Change

[philly2bits]

One of my biggest problems is my unwillingness to let others know anything about me. I've hid my thoughts and emotions and opinions for so long thinking that showing them would be a sign of weakness when all it has done is drag me down. It's ironic too considering I don't much care what people actually think of me, only with what they might think of me. So if someone really doesn't like me and thinks me weak or stupid, I could care less. But if I don't know what a person thinks of me, and I have not lowered any of my walls to let them see what I'm really like, then I probably never will. The joys of AvPD

In the hopes of changing this problem before It becomes so entrenched that change will be impossible, I've decided that I'm going to act my way out of it by pretending everyone knows me, therefore I don't care what they think. Although this could blow up in my face, I'm willing to risk it if it means staying like this forever.

 

[EasySkanking]

Avoidant personality is pretty strange... I don't really get it... I think my step-brother has it though. I think it's just like social anxiety except you're not as vulnerable and more aggressive . I don't know...

Good luck with that philly.

 

[fitftw]

people freak me out too. I rarely ever look at people in the eyes and when I do it feels weird as hell. Not natural. Good luck pretending that strangers know you lol

 

[EscapeArtist]

That's my biggest problem too, hiding everything about me. It makes me feel like only my opinion about myself matters, because how would anybody else know? This sends my self-perception into limbo, extreme highs and lows, and in the end a general confusion.. You're so right! It's not what people think about me, it's what they MIGHT think about me. I'm not afraid of what they think about me, either, but I am afraid of the first moment they see the "real me", the me that even I hide from myself. I'm more afraid of them knowing what i'm thinking than them hating what i'm thinking. It's all a control game to me... I can be whatever I want to be in my own little head.

I'm a little unclear, how exactly are you planning on acting like everybody knows you? Like, admitting every thought you have and speaking what normally you would be hiding? Expressing your feelings openly with others? If so, i'm on the same path! I've been trying to do this over the last week and i've gotten into conversations again with a few old friends who thought I hated them, or had no emotions. It gets tough at some points... but it's worth it, we're in this together dude :]

 

[Darryl]

Changing the rules to suit you not avoidance...

Great news, thanks for sharing!

Regards Darryl

 

[***deleted***]

I am the same way. I hate not knowing what people think of me, but if I know they don't like I don't give a ****. I also have a problem looking people in the eye, I think people get creeped out by me.

I don't know if pretending like everyone knows you is a good idea. Sometimes I get paranoid and have delusions that I am famous and everyone knows me. It's not fun, because then I assume no one likes me because they know all the bad things that I've done.

I did read a tip that said talking to people like you know them helps with anxiety. Just as long as you don't convince yourself that you actually know everyone.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

i kinda feel the same way.. i'm not sure how to express the emotions i'm feeling inside. for example i went bowling the other day and got a strike, inside i was a little happy but on the outside i had a confused, depressed like expression :Z

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Been bowling once. I was so nervous with what felt like a thousand people behind me watching how I would perform. I was so nervous I rolled the ball into the gutter several times and left feeling defeated by a bowling ball when it was actually my mind.::

yeah especially those werid shoes.. it makes the ground feel slippery :: you should try it again sometime, just roll it slowly and it usually hits a few pins