coworker...

[LazyHermitCrab]

There's a coworker who used to work with me, but luckily works in another department now (retail) but still annoys me. When he worked with me he would tell everyone there how im so shy and just made it awkward when I first started the job. He even once got in my face and was like helloo and I ignored him because he was too close. If I pass him he gives me a fake big cheesy grin. There was another time he said "boring people make the day go slow" (referring to me). Yesterday we were taking a test on computers and there were like 8 empty seats. He choose to sit right next to me and was like hiii and I said hi... and then I tried to concentrate on the test. He kept talking to himself and it took me twice as long to complete the test because of how irritating he is. Is it okay to keep ignoring him? It seems rude but hes rude too though mg:

 

[migthymask]

I hate that kind of co-workers, I have one that he thinks that he's frindly but is stupid and annoying, the worst is that I should work with him in a project, one time I have a dream where I hit up his face, I can't work with that stupid :/

 

[Stressball]

There's a coworker who used to work with me, but luckily works in another department now (retail) but still annoys me. When he worked with me he would tell everyone there how im so shy and just made it awkward when I first started the job. He even once got in my face and was like helloo and I ignored him because he was too close. If I pass him he gives me a fake big cheesy grin. There was another time he said "boring people make the day go slow" (referring to me). Yesterday we were taking a test on computers and there were like 8 empty seats. He choose to sit right next to me and was like hiii and I said hi... and then I tried to concentrate on the test. He kept talking to himself and it took me twice as long to complete the test because of how irritating he is. Is it okay to keep ignoring him? It seems rude but hes rude too though mg:

Wow, that'd make my blood boil. Just plain idiotic and rude. I seriously hate people like this! I think you have 2 options: Keeping ignoring him (which is probably the easiest, eventually he'll just get bored and stop bothering you) or get into his face and confront him on his behaviour, but you'd have to be very assertive and know exactly what to say to him. I know if it was me I have a shorter fuse with people these days and tell him he's incredibly judgemental and that I was frankly sick of his rude comments and specify which ones, as well as to stop bothering me. But of course that'd make relationships in the office a bit more awkward, you have to be careful with your moves in office politics. I think there is just a point where enough's enough really, you got to determine if its worth it or not.

 

[Friendless2]

Looks like he got ego problems too,so he likes to humiliate others to feel superior.

 

[Lilly789]

Goodness - he's trying to communicate and chat with you in a light hearted way? what a *******!!

Have you ever said anything, or shown him in some way (other than just ignoring) that he is bothering and should stop or back off?

To be honest, I think simply ignoring is pretty rude. He's human and humans need to be told of the boundaries when these boundaries are outside of their normal day to day life - he deserves acknowledgement.

Let him know boundaries - THEN ignore him (or tell him off) when he breaks them.

To be honest it sounds like he's trying to at least be workplace friends with you and has no idea how to go about it, partly because you're not letting him know. He is just trying a little too hard in ways that turn you off.

He might not be the brightest, but at least he is trying to some degree, and it doesn't appear that anything he has done has been malicious or purposefully mean, even though it may be inappropriate. He probably thought telling others you were shy would stop them from inundating you - he probably thought he was helping.

Stupid might be annoying but consciously rude is probably worse.

I really don't think he is trying to be rude, hes just being silly to try, and try and try to break the ice, and you have put him down every time for no reason (at least in his eyes). No wonder he is confused.

 

[theoutsider]

People need to give others respect. Clearly, you don't want to communicate with him and given his behavior I don't blame you. Just because you're quiet and could be shy doesn't give anyone the right to broadcast your business to everyone. It also doesn't give him the right to be abusive toward you in any way. Insecure people are truly sickening. Basically you aren't giving him the attention he feels he deserves and that is making him feel spiteful. You don't owe him anything and if this situation is occurring at work you need to report him and let management know that he is making you feel threatened or, at the least, uncomfortable.

 

[Whoopdeedoo]

This is going to sound weird but i think this person is giving you attention cause they want to be your friend ..or @ the least theyre curious about you and trying to get a rise out of you or
some sort of reaction from you. So give them a reaction.

You have anxiety and this persons appears to be socially inept in some other way... I say a little humor and imagination could turn this around.
Get creative.. Try a practical joke to show them youre not boring
Shoot him with a water pistol filled with hawiian punch or put an exlax or a mento in his soda pop
Make them the butt of the joke and bring negative attention to them lol
Lol
I think SA peeps need to lighten up... @ least i know I do
Something gotta give or we re all gonna pop! Lol
Good luck

 

[nodejesque]

Sounds like he is harassing you. That should not be tolerated, especially in the work place. I think you should contact your manager and HR department. Be adamant and firm, that he makes you purposely uncomfortable.

Hope it work out for you, and I would tell him to stop bothering me. Be clear, and if he persists, then I'd bring it up to management.

 

[Richey]

Personally, I think that what you are describing is legitimately annoying and it tends to result from other co-workers having a big ego, liking to gossip. Often people use intense sarcasm that borders on rude and to be honest I personally don't like those sorts of interactions either as they just are very uncomfortable and put simply, aren't very nice on any level....

What can be even worse is when you say something funny in return and they don't get the reference or comment and then they proceed to turn on you, or they try to go "one over you" with something derogatory and sarcastic, as if they have won the battle of the ego, even though you didn't even really care.

