Did going to a new school contribute to your SA?

[cosmosis]

I was thinking back on my past, which I do too often..but I was thinking about how everything changed when I went to a new school in a different country at around 10. Everyone felt different, I felt different. Before the move, I was just a quiet yet happy kid with plenty of friends. When we moved, I slowly got out of touch with everyone around me. It didn't happen overnight it was more like a slow decay over the years. I moved schools twice more, but the first once really set everything in motion.

My wife has the exact same story. She was outgoing, sooo happy, until she moved out of state to a new school around 10 and everything slowly fell apart after that. I have a feeling those first few years really do mold your perception of how people are or how you should be and its more difficult then many people realize to adapt to a change like that. I have heard of others that experience the same thing, especially if they move significant distance at around that age. Anyone else experience this?

 

[lurknomore]

Yes. My family moved when I was 9, so I started a new school in fourth grade. It was a horrible experience. I wasn't outgoing or having a lot of friends before that, but I felt comfortable at my old school, like I was accepted and belonged, even though I was shy. Trying to find a place at the new school was awful, and even at the high school level I never felt like I fit in, and it was frustrating to watch other new students come in each year and find their niche, while I never found mine. I'd say that was the worst year of school in my life, along with freshman year of high school- but that's another story.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Looking back, I think it may have had a role. We moved just as I was about to finish primary school and into an area that wasn't very diverse. The area we lived in, I felt comfortable to some degree at school and enjoyed playing outside. The new area was the complete opposite. I made some good friends but wished what life would have been like had we not moved. Maybe I would have been invited to play out more regularly so I wouldn't have been so anxious in social situations as I grew older.

 

[squidgee]

Possibly. I was okay at my first high school but then I changed at 9th grade and things just started going downhill. It got slightly better in 10th grade but I still kinda regret the school change.

 

[Kiwong]

Without question.

 

[Barrier]

I think it really manifested itself when I went to high school. I regret going to that school very much.

 

[Olly]

I think definitely yes, as far as I can remember I was very quiet, but reasonably comfortable with a few friends, but then my mum wanted to move me a better private school in year 3 (age 7) and when it came to actually going to this new school, where while I did know one person, it was generally all completely unknown, and for some reason I reacted incredibly badly, being terrified every morning before school and I just remember crying when I got to school every morning for what must have been a few weeks and needless to say I never really properly made friends again until I was moved back several years later to the previous school because my parents couldn't afford the private school fees anymore, which was alright cause I had a few people that I had kept in touch with.

Why I reacted so badly, I've no idea and I still have flashbacks and I feel ashamed of what I was like, but I do think my SA may have come from this.

 

[laure15]

In the past, I changed schools frequently and this contributed to my SA. I was never able to fit in and was bullied often. Those 5 years were one of the worst times of my life, so far.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Wow i have exactly the same story, same age, too, and yes aajor contributer if not the main one, along with a family falli.g apart from stress right after that move

 

[Ithior]

I have to say that moving to a new school was never too much of a problem because I always had someone moving with me (to the same school and even the same class).

Until highschool my SA was basically shyness. Then when I got into highschool, even with my friends by my side my SA started to get worse and as I was getting into weirder hobbies I started to share less and less with people.

I don't think changing schools was the trigger though.

 

[knr9311]

I do believe that it does contribute!
I've had symptoms ever since I can remember, but I did move around a lot from house to house (in town though). When I was 7, though, my dad took me to live in a different town. I only had one friend, but I never thought much about it because I had only had one friend in my hometown. However, I finally moved with my mom & dad to another town, again when I was 8. This time all the kids were asking me questions & just felt so overwhelmed & out-of-place! I even had a girl chase me around the playground trying to be my friend, but I ran away because I didn't want to be the center of attention.

 

[cosmosis]

Thanks for the responses. When I look back at it all, I really think I see and judge the world through those first 10 years before the move. After so many years, I still believe I need to be a certain way in order to fit in or be loved in general. And strangely enough, those values come from the time before we moved (before 10). After we moved, its like I saw the world as wrong or fake and I just couldn't fit in even though I knew what they wanted from me. In any case, the reason I'm really curious is because I have a child now and I don't to make the same mistakes my parents made. I plan to stay put through the school years.

 

[spearhunter]

I never changed school, so I cant say.

 

[this_portrait]

Definitely yes, though for me it was transitioning from high school to college. It probably wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for the fact that my high school also has a middle and elementary school that I happened to attend as well, so I was around the same people for my whole life. I went from one environment to a completely different one.

 

[LittleKitty]

I've been to about 8 schools or more. Honestly, I lost count. I've always been very shy and quiet but I found my small group of friends in about the first hour, few days later I knew most of my classmates and then more. It wasn't till I was 12 that I gave up on starting over, I guess in a way I gave up on life. I didn't want to get attached to people anymore since I'll just leave again. It was also tiring too, I didnt understand how I could be a different person so quickly simply by being in a new school and around new people. I didn't know who I was anymore, that's when my shyness started to grow into something more. I stoped feeling excitement mixed with some anxiety, it was just "I wonder who I'll be this time" with the anxiety still there.

Soo... =D that was long and with more detail then I would of liked =P anyways, I think moving is what caused my SA.