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springk

Well-known member
I hope you feel good again. I always believe that online world is strange, but so is the real world. I don't really know what to say but i just hope you feel alright again.
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
i think it's good that you're avoiding that situation since it seems to be in a loop. is it just one particular site or whichever one you meet someone on?

Whichever one. At the moment is some other forums. I want to use them but I don't want to see her there. I looked yesterday and saw her and I barely even looked, so of course I then think she used them but didn't send me just a short note to let me know how her doctors appointment went (I'm trying not to give details because it's a big deal for her, she's going through a lot, so it's a bit private).

I should probably be more understanding and patient and all the rest of it. This happens to me all the time though. I know that what I wrote several posts ago turned out to be coincidence, which was very unusual, but now I wonder how much it was? This girl has major reasons to stop writing for a bit, and I've tried to be there for her but she doesn't seem to even want me to be. I'm always so nice and understanding to people but then it's me who ends up hurt when they never seem to care that I'm here and that despite how bad I feel, I'm trying to be there for them. If she clicked her fingers right now I would still be there for her and forget the way I feel.

Some of what she's going through is a hell of a lot worse than what I'm feeling, but to me, I can only know how I feel. I know it's horrible and I know I'm suffering, so it is hard to put that aside and act like it's only her that matters, especially when lately she's let me down in a big way and still haven't explained it all to me. I have offered to write, text, speak - But there is a reason she gives why she won't do any of those things. So what am I supposed to think?
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
I hope you feel good again. I always believe that online world is strange, but so is the real world. I don't really know what to say but i just hope you feel alright again.

Nice of you, thank you. You're right that the online world is strange, and a lot stranger than the real world. Mixing the 2 together is a recipe for disaster most of the time.
 

gummybear22

Well-known member
while you wait for her to come around, try talking to other people on those sites to expand yourself and not be as hung up on one person; put your mind in other places
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
while you wait for her to come around, try talking to other people on those sites to expand yourself and not be as hung up on one person; put your mind in other places

I don't want to use that site because I don't want to see her. :( I'll just get stressed then if she's using it but not writing to me. I have heard something from her today but very little.

It's not that I'm hung up on one person - I just really like her and we got along like a house on fire before. So it isn't like I don't know her at all. I'm still looking for other people as friends, although I'm not really in the mood at the moment. I already have my name all over the place anyway so it's up to them to write to me if anyone wants to.

I'm feeling really weird today, probably because of the stress. I've just sat or laid in my bedroom all day, and haven't even eaten anything or gone for a walk like usual. :(
 
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Zackarydoo

Well-known member
Things have changed with her again. I'd better not get into details for her sake. It's all bad anyway and right now I don't know how to respond to her or if to at all. I may say goodbye to her as I can't deal with the stress. It isn't her fault, she's going through a lot. It's really messing with my head though.


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Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 phone using Tapatalk 2 on Android.
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
Well that's the end of that, completely, for good. That girl has now had a go at me for this and that, despite my last email to her being as nice as it could possibly be. I dared to mention a few of the things that she had done that had made me feel so bad, but I did it in such a nice way and even said I wasn't having a go at her but was trying to explain some things so she knew what I was thinking, yet she still managed to have a go at me for it. She said that she's seeing a quality of her ex Husband who made her feel guilty for things. Hmmm. It seems that she thinks she is a princess who is perfect, even when she is not, and that she can do anything she likes and look out anyone who dares to mention those things to her.

I spent around 3 days leaving her alone, with the only message to her being support ones, and I barely sent many of those unless she wrote first. I did everything I could and was sitting in my bedroom all day yesterday not eating because I was in such a state, as I really needed to hear from her and talk about some things we'd gone through, yet I still didn't bother her. Makes me a pretty nice bloke I think. Yet she still accuses me of things. She also went on about not knowing me very well and that's why she was more interested in someone else. That would be fine, so why the *beep* did she flirt with me, tell me how wonderful I am, even start making overly friendly suggestions, tell me she wishes things were different, etc, etc, etc.? She shouldn't have led me on like that, especially as she knows I'm single and find it incredibly difficult meeting new people.

