"Conquering" SA

[ridicule]

All this talk of "conquering" SA is just a load of BS, in my opinion. It's not as if anyone has ever chosen who they are going to be, what they like, etc. it all just..... happens. Who we are, that's who we are, and we can maybe only change 1-5%. I don't think there's ever going to be a time where someone who hates crowds is suddenly going to go bar hopping, and any of you with that expectation, good luck to you.

Accept who you are, this is who you are, you have to deal in the parameters in which life has dealt you. Only take your situation and slightly improve it to rough out the edges. I know a lot of you hate this aspect of yourself, but I love it, it's something that will keep me safe and help me construct the best possible life for myself devoid of unworthy people.

I guess thoughts, if you have any.

 

[Prestonator]

I think to some extent you are right.

But it IS possible to overcome SA through CBT. Changing how you think in a fearful situation. I know this because I am in the process of getting over my fears!

You just need to have confidence that you can do it!

Some are just naturally shy or what ever, but the point is, some (like me) get restricted/held back by their SA. In cases like these it is possible to overcome your anxiety. Its the same with depression. With the right help - it is possible

 

[Mickery]

I know a guy who had SA. He got over the worst of it. Now he helps others do the same. He's my therapist.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

The prognosis for social anxiety disorder is generally held to be good if the patient gets treatment and commits to getting better.

However, from what I've observed, individual cases can be very different in both cause and severity. I do not think that everyone actually has the potential to completely or perhaps even mostly overcome it. I do think that everyone has the potential to make significant progress if they apply sufficient effort.

 

[kilojoule]

All this talk of "conquering" SA is just a load of BS, in my opinion. It's not as if anyone has ever chosen who they are going to be, what they like, etc. it all just..... happens. Who we are, that's who we are, and we can maybe only change 1-5%. I don't think there's ever going to be a time where someone who hates crowds is suddenly going to go bar hopping, and any of you with that expectation, good luck to you.

Accept who you are, this is who you are, you have to deal in the parameters in which life has dealt you. Only take your situation and slightly improve it to rough out the edges. I know a lot of you hate this aspect of yourself, but I love it, it's something that will keep me safe and help me construct the best possible life for myself devoid of unworthy people.

I guess thoughts, if you have any.

I always find your posts very interesting. For the first time I have to disagree tho I'm not really sad and neither of you, you thrive on this lol

I agree, well I think to a point, sufferers always have that awareness, it's something than you can struggle without throughout your life at different points. It's my cross, I'm always aware of it but I don't always carry it.

I disagree that we are unable to change. I disagree on the grounds that I did overcome it before. I was able to do anything I wanted, travel, go anywhere with anyone or alone, speak to strangers, travel, a main part of my job was to resolve communication issues, get people to come out of their shells, involve and generally rally people to do what needed to be done. That takes a lot of personal interaction for somebody who went through highschool without ever speaking one word in a class. I also travelled throughout Europe and Eastern Europe for a month with 5 other ppl in one car and no time to myself aswell as no personal space haha.

So I believe we can overcome, I don't think, for me at least, it's a one time effort, I think it is something we have to work at throughout life. But I guarantee the more you put in, the more you get out.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

I think it depends on your view on SA, if you see it as an obstacle it becomes a problem, if you only see it as a problem, its an obstacle you can eventually pass.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

What Nate said. BUT there is truth to the post; we have to first ACCEPT ourselves - all the faults and the good AND the problems. That isn't giving into anything. Accept and we can really move forward in change - and conquering yes, because that's controlling - not letting SA or your issues dictate YOU. It's about attitude, then action.

OVERCOMING ADVERSITY. Loads of examples of people doing this - whether physical illness, mental, socioeconomical, etc.

SA isn't created equal and there's the problem - and aside from that, some ppl are more introverted than others with SA, don't WANT to go "bar hopping" so that's not a factor, but they may THINK that's what they should be ABLE to do - and that's false.

