Depression, Anxiety, and Sleep

[Rawz]

Hello, I am new to this forum and I finally decided to post something to see if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, etc, that might help me. If you don't want to read all of this, just go down to the bolded part, it's what I really want help with.

I have had depression, anxiety, and panic attacks since I was 13. I also worry a lot about things, so I guess I have some OCD too. I have always had the problem where I will worry/obsess about different things, even when I was a kid. But I didn't become really bad until sometime after turning 13.

Once I was 13 and things became really bad I was depressed all the time and crying most of the time for no reason. I was put on Prozac for about a year and then it stopped working, or at least no longer worked as good as it used to. So then I was put on Effexor. But I didn't like taking pills and I had become better, so I stopped taking it after only taking it for 1-3 months. I don't remember having any withdrawal symptoms at all, I easily quit it cold turkey.

I was still depressed and still cried, but it wasn't that bad. I was able to handle it well, so I stayed away from any drugs. But I became worse around when I turned 18. I started drinking about 6-10 cans of Coca-Cola a day and started having problems with heartburn, but didn't stop. I guess that was my weird way of self-harming. I did a lot of damaged though and now have bad acid reflux and I can only drink one soda a month now and can have very little fatty or fried foods.

I eventually tried Paxil (technically the second time, but the first time I wasn't consistent on taking it and only tried it for a couple weeks). I took it for a month and it did help, but once I became better I wanted to stop taking (because I was better). That is how I am, I hate taking pills and being dependent on them, so once I am better, I stop. I found I couldn't stop cold turkey, so I had to slowly wean myself off of Paxil. Even then, it was hard and I had to deal with side effects/withdrawal.

Ever since then, I haven't been the same. I started having bad problems with my heart/anxiety. It's like I became stuck in "fight or flight" mode, but in a bad way. So most of the time my heart would be racing and pounding. I had a really hard time trying to fall asleep every night and didn't sleep good. I also couldn't cry anymore. I never realized how relieving crying really was and how I needed it until I couldn't do it anymore. So any emotion, stress, anxiety that I would normally get rid of by crying, kept building up inside of me. I still can't cry, so matter how much I feel like it or want to.

I couldn't handle this, every day was really hard to get through and every night was brutal when it came to trying to fall asleep. So I went to a different doctor and was put on Vistaril (sp?) and Effexor (75mg). I took them for 1-2 months (I wasn't always consistent). I got better, not a lot, but good enough that I was able to function, and soon stopped taking them. Then I started weight lifting and that really helped. I've been doing that for a few months and my heart problems are almost completely gone, and my anxiety is a lot less. It has helped much, much more than the cardio I was doing before (although still do that some).

I could keep going on, and on, and on. I have already written a lot though so I will try to get to what I really need help on: sleep.

My whole life I've never gotten the kind of sleep that I was always told I was supposed to get. I would always read in my school books how you are supposed to wake up rested and refreshed, but I've always woke up tired. These past years when I've had depression and anxiety my sleep has been worse. And in the past couple of years it's been really, really bad. I am a zombie all day, every day and most of the time life doesn't feel real.

I have tried anti-depressants, melatonin, valerian, eating healthier, exercise, yoga/stretches, ambien, decongestants (I have bad sinus problems), meditating, music, different mattresses and memory foam, having some milk and bananas before bed, etc. I've tried about everything I can think of or can find online and nothing has really worked. Some of these things have helped some, but it hasn't been enough.

I have been to two different doctors and have been to a therapist several times. I have mentioned my problems with sleep many times and have tried everything that has been suggested, but still my sleep is terrible. I can fall asleep fine and, as far as I know, I sleep throughout the night with no problems, but I'm not resting up very much at all. I'm still very tired and spacey all day. My concentration and focus is terrible.

Thanks very much for any help and suggestions.

 

[MikeyC]

You say you're depressed, anxious, and you worry a lot. That could be why you're not getting good sleep. You have probably developed some kind of insomnia, too.

Your brain is not shutting down and you're waking up like you've had no sleep. You say you've tried everything but you have to keep trying. Learning to relax at night might go a long way. Avoid the computer or TV right before bed as they'll likely keep you awake.

 

[Rawz]

Thanks for the post.

You say you're depressed, anxious, and you worry a lot. That could be why you're not getting good sleep. You have probably developed some kind of insomnia, too.

Yeah, I can't understand how it's gotten so much worse the past couple of years though. My depression and worrying hasn't become any worse. And things that depress me and worry me, like my teeth and acid reflux/damage to my esophagus, I can't fix. I can't seem to stop worrying about them either, although I've been trying to control/change my thoughts.

Your brain is not shutting down and you're waking up like you've had no sleep. You say you've tried everything but you have to keep trying. Learning to relax at night might go a long way. Avoid the computer or TV right before bed as they'll likely keep you awake.

Yeah, I have seen it suggested that you should spend an hour before bed with dim lighting, doing something relaxing, etc. If I'm not doing something distracting enough, I can start to worry/get anxious, etc. So I don't spend more than 30 minutes doing something less stimulating than internet/music/video games.

I thought I might start picking up books at the library to read before bed. But I have no idea what books to read.

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah, I can't understand how it's gotten so much worse the past couple of years though. My depression and worrying hasn't become any worse. And things that depress me and worry me, like my teeth and acid reflux/damage to my esophagus, I can't fix. I can't seem to stop worrying about them either, although I've been trying to control/change my thoughts.

