Can't get a girlfriend? Come to the dark side

Havocan said:

I echo your statement regarding my post.

Does that mean you agree with me that your post was nonsense? 😀

Havocan said:

This isn't a universal technique, dating skills are individually learned and dealt with for each and every person.

The components of attraction are universal. Men are sexually attracted to physical beauty, women are sexually attracted to alpha male characteristics. This stuff teaches guys how to improve themselves and be attractive.

Havocan said:

Having someone writing books about all this and others believing it's a replacement for magic on how to get girls actually scares me a bit^^.

A replacement for magic? There's no magic involved in attraction, it's evolutionary psychology. This is science. What's scary about it?

no1 said: ↑

thanks for tellin me how girls can be so easily manipulated, and that they will be whores for any pick up artist.

Hey man if you want to manipulate girls, and if you consider them "whores," that's your personal issue. This stuff is not manipulation.

no1 said: ↑

Thanks, now I don't trust any woman because, at any given time there will be a pick up artist who can "f-u-c-k/kiss close" any and every woman and turn her into a whore, in 15 minutes or less.

You don't trust women? That's a ****ed up mindset to have. Men are all attracted to physical beauty, that doesn't mean we ditch our girlfriends for the next hottest girl (well, if you do, that's your personal issue). The same goes for girls. Just because you can learn how to attract a girl, doesn't mean she's going to ditch her boyfriend for the next hottest guy.

no1 said: ↑

It's ok if the book is telling me like.. an etiquette, or general rules or something on talking to girls.

Now you're getting closer to understanding what this is about.

no1 said: ↑

It's hard though because any girl can say anything you do is either harassment or sexual harassment.

Uhh, what? This isn't about sexual harassment, once again that must be a personal issue for you.

no1 said: ↑

But the idea would be to get any girl to make out with you in 15 minutes or less!? come on. isn't that asking for too much?

No. Watch someone who's good with women and see for yourself.

no1 said: ↑

it's like.. you're on cheat mode in a game. and this book supposedly tells you the 'secret codes'.

Yeah, it is kind of like the secret codes of attraction. If you consider improving yourself to be "cheat mode" that's a personal issue for you.

no1 said: ↑

it's ok to train yourself though to be good with women, if that's what you're saying.

Yes. Finally you understand?

no1 said: ↑

That should be the very least thing everyone should learn.

WHAT? Relationships are the most rewarding things in life. Are you crazy?! 😕

no1 said: ↑

But if it's your goal to be able to get any girl, and every girl? that's like saying life is linear.

Uhh, what? Life is a linear sequence of events, if that's what you mean.

no1 said: ↑

And that's exactly what one of those books say. The game is Linear.

Absolutely.

k here's a problem. I probably don't have enough time to read all these damn books, or even just one of them. So I have to suffer not fulfilling my life's purpose until I do because "im not a pick up artist", which won't happen anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, I do talk to people, but doing the cold approach is HARD when you have a blank mind and nothing comes up to make a conversation about.

I feel like my life is going nowhere until I "master" women.

no1 said: ↑

k here's a problem. I probably don't have enough time to read all these damn books, or even just one of them.

Well hey it's your life and your decision man I'm cool with that. I'm just putting this out there for the guys that want it. The Game isn't a tedious book to read - it's really fascinating and at some times hilarious. Definitely one of my favorite books.

no1 said: ↑

So I have to suffer not fulfilling my life's purpose until I do because "im not a pick up artist", which won't happen anytime soon.

Hahaha ok 😀

no1 said: ↑

Don't get me wrong, I do talk to people, but doing the cold approach is HARD when you have a blank mind and nothing comes up to make a conversation about.

Yeah, it's definitely painful at first - takes work but it's worth it. And all that conversation stuff is covered. The whole process is explained

no1 said: ↑

I feel like my life is going nowhere until I "master" women.

You feel like your life is going nowhere, but you don't "have the time" to read a book? The resources are here for you, if and when you choose to use them. The decision is yours.

I feel like Morpheus in the Matrix. Which pill are you going to take? 😀

No book or piece of advice can cure me. My anxiety is too strong. I firmly believe that my brain has some malfunction....

Argamemnon said: ↑

No book or piece of advice can cure me. My anxiety is too strong. I firmly believe that my brain has some malfunction....

So you've given up hope? I guess you're screwed for life then? I'm not proposing anything as a magic cure, but this stuff is definitely a start. And even if you don't choose this path, there are other methods out there.

If I make all these changes, aren't I doing it out of my own insecurities though? I'm happy not not saying hi to one person day, becoming obsessed with exercise, I mean isn't the point to not care what people think of you? If I make all these changes, it'll only be because I want acceptance.

