Confession

[Iamanocean]

Hi Well to start off I've always felt like there was more to life. I mean, I never felt content with my life because I always wanted more. I am still like that. I feel like the way I think is so different from everyone I know, because I think so deep and look at life in such a different way than others. I guess I want to feel truly happy, and haven't felt it for a while.

This is hard for me to talk about, but last year my father passed away and he was my favorite person in the world. It happened so fast and I never ever want to think about it only because I know I will become depressed and will not be motivated to do anything. The problems my friends have are so minute compared to the problem I have, and I never talk about because I truly know they will not understand. I just feel like I always want change in my life, and not just any kind of change, change that will make me truly happy. I just never seem to find that change. Will it ever happen?

I want to meet people who can relate to me.

 

[MikeyC]

Welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about your father. Losing someone close to your heart like that can be devastating.

Acquiring change can be done, but will you be happy once the change is completed? Only you can find out.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the forums.

 

[Shyangel]

I can really relate you in the sense of not fitting and being misunderstood.
True happiness is really hard to find for everyone, I'm in this boat as well.

The statement you made about your father really touches home for me.
Last year my father had 2 tumors in his brain that effected his speech and caused him to have seizures. So, everyday we were always afraid my dad would have a seizure. It was the most horrible thing I ever saw, my dad on the ground shacking.....not breathing..That vision hunts me...Thankfully my dads surgery was a success he wasn't suppose to have seizures after wards, but he still has them, which I found out in December the hard way, father on the ground again. So, now we all have to been in constant fear of him having one again. It's nerve wrecking. He's on medicine that's suppose to help prevent it..I know how you feel, I love my dad more then anyone else in the world to, he's my best friend. If anything were to happen to him I would be destroyed. I'm beyond sorry for your lose..I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through. I wish I could say something to make it better. I just want to let you know I understand and am all the sympathetic to your pain.

 

[theslowesthand]

Greetings..

I think that "true" happiness is an "inner" thing, quite independent of physical/wordly things, including people.
So if you want to feel truly happy, then the changes you will need to make are therefore of the inner/mental kind (beliefs, self-talk, life path, spirituality - those sorts of things).

I'm currently starting to get into all that stuff, with the hope that some day I wil be "immune" to all the "hazards" of the earthly existence (change, loss, deaths,..). As yet i am still very susceptible to getting upset/depressed/etc over "life stuff".

A happiness that is not just "occasional", but CONSTANT; that is the hapiness that i'm after

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear that your dad died. It's painful to lose someone close to you. But, he isn't gone. As long as you keep him alive in your heart, he'll be there, acting as your support and watching over you.

There will be change in your life, I promise. But, you have to get up and cause that change to happen. It won't just come to you. Shape your story to your choosing. Pursue what you love and that change and happiness you desire will follow. What are your hobbies?

 

[Feathers]

Hi ocean & welcome!

Sorry to hear about your dad... Luckily I still have parents, I've lost other important people in my life though, relatives and friends (some young)... It can be hard, I know...

Some people experience grief sooner in life, or more deeply... We all must go through it sometime, and learn to cope with it somehow... I didn't understand my friend when she went through grief, I understand way better now that I've experienced it first-hand too.. maybe your friends don't understand what grief is either.. You can 'put their problems in perspective' sometimes, or just find other people who know what it's like - there can be support groups and there are special grief therapists too, for some they may be helpful or not. It was helpful to me to even read Wikipedia entries about grief & grief counselling and coping with it and such...

People feel and perceive the world differently... We are all human and we go through different experiences...
It can take a long time to get over things, again this can be different for different people.. It can be harder if you loved that person very much, and/or if there might be mixed emotions or guilt or anger or such involved... (at least that is what I found personally)

Shyangel, sorry to hear about your dad too I read that in some places there are whole regions where people or even small kids might have brain tumors due to polluted environment or such, yikes!!

From your avatar, it looks like you are (both) truly young, A LOT of things can happen in the future!! (even if it doesn't feel that way right now!!)
This will sound really lame, but reading vampire books and such really helped me in the past

Take care & hope things get better!!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I'm sorry about your Dad If they are good friends they should be able to help you in some way. I mean just talking about it can help. I feel like i don't appreciate my dad sometimes, so i feel bad reading this now. There are other people who lost someone close to them as well who you could relate to. It should get better with time since a year really isn't that long ago. Maybe he's watching over you in a way? I'm not sure what you believe but yeah you never know.

 

[Twinkel<3]

welcome Ocean

Im sure here you will find new people who will try to understand how you feel, your not alone

Twinkel xxx

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Iamanocean]

Thank you every one for your support. Shyangel I hope your dad gets better...just try to spend as much time with him as you can because you are lucky you still have him

 

[Srijita52]

Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm really sorry to hear about your father. If you think a little change will make you happy, then go for it. Try to figure out what you want to change and how to do it. But also consider that happiness comes from inside and even though we can't always be happy, we can only try our best.