You're Awesome.
Within our lives we all get our fair share of fortunes and misfortunes. And seeing as you are reading this (education), and you're reading this on some kind of internet access (library, cafe or home connection), you're not doing too badly. No, that was not meant as a shot at our modern fortunes, but rather more an alternative way of looking at your life and situation, good or bad as it may be.
In my short life on this Earth I've noticed one reoccurring pattern; Life ****ing sucks. It does. You know it. I know it. And even that suspicious looking spider on the wall knows it to some degree. We just so happen to live in a universe that runs of a chaotic energy that is constantly trying to change and find a balance for itself. And once in a while that balance causes things to fall down the crapper. Which isn't so bad when you think about it. The only thing we could possibly describe as perfect is nothing. And I don't mean ''nothing is perfect'', but I mean ''the thing we accepted as nothing (aka: truly empty space) is perfect because it is the only (non existent) phenomena that is not, and will never be, subjected to change''. But, We have chosen to accept the word ''perfect'' as something excessively good, so does that mean that imperfection is perfect? Makes you think, doesn't it? A universe with nothing in it would be pretty boring from a lifeform's perspective. In essence, we need the chaos. We run on imperfection and imbalance. Again, not an attempt on making you feel ungrateful or insignificant. Another way of looking at life and everything else in existence.
With a brain that only registers opinions and raw thoughts through electrical stimulances from 3th party senses, facts aren't of grave importance as far as your personal psyche is concerned. Our reality itself is by definition a impulse-generated illusion that is a mere attempt for your brain to comprehend and understand the complicated world/universe around you. From a universal point of view there is no ''right'' or ''wrong'' (another concept our reality lives and breathes on). Neither is there such a thing as a right or wrong decision. Sure, we look at murderers and rapist as being ''wrong'' because they disrupt our lives and harm our most precious asset; our life and selfish needs. In response of their ''wrongness'', we lock them away so they won't be able to reach us anymore. And because we're emotional creatures and see locking someone away as being ''wrong'' as well, the act of locking up must be justified by that locked up person having done something equally- or more, ''wrong''. And no, this is not me condoning rape and murder, I am merely dissecting and elaborating mentality so my final conclusion won't sound like unfounded gibberish. Our view on (the ultimate) ''right' and ''wrong'' has changed so much over the course of history, that it is not to be taken seriously anymore. At one point in time it was perfectly fine, heroic even, to kill people for a living. And even in today's world we see examples of this. Do you really think criminals see themselves as evil? No, they don't. That is just us. The only thing they feel is rejected and found a way of living with it. They see themselves as different. Their view of ''right'' and ''wrong'' are completely different. I am not condoning, I am emphasizing mentality.
''Right'' and ''wrong'' evolves with us as our society(system) changes. If ''right'' and ''wrong'' were factual phenomena they wouldn't be changed to suit our constantly changing needs and opinions. They would have a constant and linear meaning. By now you must be wondering what my point is with all this. My point is very simple; your life and the entire universe around you changes when your opinions and views about it change.
The sole reason I'm writing this, and why the above elaboration was necessary. Is to give people insight on how a simple ''I suck at/in *activity of choice*'' affects them in far more harmful ways then they ever anticipated. I know this, because I have lived this. I constantly talked down on myself. ''I suck at this'' and ''I can't do that'', and you know what? That wasn't true. I could do it, and I did do it. You know why I couldn't do it before? Because I convinced myself I couldn't. I changed my entire reality by just saying things. And the same thing goes for life in general. I've been on various mental health forums now, and have learned a lot about human psychology. And there's quite vivid prove of concept on those sites that people whom have problems but approach them positively find solutions thousands of times faster then those whom wallow in self pity and negativity. And in some cases the negativity can be fatal through suicide. Just because of negative thoughts.
Unprovoked negative thoughts are poisonous. Even when you don't notice it. Every goal, every dream and even your life, is made or broken by your attitude. Don't say that you can't do it. Pick up the pieces and try again. Because you're awesome, and you've always been. The only one holding you back is you and your attitude.
~Puma
