for myself. Once, a girl spit at me, and when I told my mother (I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time) she told me to go out and slap her face. I didn't want to, so my mother said she would slap my face if I didn't do it. A person needs self confidence and self esteem in order to stand up for themselves, and my parents did everything to rob me of those two things.

 

[rado31]

I never remember a single instance when my parents ever taught me to stand up for myself. I wondered about others here.

same here. as we see from others posts , we cant make any conclusion of it.

however, i see so many orphans fight so good fight for them selves that i even regret for not being one.

 

[phoenix1]

My parents always made me the one to blame, no matter what. If someone was being cruel to me or wronged me in some unfair way, my parents would always ask what I did wrong to make them do that to me. It was always my fault. I wish, just once, they could have told me to stand up and fight against a wrong. To help me fight against someone other than myself all the time.

 

[Invisible_Alien]

My mother always yelled at me for not standing up for myself, so maybe that counts as a yes. My father never really did that I can remember. One time I ran inside after this one kid was harrassing me and my mother yelled at me so much until I cried for over an hour. Finally after that I accepted the challenge to a fight that the kid put on me. Also a lot of times when former friends picked on me my mother would act like it was all my fault and ask what I did wrong. She didn't belive me when I said they all liked to gang up on me (which I guess was my fault anyway).

 

[SocialRetahd]

they are cowards. Even when I was severely depressed, they were too scared to send me to the hospital. My dad probably has social problems too and passed them on to me.

People with problems shouldn't have kids- my parents included.

 

[kyle]

SocialRetahd, you are the most entertaining poster on this forum. If you were to leave, the board would collapse. We owe you a great deal of gratitude.

 

[antibully]

Good question! My Mom taught me, if someone hits you hit them back even harder than they hit you. Back then they didn't suspend you for defending yourself.

 

[monsieurb56]

I was raised by a neurotic, overprotective mom and a detached father who was plagued with alcoholism and bullying as well growing up. Neither ever taught me to stand up for myself.

 

[joeljjison]

my parents were mostly oblivious, and when i told them about being bullied and things, they trivialized them, and said it was my fault.

but then they also kept and continue to reinforce how useless and how much of a failure i am, but thats another story.

to be honest i still believe that it was my fault... (bullying in school) i just dont believe it was exclusively my fault..

i did stand up for myself for a while. it was my first course of action as a young child... i tried ignoring for a while... i tried telling... none of these things fixed my problems

i figured my way to fix the problems of being bullied was alot more calculated than just being reactionary. planning was paramount.. whether it was tricking them into trying to go too far in a place with witnesses, tricking them into bullying someone else who'se words mattered more to teachers, or planning a way to stand up to them that would have a long standing effect...

all in all , its made me a bit scary at times.. i find if you go for revenge, rather than just standing up for yourself its more successful because for everytime, you hit back, they hit you again. and if you hit harder than they can, they get assistance.

 

[Generical]

My parents are nice and everything but i don't think they've actually taught me anything, i don't think i've ever really opened up or whatever to them, they seem fairly critical about everything i do. The thing that really bugs me is when i do do something good, they act so damn suprised i mean do thay actually have any faith in me?! i just want some freaking support for once :?

 

[Truther_Pro]

Well, I can remember my parents calling me such lovely names as "chickenshit" and "milque toast" and "spineless" when I didn't stand up for myself. Once, a girl spit at me, and when I told my mother (I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time) she told me to go out and slap her face. I didn't want to, so my mother said she would slap my face if I didn't do it. A person needs self confidence and self esteem in order to stand up for themselves, and my parents did everything to rob me of those two things.

Your parents are cool. I would do anything to not be called like that.

 

[sunset]

My dad taught me the reverse. Did you know that not standing up for yourself has a huge affect on gene expression? You could have looked different, or been a different height, had a different personality, all based on these events.

Could you please explain how can this behavior affect gene expression?

 

[wooaah]

"just ignore them" is the worst possible advice ever.

I wish someone back then had told me whats obvious now.. that you have to fight back.

 

[Stuntman_Josh]

"just ignore them" is the worst possible advice ever.

I wish someone back then had told me whats obvious now.. that you have to fight back.

Damn skippy, sir. Ignoring it is just like giving them silent consent to do whatever the hell they want to you.

 

[wizduels]

My Father

When my father became aware that I had bullies (he did too when he was in school) he began to teach me karate. He told me if I wanted to walk away there was no shame in that but if I wanted to fight back he would back me all the way after the fact. I had bullies from 3rd grade all the way through Junior year in high school. I can remember fighting 2 of my bullies after my father taught me to defend myself. I cleaned both their clocks. After that, I just walked away from all the others because I knew I had nothing I needed to prove and nothing they said after that could shake my self confidence.

 

[freestylemonster]

I'm sorry to hear about all of you guys and your crappy parent experiences...My parents love me and they're so nice. So nice, in fact that they do EVERYTHING for me. I never really learned to stand up for myself or do things for myself becase my parents would always do those things for me. But I'm in college, living on my own and learning now..