She has completely screwed my head up. I've stopped holding back now and have told her exactly what I think of what she's done. The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering how much of what she told me is really genuine. I know for starters that her email address isn't her normal one, and I can't explain without giving some things away that I shouldn't do. Also she uses one name in forums and another privately - But now I'm wondering if either is real, or maybe the forum one is her real name? I just don't know. She had me convinced that she was real and genuine in every way. Every woman I get close to manages to somehow convince me that they are different from everyone else. I don't know how they all manage to wrap me around their little fingers. They never turn out to be genuine though!

All I can do is be a hermit and stay on my own and the rest of my life, and not even try to make any new friends, let alone more than friends. I won't trust anyone again (famous last words, I admit), no matter how decent and real and genuine they seem to me at first. I'll only get hurt, I always do.
 

springk

Well-known member
It hurts when someone does that. I don't think she deserves your love if she is behaving like this. You don't have to be hermit, i don't think every woman will break your trust. It is likely you have not found the one for you. I have no experience of online dating so i can't say much, but friendship is something i feel you can find online. Don't feel so bad Zackarydoo, you are a lovely person* hugs*
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
It hurts when someone does that. I don't think she deserves your love if she is behaving like this. You don't have to be hermit, i don't think every woman will break your trust. It is likely you have not found the one for you. I have no experience of online dating so i can't say much, but friendship is something i feel you can find online. Don't feel so bad Zackarydoo, you are a lovely person* hugs*

Thank you for being so nice to me with what you wrote. :)

I'm not even looking for "the one" because with the way my life is I don't think it's possible that anyone would accept me. It might not even be the best idea if I'm honest. I do want to find someone though. Just someone to be close to and enjoy their company and spend time with, even if it's on the phone or Skype and not in person due to distance.

Every time I get close to someone either they suddenly remember they prefer someone else, they get so sick they can't even write or speak, or a member of their family gets so sick that it controls their whole life. Often, like in this case, it's 2 of those things. It doesn't matter how nice they seem and how much they insist, "I'm not like the rest", they always always are. I just don't believe these things that happen can be genuine every time.

I have found a few friends over the years who are just friends and very occasionally they stick around for a while. Anything more than that though never happens.

I think I'll give Second Life another try and be one of the idiots there who hides their real life and pretends they're someone they're not. If you can't beat them, join them I guess, right?


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Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 phone using Tapatalk 2 on Android.
 

gummybear22

Well-known member
you've just run into a bunch of butt people. don't let them rub off on everyone else. some are much lovelier personality'd people. all these donks will just make an Actual nice person seem even better. don't assume everyone's gonna let you down. there's always bad apples in the barrel, but there ARE good apples. and on trees. and the tree. and apple pie. so there's always a good enough chance to find a :) person
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
you've just run into a bunch of butt people. don't let them rub off on everyone else. some are much lovelier personality'd people. all these donks will just make an Actual nice person seem even better. don't assume everyone's gonna let you down. there's always bad apples in the barrel, but there ARE good apples. and on trees. and the tree. and apple pie. so there's always a good enough chance to find a :) person

There are SO FEW people who aren't the same way though gummybear. I know there are some who aren't, like you for instance of course! These women I meet are usually very nice themselves, and this last one I still think is very nice deep down. Something just went nuts and the timing was bad and....well I don't really know what was in her mind.

So it's hard not to assume people will let me down when they mostly all do. I know what you're saying though and I am still trying.

