Did you used to be social or were you always SA?
- Thread starter Flyingheart
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xLindziex
Well-known member
I was very shy when I was younger, but I kind of just went with the flow back then. I did whatever and thought nothing of it (ah, the beauty of being so young). In the fifth grade everyone in my class called me the teacher's pet since I would talk with her often and I would get the most tickets for the treasure box lol, but I didn't care at all. I also had friends in my neighborhood who I had known and hung out with all the time, as well as at the daycare I went to.
It was when I moved across town that I started noticing how much I was actually afraid of socializing. I was 12 and starting middle school is when I noticed the biggest change around my peers. All the girls were carrying around purses instead of backpacks, all of them were wearing jeans and make-up (I had ugly uniform dockers on and hadn't even thought about wearing make-up yet). It was just such a big change and I felt like everyone was looking down on me for dressing weird and not being girly (I was in a tomboy-ish phase at the time).
That's where it started, I'm certain. Now, 6 years later, here I am in college trying to make friends to the best of my ability and trying to avoid spending every weekend in my dorm room. Luckily I had killer roommates over the summer and we're rather close, though 2 of them are off campus this year.
Ummm... but I think I'm getting off track?
Td;lr I was always a shy kid but I didn't start caring until middle school. Now it's followed me all the way here too
It was when I moved across town that I started noticing how much I was actually afraid of socializing. I was 12 and starting middle school is when I noticed the biggest change around my peers. All the girls were carrying around purses instead of backpacks, all of them were wearing jeans and make-up (I had ugly uniform dockers on and hadn't even thought about wearing make-up yet). It was just such a big change and I felt like everyone was looking down on me for dressing weird and not being girly (I was in a tomboy-ish phase at the time).
That's where it started, I'm certain. Now, 6 years later, here I am in college trying to make friends to the best of my ability and trying to avoid spending every weekend in my dorm room. Luckily I had killer roommates over the summer and we're rather close, though 2 of them are off campus this year.
Ummm... but I think I'm getting off track?
Td;lr I was always a shy kid but I didn't start caring until middle school. Now it's followed me all the way here too
theslowesthand
Banned
From as long as i can remember, i was always painfully shy. Maybe i might have come accross as just a bit on the quiet side & that's all, but inside i felt like a complete & utter failure with people. I didn't need any bullies - i was my own worst enemy, my own personal bully!.
So its very much a inherited/trait thing which caused my "SA". Going from toddler to child to teen to adult, nothing much changed in that respect .. my own self-created demons happily floated, carefree & completely unrestricted, for all the days/years of my life, on the stable, still effluent pond of my mind.
Edit: My conscious mind/thoughts = effluent pond; My emotional life = effluent pit (raw sewage)
So its very much a inherited/trait thing which caused my "SA". Going from toddler to child to teen to adult, nothing much changed in that respect .. my own self-created demons happily floated, carefree & completely unrestricted, for all the days/years of my life, on the stable, still effluent pond of my mind.
Edit: My conscious mind/thoughts = effluent pond; My emotional life = effluent pit (raw sewage)
Last edited:
UnderTheBoughs
Active member
I have not always had problems. I remember that before I was about 12 I had a number of close friends and I could approach other pupils at school, engage in conversations, everything. I was somewhat shy, more so around adults, but I think that's normal. Then pretty much all of my closest friends got interested in I-don't-know-what-exactly and started dressing like goths you know with long black clothes, chains, dog collars, long or spiked up hair (like big spikes)... So I think I got really isolated from them, most of my friends, and that I feel lead to what I have now where I essentially don't have any friends and I'm alone.
P.S. I'm not trying to be offensive to anyone who chooses to dress like that, etc. (if anything was implied.) That was just my experience.
P.S. I'm not trying to be offensive to anyone who chooses to dress like that, etc. (if anything was implied.) That was just my experience.
Flyingheart
Well-known member
I find it interesting how,not all, but most of us have noted a change about the age of 12. Hmm...