Honestly, the best interactions i have at work are with other nice, egoless people that don't get involved with gossip and aren't intimidating. It is just way more open and interesting to me then dealing with inflated egos or narcissists.

I completely understand your problem.

Don't ignore them completely, but maybe give them some kudos and then try to cut the conversation short so it doesn't lead into some nasty conversation that the other person may try to initiate....

I think a lot of people take sarcasm and banter too far into rudeness areas at work. Maybe it is normal for them, but it isn't nice and often it is not even funny on any level. Humour is one thing, rude banter is something else completely different and best avoided.

I understand what Lilly talked about, don't ignore them, but perhaps try to focus on someone else, another co-worker or just focus on the job and try to not let this person get to you, as hard as that may seem.

By the way, if the overall work environment is toxic, maybe do your best to find something else, seeing as life goes by pretty quickly. Try and live the life you truly want to.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Goodness - he's trying to communicate and chat with you in a light hearted way? what a *******!!

Have you ever said anything, or shown him in some way (other than just ignoring) that he is bothering and should stop or back off?

To be honest, I think simply ignoring is pretty rude. He's human and humans need to be told of the boundaries when these boundaries are outside of their normal day to day life - he deserves acknowledgement.

Let him know boundaries - THEN ignore him (or tell him off) when he breaks them.

To be honest it sounds like he's trying to at least be workplace friends with you and has no idea how to go about it, partly because you're not letting him know. He is just trying a little too hard in ways that turn you off.

He might not be the brightest, but at least he is trying to some degree, and it doesn't appear that anything he has done has been malicious or purposefully mean, even though it may be inappropriate. He probably thought telling others you were shy would stop them from inundating you - he probably thought he was helping.

Stupid might be annoying but consciously rude is probably worse.

I really don't think he is trying to be rude, hes just being silly to try, and try and try to break the ice, and you have put him down every time for no reason (at least in his eyes). No wonder he is confused.

Yes I agree with that ignoring someone is rude. It's just that I was trying to be nice before but then he picks/jokes to me too much. If he was nice I wouldn't ignore him. He just bothers me on purpose for a reaction which I won't give because I don't want to get in trouble. I tried to say hi back to be nice but he hasn't changed... he kept being loud when I got an answer wrong on a question and it was distracting. He shouldn't even be looking at what I was doing on the computer when he was taking his test... :shyness:

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

People need to give others respect. Clearly, you don't want to communicate with him and given his behavior I don't blame you. Just because you're quiet and could be shy doesn't give anyone the right to broadcast your business to everyone. It also doesn't give him the right to be abusive toward you in any way. Insecure people are truly sickening. Basically you aren't giving him the attention he feels he deserves and that is making him feel spiteful. You don't owe him anything and if this situation is occurring at work you need to report him and let management know that he is making you feel threatened or, at the least, uncomfortable.

Luckily he doesn't work in the same section anymore so I rarely come into contact with him. Yes I agree that it's important to report someone. I don't feel the need to report him now but if I did I would

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

This is going to sound weird but i think this person is giving you attention cause they want to be your friend ..or @ the least theyre curious about you and trying to get a rise out of you or
some sort of reaction from you. So give them a reaction.

You have anxiety and this persons appears to be socially inept in some other way... I say a little humor and imagination could turn this around.
Get creative.. Try a practical joke to show them youre not boring
Shoot him with a water pistol filled with hawiian punch or put an exlax or a mento in his soda pop
Make them the butt of the joke and bring negative attention to them lol
Lol
I think SA peeps need to lighten up... @ least i know I do
Something gotta give or we re all gonna pop! Lol
Good luck

Haha well I think I'd be in trouble for using a water pistol at work but that would be cool.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Personally, I think that what you are describing is legitimately annoying and it tends to result from other co-workers having a big ego, liking to gossip. Often people use intense sarcasm that borders on rude and to be honest I personally don't like those sorts of interactions either as they just are very uncomfortable and put simply, aren't very nice on any level....

What can be even worse is when you say something funny in return and they don't get the reference or comment and then they proceed to turn on you, or they try to go "one over you" with something derogatory and sarcastic, as if they have won the battle of the ego, even though you didn't even really care.

Honestly, the best interactions i have at work are with other nice, egoless people that don't get involved with gossip and aren't intimidating. It is just way more open and interesting to me then dealing with inflated egos or narcissists.

I completely understand your problem.

Don't ignore them completely, but maybe give them some kudos and then try to cut the conversation short so it doesn't lead into some nasty conversation that the other person may try to initiate....

I think a lot of people take sarcasm and banter too far into rudeness areas at work. Maybe it is normal for them, but it isn't nice and often it is not even funny on any level. Humour is one thing, rude banter is something else completely different and best avoided.

I understand what Lilly talked about, don't ignore them, but perhaps try to focus on someone else, another co-worker or just focus on the job and try to not let this person get to you, as hard as that may seem.

By the way, if the overall work environment is toxic, maybe do your best to find something else, seeing as life goes by pretty quickly. Try and live the life you truly want to.

The environment is okay for the most part but does make my anxiety the most high. I don't see him that often anyway. I'm applying to other jobs and will switch once college is over because this place works around my schedule well for the time being.