So it's vitally important you HAVE to accept and KNOW yourself it's true. Thus, no one way or view will work for all.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Respectfully I disagree with almost everything about your post. The part about you liking your SA I have no problem with. But the rest of it I just don't agree with.Your thinking patterns are programmed into your mind. It is actually not that hard to reprogram them. The human mind can train itself and adapt itself to almost anything. Now, you said you won't get someone who doesn't like crowds, to go barhopping. No you won't, and why would you want to, if they don't like going to bars they shouldn't go. But if they want to, and they don't because they are afraid, then they can and should work to make themselves able to do it. There is really no limit to the things you can teach yourself if you work hard at it.

 

[ridicule]

I get what everyone is saying, and yes Lemur and Nate, not all cases are the same. It's different for everyone and there can be cases where someone goes 180, anything is possible in the human brain.

Respectfully I disagree with almost everything about your post. The part about you liking your SA I have no problem with. But the rest of it I just don't agree with.Your thinking patterns are programmed into your mind. It is actually not that hard to reprogram them. The human mind can train itself and adapt itself to almost anything. Now, you said you won't get someone who doesn't like crowds, to go barhopping. No you won't, and why would you want to, if they don't like going to bars they shouldn't go. But if they want to, and they don't because they are afraid, then they can and should work to make themselves able to do it. There is really no limit to the things you can teach yourself if you work hard at it.

I see where you're coming from and I agree somewhat. These changes can happen, but usually subconsciously, through a trigger or epiphany or whatever. It's not usually from "I think this, now I think something different".

 

[Summoning]

You just got yourself the answer on the first line you wrote.

Yes, those 1-5% that we can change can actually make a huge difference.

I don't think that most of us want to change our whole personality (Well, at least I don't, and the impression I get is that most of people with SA don't want it either). But those tiny 5% can make the difference between having a good life and being depressed all the time (not saying that you are ofc).

Small (big) things that we can't do with SA/shyness can actually be done with that 5% change.

It's not like we all of a sudden start to enjoy parties, crowds and public speaking.

Of course, this is my personal view on the subject, because I'm trying to change those 5.

 

[nobody123]

Who we are isnt defined by our fears but the actions that come from our decision to face them. These experiences may not conquer social anxiety but they challenge what you see as reality.

I believe in parameters too, but I believe they constantly expand from every experience gained. Through if you do truly love your current state, you may fall victim of stagnancy.

 

[panicsurvivor]

I get what everyone is saying, and yes Lemur and Nate, not all cases are the same. It's different for everyone and there can be cases where someone goes 180, anything is possible in the human brain.



I see where you're coming from and I agree somewhat. These changes can happen, but usually subconsciously, through a trigger or epiphany or whatever. It's not usually from "I think this, now I think something different".

No, you are totally right about that. Training your brain to learn new habits is hard enough, unlearning old ones is even harder. It can take years, and it is always a struggle. ::

 

[upndwn]

All this talk of "conquering" SA is just a load of BS, in my opinion. It's not as if anyone has ever chosen who they are going to be, what they like, etc. it all just..... happens. Who we are, that's who we are, and we can maybe only change 1-5%. I don't think there's ever going to be a time where someone who hates crowds is suddenly going to go bar hopping, and any of you with that expectation, good luck to you.

Accept who you are, this is who you are, you have to deal in the parameters in which life has dealt you. Only take your situation and slightly improve it to rough out the edges. I know a lot of you hate this aspect of yourself, but I love it, it's something that will keep me safe and help me construct the best possible life for myself devoid of unworthy people.

I guess thoughts, if you have any.

I respectfully have to disagree with you. I know from personal experience that you can change. Bar-hopping and SA are two completely different things the first is an interest the second a mental illness. Interests can change and mental illness can be treated and even conquered.

I used to suffer from severe SA, but after years of treatment and rehabilitation I have managed to overcome the worst of it. Now I actually enjoy being around other people and I can do stuff like bar-hopping which seemed impossible to me a few years ago.

I'm not saying that everyone that overcomes SA will like bar-hopping, but once that barrier is broken you would be amazed how your perspective on the world changes.