Apples? I prefer rhubarb.
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
Hello everyone, welcome to the continuation of my DIARY. Where does this word Journal come from? Well I know of course it's an American word, and like so many other American words, younger British people have adopted it. This thread has no journals in it at all though! You can search it high and low, left and right, check under the sofa - There are no journals. :)

I've been trying to get to know new people again recently. Well I can't give up for good, even though I sometimes feel like I may as well. I joined a penpal site, Penpal World. I thought I would be able to use it a fair bit without paying, but it turned out that the review I read was completely wrong about the number of messages you could send people on a free account. I reported this to the owner who checked the review and saw that I was right about it being wrong and misleading, so he gave me a free year's full membership! I thought that was pretty cool. Hey that gives me an idea! But a naughty one, so I won't think about it any more - Only to say that I have my own websites and could do with free membership on other sites.....Ok I'll stop thinking. *grin* I have actually thought about creating my own website for friends or dating or whatever else, but I would need money to start it up and I don't have money. It doesn't cost much to host a simple website, even with lots of photos, but the problem would be the number of visitors. Of course if I wanted people to pay for it I would have to attract lots of visitors and members, and that would mean a throughput of a lot more data, so I would have to pay for better web hosting. I am interested in the idea but the other problem is that my web designing skills aren't exactly great. I've written a couple of sites that I think look good, but for a site to have options for thousands of members and each page changing depending on what's in a database, is beyond my knowledge.

Anyway, I wrote to loads of people on Penpal World and so far have barely any replies. Well that's to be expected really. If you weren't able to put your photo on there then I would get loads of letters, but if you're able to put a photo up on a profile and you don't, or I put my own photo there, then I barely get any letters. It's a fact, I'm not making it up or feeling sorry for myself or whatever else people accuse me of. It is a simple fact that always happens. Anyway, I'll keep on trying.

I WISH someone with a recognised qualification of common-sense (anyone other than me, because he never accepts anything I say), would tell my Dad that when he sneezes, yukkiness ALWAYS comes out!!! I think you have to be pretty stupid not to realise something so obvious. He is so filthy and will sneeze and then touch things, including food, without washing or even wiping his hands. It's completely disgusting and is one of the many things about him that drives me insane. It's similar with his coughing all the time, including over everything including food. It's a habit he has but he refuses to accept it and make any effort at all to stop it.

I don't know when I'll be feeling like I was when I started this diary. I was happier then I suppose. I forget why now, but it was probably something to do with getting along well with someone I liked - Or maybe I hadn't met anyone new at all for a while, so wasn't missing anyone? Who knows. I know that I just don't feel like being funny and silly any more, so of course people aren't very interested in reading this now. I don't blame them of course.

There are other forums, where I met a particular person that I've written about recently, that I just don't want to visit any more. I have her blocked but I know that on some forums, the system is stupid enough to still tell you that someone who you've blocked has written! I don't know if that's the case with those forums or not, and I don't want to stick around to find out. If I was to see that message below a post I had written, I wouldn't be able to help myself but to unblock them to read it. That would cause me a lot of stress and I just don't want to risk being in that situation. So although they are good forums with a lot of people (far more than here), I'm having to stay away.

Oh dear, this sounds so miserable doesn't it? LOL.

There are a couple of people I'm writing to though who I'm getting on really well with, and I haven't forgotten those. :) *big smile*
 

gummybear22

Well-known member
have you found any sites that don't stress putting up pictures of the account holder? i wouldn't want to meet someone there where it's a requirement or just most people choose to, cuz i'd rather talk to someone cuz they're interesting and have things to say than basing it on their looks-you aren't talking to their outside, you're talking to their inside
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
You're never forced to put your photo up but if there is the facility to, most people do and anyone who doesn't gets very few people writing to them. There is one site I used to be a member of that was for making new friends and there was no facility for adding a photo. When I first joined I was getting several new people writing to me every time I logged in! That compares to barely anyone ever writing to me on other sites where they've seen my pic. So like you said, I prefer sites where you can't put your photo up so people aren't judging me on how I look. The site I mentioned closed down unfortunately.

The way you wrote your post sounded a bit like you thought I was one of the people who judges others on their looks and won't write to someone I haven't seen. You don't think I'm like that do you? I'm always complaining about the massive majority who are like that but I'm the opposite myself.


