Confrontation

[Littlemissteacherlady]

Hey guys,

My latest CBT homework from my therapist is to find out how other people feel about confrontation and what symptoms they get.

For me, it's tight chest, heart pounding, struggle to breathe, lips trembling, shakey hands, struggle to talk. I've made a lot of progress - this used to be much worse - and it now only last for about a minute or so (depending on the situation), but this still troubles me a lot. I'm very insular in how I think - I think maybe I'm unrealistic in my expectations of myself, and I think my therapist wants to me normalise this a little.

So please...if you can help it would really be appreciated. What symptoms do you get? And how do you feel about confrontation?

xx

 

[Iluv]

When I get confronted I shut down. Usually end up weaseling my way out of it to avoid an argument. But when it first hits me I get this adrenaline rush and if I don't deal with it I get anxiety and start saying things that make no sense.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well for me, it's usually the heart racing, trembling in regards to my lips and hands, difficultly articulted my thoughts. And this really intense feeling like I'm about to cry, and usually, I get overwhelmed and actually breakdown in tears.

Though, it depends what the confrontation is about. If it's personal, then I will most definitely experience all of the above.

 

[Shyangel]

In confrontation I might get, shaky hands, a tight chest, and a adrenaline rush. I also sometimes feel like I'm about to cry. I never do though.

 

[Hoppy]

it's tight chest, heart pounding, struggle to breathe, lips trembling, shakey hands, struggle to talk.

Are you sure we are not related?

If I am being confronted, I tend to keep silent and just let the other people ramble on.

 

[PhantomPod]

My voice gets very shaky and I get a tight feeling in my throat like I'm about to cry. And I blush a lot. My face turns so red and I can't control it.

 

[KiaKaha]

I like to avoid confrontation if I can. Although sometimes it seems unavoidable - people can just be jerks sometimes.... and confrontation, just like rejection and everything else that sucks... is a part of life.

I am the first to usually back down for the sake of civillity and mutual respect, although sometimes I wonder if I was more stubborn whether or not the other person would back down first for the reasons I just mentioned. Confrontation is more of an ego thing sometimes rather than serving any real purpose.

If I am about to get in a fight (or danger rather) or a serious confrontation - my voice will shake, heart will pound I will tremble and the adrenaline will kick in.... the usual stuff. Although I have suprised myself with just how courageous I can be sometimes.

But at the end of the day, I very much am... a wuss.

 

[Littlemissteacherlady]

Thanks to all for your replies! Really helpful xxx

 

[Azael]

I don't end up saying very much at all. I lose my voice at the best of times much more when in a confrontation. In terms of physical symptoms I feel a very hot rush through my body and I become very much aware of sounds et al in a much greater way. All of my senses are on alert.

 

[Aletheia]

fail

confusion
desperation
panic

omg they don't like me
the sky will fall

 

[Griffin]

Depends on the context. If someone was threatening me, I think I'd start to get aggressive.

In work, I don't mind it. What's the worst that could happen? If people have a view, let them put it forth. I will have my own view and we'll see what happens.

It has only happened a few times, but it's not something I mind all that much. It loses friends, but the way I see it, they probably weren't friends in the first place.

 

[OceanMist]

For some reason, there are times when I like confrontations. Maybe it's because I finally get to get back at the part of society that is mean to me.

I have felt the heart racing before. I guess it really depends on how I feel. I can tell you that I like standing up to bullies now that I'm older, especially when they try to bully me.

 

[ThatOneShyKid]

I usually don't get confronted alot unless I have to confront someone. For some people I can just say a few words but it will feel awkward, and nothing more. Others I bottle up inside, anxiously wishing I could say more to them. It's weird how my mind works sometimes.. I don't really have a problem at home talking which I'll never understand :/