Diary publication thread of mine

[Remus]

I have physical health problems that make my life exhausting and empty. I had this infection some years ago that I can't seem to recover after, or perhaps it was all the antibiotics that destroyed my immune defence system. I am tired and exhausted everyday all day.

I had the same issue about 8 years ago (still do) my physical health just collapsed, 4 years before I got a proper diagnosis to be told there is no cure, I changed my diet and lifestyle, took years to get to a functioning state and the depression was immense as I used to be an active person. Friends soon desert you too, only a few hang on (legends!), not that I even had a lot of friends in the first place. I'm not sure what the health service is like where you are (free or not) but I had to do a lot of kicking off to get diagnosis, did my own research etc. You sound like you are describing CFS.

 

[Nanita]

I went and did something about it, I joined a local facebook foody group, made some great friends there, quite a few have social anxiety including the bloke that runs it, so they were understanding. Most of them bake and cook, are a bit older 40s-50s and are quite lovely. I was absolutely terrified on the first meet, but when I chat about food, you cannot shut me up (them too!) Luckily the meet is only a couple of hours a month so that people don't drain me.

Is there something like that in your area? a group with common interests?

I'm now considering open mic nights and dusting off my old guitar. Hope the enthusiasm lasts as it's always a roller-coaster between that and total apathy with me.

Thank you so much.
It's really difficult for me to do something like that. I really don't think I could do it. Maybe if someone I know went with me. But I don't know anyone who would do anything with me.
I'm socially dysfunctional in general. The level of dysfunctionality goes up and down in different situations.
I can't talk to people. When I get really awkward and nervous around people (which I always do) they think I'm arrogant and weird. Which I am. And they don't like me.
I wish I could do something like what you're doing with that food group. It's not like I haven't done things like that previously in my life. But everything always went bad for me, it never goes well, so I stopped doing anything or being a part of anything. I couldn't keep trying and never succeeding.

 

[Nanita]

I had the same issue about 8 years ago (still do) my physical health just collapsed, 4 years before I got a proper diagnosis to be told there is no cure, I changed my diet and lifestyle, took years to get to a functioning state and the depression was immense as I used to be an active person. Friends soon desert you too, only a few hang on (legends!), not that I even had a lot of friends in the first place. I'm not sure what the health service is like where you are (free or not) but I had to do a lot of kicking off to get diagnosis, did my own research etc. You sound like you are describing CFS.

Yeah it might be CFS. My therapist mentioned it could be Bodily Distress Syndrome. I don't know. I just know that I've been tired everyday since I had that infection.
I have changed my diet somewhat, but I can't change it the way I want because I can't afford it.
Healthcare here is free for the most part, but if the regular doctors can't see anything wrong with my health, they can't help me in any way.
I'd like to see a doctor that knows more about the immune defense system, or offers alternative treatments that have helped people who didn't get help from the regular traditional healthcare... But that isn't free here. Maybe I could afford going to see someone about it, but I probably couldn't afford the needed diet changes or any vitamins thet I would be recommended.