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Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 phone using Tapatalk 2 on Android.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I joined a penpal site, Penpal World. I thought I would be able to use it a fair bit without paying, but it turned out that the review I read was completely wrong about the number of messages you could send people on a free account. I reported this to the owner who checked the review and saw that I was right about it being wrong and misleading, so he gave me a free year's full membership! I thought that was pretty cool.
That is very cool! :thumbup:

I WISH someone with a recognised qualification of common-sense (anyone other than me, because he never accepts anything I say), would tell my Dad that when he sneezes, yukkiness ALWAYS comes out!!! I think you have to be pretty stupid not to realise something so obvious. He is so filthy and will sneeze and then touch things, including food, without washing or even wiping his hands. It's completely disgusting and is one of the many things about him that drives me insane. It's similar with his coughing all the time, including over everything including food. It's a habit he has but he refuses to accept it and make any effort at all to stop it.
That's disgusting! Haha. My dad likes to sneeze without covering his mouth and he'll wipe his mouth on a tea towel sometimes. Must be a dad thing. Shit, I'll be like that if I have kids, too! :eek:
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
That is very cool! :thumbup:

I thought so too! :bigsmile: Not that I'm getting any contacts from it, expectedly.

That's disgusting! Haha. My dad likes to sneeze without covering his mouth and he'll wipe his mouth on a tea towel sometimes. Must be a dad thing. Shit, I'll be like that if I have kids, too! :eek:

I'm never going to be a Dad so luckily I'll never be doing that. ;)
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
Talking of getting things for free (see a few posts ago!), I bought a Logitech mouse back in March 2009. Long time ago huh? Well it isn't very happy any more, and in fact I've always had issues with it and it wasn't really up to the standard it should have been. One problem turned out to be software, and a total reinstall of Windows fixed it. I really hate resorting to that just to fix one problem and I very rarely do it, but I tried everything else plus more to fix it, and as the mouse was almost unusable, I didn't have anything other choice. There were still problems though that I'd had with it from the start that I never worked out a fix for. So I gave up trying to use it's additional buttons, which was annoying as that's why I bought it. I usually find it isn't worth having things sent back or asking for help on their forums because they just suggest things that everyone has tried already, and that don't fix the problem (not just Logitech but any company do this including Logitech). They'll say, "Try turning it on and off". Yea, like I haven't tried such an obvious thing. "Try resetting your computer". HUH? Like I haven't done that a hundred times since the problem started. "Try connecting it to a different USB port". OH RIGHT OF COOOUUURRRRSE! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT! LOL. If I was thick enough not to have tried those things, I wouldn't even be capable of writing on their forums.

Well the other day the mouse cursor froze completely. I was able to make it move with my finger on the sensor, but not when it's on the desk. If it was a new mouse I would say that the surface I'm using it on isn't very compatible, but I've been using it on this same desk for over 4 years so it can't be that! I wondered if its laser is starting to give up or something, maybe it's power output has diminished? I don't know if that can happen with lasers or not. Anyway, I have read many excellent comments about Logitech's customer service so I thought I'd try writing to them. I will buy a new mouse anyway as I can't wait to return mine then for a new one to arrive (probably from the USA), but if they did actually send me a replacement, then at least I could sell it and get some money back. I'm not going to return my old mouse though, as of course the fault won't occur while they test it, and I'll just look stupid then or like I'm trying it on. So I just asked where I stand with a replacement or refund being sent. I don't usually push my luck like this or even try to get guarantee replacements, as it just isn't worth the effort in my opinion. Maybe I should more often though.

I remember when my monitor broke a few years ago, and it was quite an expensive one that I needed for my photo editing. Well it was still under guarantee and it was a really awesome guarantee too, as it meant they would pick the old one up from my home and drop off a new one at the same time! I still didn't want to deal with them on the phone so that was pretty stressful, but I managed it anyway. So I got a new (well it was actually refurbished) one. My guarantee didn't start again though, and I think I only had a few months left. It wasn't that long before that one wore out as it's maximum brightness got lower and lower, and I have to have a certain brightness so I can calibrate it properly for my photos. So some parts obviously weren't replaced when they refurbished it. I had to bin it and buy a new one instead. I needed that excuse to buy a new one anyway, so I could get a lovely big wide screen one. :)

Aren't you all happy I told you that?