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ I've noticed that too. I really wonder why it is... Hm.... *off to ponder*
I know I've always been shy, but I don't think I was aware of how it was affecting me until I was 9 and changed schools. I didn't know anyone, and had a rough time feeling like I "belonged" there, whereas at my old school I sort of did even though I didn't talk to many people or have any close friends- in other words, I had a problem even then, but was blissfully unaware of it- I think 9/10 is about the age where you start to become more aware of those around you and start caring more about having friends, and I think moving at this particular time pretty much devastated me. But I have a feeling that even if I hadn't switched schools, I still would never have gotten particularly close to people. I don't know why, but I've always been anxious and used avoidance as a coping strategy- whether it was burying myself in books, or holing up in the garage with musical instruments while my more social siblings played outside and made friends with all of the neighborhood kids.
emmbai1990
Member
I've been a quiet girl and found it hard to socialize since like forever so pretty much always been this way but it eas probably all due to my family arguing all the time and my bro bullying me a lot and then getting bullied in high school so i pretty much stayed this way because i don't just get problems other places but also in my own home so it's hard.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
i was always outgoing. loud,friendly,funny,etc. i don't know what happened to me. i don't know why i changed. it's distressing to me when i think of how i used to be and how i am now.
but then i wonder, was that person i used to be just what i did to fit in and now that i'm an adult i don't feel that pressure to be that way anymore so I'm not?
but then i wonder, was that person i used to be just what i did to fit in and now that i'm an adult i don't feel that pressure to be that way anymore so I'm not?
MoniqueNS
Banned
I have had it all my life for sure. It is absolutely genetic in my situation. But I was able to manage it much more effectively, until the last few years. And then a year ago, is when I just had a breakdown and now I'm still trying to recover and gain back any sort of normal life.
I remember in elementary school I was always one of the cool kids in my class. Didn't have much anxiety around my peers (I was still shy around girls though).
Then I went to middle school and basically didn't know anyone in any of my classes and BAM. Incredible anxiety and it's been a struggle ever since.
Then I went to middle school and basically didn't know anyone in any of my classes and BAM. Incredible anxiety and it's been a struggle ever since.
BiWinning
Well-known member
I was one of those annoying popular people, then I got fed up with being snobby and lost all of my friends, no must or some literally all, then I turned into a misanthrope, and after that phase ended years ago I realised I had gotten SA and now it is really hard for me to talk to people and actually speak. Guess my story is similar to a lot of people ^^
Lonelykitsune
Well-known member
I used to be quite loud an obnoxious when I was 4 til about age 8. Didn't make friends though. When I was 9 I became more quiet but had a close friend but preferred to stay by myself in the playground and run about. Odd I know. Then at 12 my friend went to another school and I became very withdrawn and all i really have is at the moment. few aquaintinces (for the past 5 years ot even that)
I've not had any traumatic incidents so I don't get why it started at all.
I've not had any traumatic incidents so I don't get why it started at all.
mikebird
Banned
Yep. I gave up on people in my early twenties. My SA status was mostly hidden underneath, and I only realised it this year on this site how poignant it was. I struggled thru skool, where friends are for free. Uni, jail & hospital makes it simple to get on with ppl. Since a world of hatred due to unemployment, it became clear how much you have to bend over & and lick ppl's shoes to get on with those who control you. The perplexing bit is that now I'm not friends with all those I used to be, for years. I have plenty in common with that myriad of mates, built up over so many years, but now it seems I have nothing to offer now. Distance is a biggie. I think the key to life from here is how much shoe-licking I do, or any other licking a boss wants... Once I make a fortune, then we're all be back on the level we all were. About age 20 was when I loved everyone, vice-versa, and I was the one buying the beers and organising big parties
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
I've always been shy but I didn't realize I had SA until halfway through my freshman year in high school when I was 13. The only difference between the past and the present is that I was a very happy and playful child until I grew up into this.