Your acid reflux is constantly on your brain, though. That's something you won't be able to forget about completely but hopefully you can get it down to a more manageable level so you can rest at night.

Yeah, I have seen it suggested that you should spend an hour before bed with dim lighting, doing something relaxing, etc. If I'm not doing something distracting enough, I can start to worry/get anxious, etc. So I don't spend more than 30 minutes doing something less stimulating than internet/music/video games.

I thought I might start picking up books at the library to read before bed. But I have no idea what books to read.

Hmm, I'm not sure. That might be a whole thought process you need to alter so that doing less stimulating things won't cause you to worry. Going to the library and reading a book is a fantastic idea but I hope that's not going to make you worry, considering it's not stimulating (well, that depends on how much you enjoy the book). Think about what kind of genre you like and have a look in that section of the library. There's bound to be one to pique your interest.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I have had insomnia since I was 12 and without the right amount of restful sleep, your health can really go downhill- you can become more anxious, gain weight, have skin break outs and become very depressed.

I think that if you can manage to help yourself with one problem- the other two will probably lessen and become more bearable.

Have you been to a sleep study before?

 

[Rawz]

Thanks for the post.

have skin break outs

Can that include your skin looking red and irratated? My face and the tops of my arms are always a little red. It started months ago. Although sometimes when weight lifting it goes away.

Have you been to a sleep study before?

That was one of the first things that my family doctor mentioned, but he soon became against that and, although he wasn't super clear, I think he said it was $2,000. If it costs that much, even with insurance, then that definitely isn't happening.

He's asked me different questions and such, and doesn't think I have any disorders. I was wondering if I had sleep apnea, but it seems it's impossible to have it if you aren't overweight. I don't know if I snore, but I do know that my mom does and she sometimes wakes up at night snorting, hacking, etc. She has sinus problems (she is the one who gave them to me).

 

[irrational]

I'm glad you posted this. It describes exactly what I feel like most of the time, right donwn to the sinus problems. It's like when you're driving and all of a sudden you look up and can't recall the last few miles. That's a lot of my days ...

I started using a saline solution to clear my sinus after reading the page below. It's cheap and harmless, i'll let you know if it saves my sanity.

Neti Pot: A Natural High

tl;dr

If one nostril is restricted more than the other, it can excessively stimulate a single side of the autonomic nervous system, and in turn, influence our behavior and our health. For example, a restricted left nostril may promote anger, anxiety, and aggression while a restricted right nostril can cause fatigue and lack of motivation.

 

[Rawz]

I'm glad you posted this. It describes exactly what I feel like most of the time, right donwn to the sinus problems. It's like when you're driving and all of a sudden you look up and can't recall the last few miles. That's a lot of my days...

Yeah, although I haven't had that while driving for awhile now, I used to have that happen a lot when driving. And I have had that kind of thing happen often when not driving. I've kind of always had that sort of thing though. When I was a kid sometimes I would zone out and when I came to it would feel like everything I did while I was zoned out was a video game or movie or something. And sometimes I would stare off into the distance and zone out starting at an exact spot for a minute or so.

Sometimes I worry that my problems aren't only sleep related. That I might just be going crazy too. But it's hard to tell, because being sleep deprived enough can make you crazy, but it's not permanent. Unless you can't fix your sleep deprivation, of course.

Thanks for the link, irrational, I'll check it out. I haven't yet tried a neti pot/saline solution for my sinus problems, but I will.

 

[Hoppy]

I've got sleep apnea.

I also have the pattern of sleeping eight hours a night anbd then having a bad day. Sitting in a chair at work eight o'clock in the morning wishing I could sleep isn't very nice.

I did a basic home based test that is much cheaper than the full sleep test, only checking blood oxygen, snoring and breathing patterns.

Typical symptoms of sleep apnea includes bad short term memory and lack of concentration.

Obesity, smoking is factors, but you don't have to be fat or snoring to get it.

The sinus trouble seems like a very good marker, and sleep apnea is very much hereditary, and your mother has trouble as well.

Unforunately it seems to be one of those problems that can only be solved if you have a lot of money. It is possible to rent CPAP machines here in South Africa, maybe you should check your side?

Good luck.

 

[Gaucho]

Hello there. wile you sleep is your head near(like 10cm-1m) sockets? if so turn your bed around or you just lay as far as possible.
Because there exists elektrosmog:

I had the same problem and many other people have it, that when i woke up, I couldn't open my eyes and felt like a damned Zombie. Also you should try to make sure that the entire electricity connection of your house is gone of all lights when you switch off the last light.

Also there exist underground streams, and they are very harming if they go thru under you bed.

I know these things may sound a bit strange, but its really true, you should try and focus on these things because you have nothing to lose, as you said you tried everything. I know these things( tho only a little bit) because a person of my family works in that area professionally with the above stated things.

I wish you the best and don't give up.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I was wondering if I had sleep apnea, but it seems it's impossible to have it if you aren't overweight. I don't know if I snore, but I do know that my mom does and she sometimes wakes up at night snorting, hacking, etc. She has sinus problems (she is the one who gave them to me).

It's possible even if you're quite fit.
My dad is 6'2", 150lbs and has sleep apnea. He has to sleep with one of those machines stuck to his face like in the Alien movies.