On the new penpal site I've been using, and getting barely any replies from, I added a comment to the start of my profile that says this..............OH NO MY MOUSE!!!! The cursor is staring to act weird again, as I was trying to highlight and copy the text from my profile! Damn thing. Well I'm definitely ordering a new one today on next day delivery. Anyway, back to my penpal site profile, it's starts like this:

* That's about 20 people written to and 1 reply. Come on, this isn't a dating site, I didn't think people would be quite as shallow about what I look like on this site. *

Teeheehee. I'm sure that won't do me many favours, huh? Well right now I don't particularly care. So please don't people tell me I'm stupid and will turn people away because I KNOW that. I just want people to read it I suppose, at least some of the shallow ones anyway, so they might feel a little guilty. I'll remove that text before long.
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
Just a little addition to my last post. :)

I changed the start of my otherwise stupendously brilliant profile on that penpal site to say this instead:


HEY, no looking to the left! This isn't a dating site ya know, but you'd think it was with the amount of replies I get to my letters. ;) I'm a really nice guy under that body of mine that I'm stuck with. That phrase, "Beauty is skin deep" is true! :)

There, that's better. I told you I wouldn't keep what I had there up for long, didn't I? You didn't believe me though, right? :giggle: I think I may keep that there too. I know it will turn some people away, but maybe anyone worth knowing will understand how I feel and why I wrote it, and will sympathise and if they would have written without that being there, they still will.

What do ya'll think please? (I'm not from southern USA but I love how you lot say "ya'll"!
 
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gummybear22

Well-known member
The way you wrote your post sounded a bit like you thought I was one of the people who judges others on their looks and won't write to someone I haven't seen. You don't think I'm like that do you? I'm always complaining about the massive majority who are like that but I'm the opposite myself.

no, when i said you aren't talking to their outside but to their inside, i meant you as the general person instead of youyou
 

Zackarydoo

Well-known member
So I ordered a new mouse and it arrived yesterday.* *squeak squeak*** I wanted one to help me finish off all my cheese, as I had so much I just couldn't get through it all. You know how life can be, right? Sometimes you have too much hatred in your world, sometimes too little love, sometimes not enough bins to fit all your rubbish into - And sometimes you just have too much cheese.

Did I say I bought it for my cheese? Sorry, slip of the fingers there. What I meant to say was that I bought it because my last one broke, as I already mentioned in a recent post. There I was, happily using my computer the other day. Everything was fine and dandy, not a care in the world and happily using my mouse. The next moment.....*gasp!!!!** It stopped working!

*fart*
Pardon me.

It got worse after my last post too.

"Hey, Geoff, did you ever get a response from Logitech?"

Funny you should ask, as yes, I did. They replied yesterday telling me that my squeaker was out of warranty but as a good will gesture because they appreciate..... Oh I don't know, they appreciate something anyway, they'll give me 35% off the cost of a new mouse! Well that was pretty cool of them. I'd already ordered a new one though from elsewhere and paid 8 quid for next day delivery! Buying direct from Logitech gives free delivery. Their prices are far higher than what I paid but I would still have saved about 18 quid. I could always return the one I bought but I'd still lose the next day delivery charge. I'm getting the sums confused in my head but the outcome would be that if I returned the one I already bought and got the discounted one from Logitech, then taking into account the 8 quid delivery charge I'll never get refunded, I'll be 9 quid better off. It's hardly worth the bother so I'm not going to do that.

"Hey Geoff, why do you keep saying quid?"

I thought you might ask that. Well I live in England and the UK pound sign doesn't always appear properly on monitors of people who have different languages setup on their computers. Quid is slang for pounds over here and it's how I often talk. Some people write GBP meaning Great Britain Pound, but I think even less people will know what it means if I was to write that.

"I think you're looking really sexy today Geoff".

Awww that's kind of you, thank you so much! You're looking pretty amazing yourself. ;)


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Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 phone using Tapatalk 2 on Android.
 
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