Day_Tripper said: ↑

If I make all these changes, aren't I doing it out of my own insecurities though? I'm happy not not saying hi to one person day, becoming obsessed with exercise, I mean isn't the point to not care what people think of you? If I make all these changes, it'll only be because I want acceptance.

What's wrong with wanting acceptance? We're all human man. We have a deep instinctual desire to be accepted, to be loved, to be significant, to be HAPPY. So are you doing it out of insecurity? It's up to you. You can look at it however you want.

SickJoke said: ↑

So you've given up hope? I guess you're screwed for life then? I'm not proposing anything as a magic cure, but this stuff is definitely a start. And even if you don't choose this path, there are other methods out there.

Yes, I think I'm screwed. I think some people are naturally more anxious and sensitive. People like me and others here are more easily overstimulated and stressed out by external stimulation; social interaction, noise etc. It seems that our brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. We get totally overwhelmed. I'm only happy and calm when I'm alone. It's so hard to explain. I have not given up completely though.

Argamemnon said: ↑

Yes, I think I'm screwed. I think some people are naturally more anxious and sensitive. People like me and others here are more easily overstimulated and stressed out by external stimulation; social interaction, noise etc. It seems that our brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. We get totally overwhelmed. I'm only happy and calm when I'm alone. It's so hard to explain. I have not given up completely though.

Yeah, some people are genetically predisposed to be sensitive to external stimuli. That doesn't mean you're screwed. You can use that as an advantage. When you listen to someone, you can give them 1000 times more attention than the average Joe.

The average Joe's mind will be wandering off somewhere, thinking about last night's baseball game while he listens to someone. But you, with this gift of sensitivity, can make people feel so unique and important when you listen to them, because they'll have your FULL attention.

See what I mean?

SickJoke said: ↑

Yeah, some people are genetically predisposed to be sensitive to external stimuli. That doesn't mean you're screwed. You can use that as an advantage. When you listen to someone, you can give them 1000 times more attention than the average Joe.

The average Joe's mind will be wandering off somewhere, thinking about last night's baseball game while he listens to someone. But you, with this gift of sensitivity, can make people feel so unique and important when you listen to them, because they'll have your FULL attention.

See what I mean?

I so wish that was true. I can't even hear what people say due to paralyzing anxiety. I'm sorry for being negative, it has nothing to do with you or your advice. I'm just telling you the truth about my own problems...

Argamemnon said: ↑

I so wish that was true. I can't even hear what people say due to paralyzing anxiety. I'm sorry for being negative, it has nothing to do with you or your advice. I'm just telling you the truth about my own problems...

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Social anxiety cuts off external reality. It puts us in the state of "inside our head": our body is present, but it's like an empty shell. Our mind is somewhere waaaay deep inside our head. Our senses get dull - it's hard to see because everything is out of focus. It's hard to hear because everything seems quiet, except our internal brain chatter.

Sometimes I still catch myself being "inside my head." I might hear someone speak to me, but it's too quiet to understand. After lots of practice, I'm now at the point where I can immediately recognize "Hey, I'm inside my head," and BAM I snap out of it and I'm back into reality.

It takes practice, focusing on the external world. Opening our eyes and ears and really paying attention. It's hard work when we're so used to being inside our heads, but it gets easier.

Well in theory its easy,you just have or pretend to have confidence,not be afraid to talk,be above average looking, something to call a bit of attention like piercings or a tattoo and these days you actually have women approaching you,having girls interested in you or just a friend nearby will attract other girls ,I have seen it and have been told by a couple girls.

When I mean that these pua's are in it for the money, is that they pretend to offer better and better and advice as time goes on. Much of it repackaged information they already sold. That is immoral, though not necessarily illegal.

I've bought David D's stuff, and I found out that his stuff is good, but most of his work is redundant and you'll find out that it is overpriced. The way he sells it makes it very expensive.

Mystery's workshops and others are thousands of dollars. It is best to learn from them and buy their basic stuff, but in my opinion, it is redundant to be spending that much money. And they won't really care.

I've known some of these PUA's and they commonly, frequently, flat out LIE about their abilities to get women. Some of them are borderline frauds.

Bottom line is don't spend more than 100 bucks on any of that. Trust me, you won't miss out on much. You can find out on your own. I never spent thousands, but I did spend hundreds. Much of the techniques are nonsense... the concepts and main ideas are excellent; DON'T get stuck on learning specific techniques. Become a better speaker, be more outgoing, dress better, learn a hobby and you'll be alright I hope.

Rodox said:

Well in theory its easy,you just have or pretend to have confidence,not be afraid to talk,be above average looking, something to call a bit of attention like piercings or a tattoo and these days you actually have women approaching you,having girls interested in you or just a friend nearby will attract other girls ,I have seen it and have been told by a couple girls.

That might get the girl initially interested, but there's a lot more involved after that. That might be enough for the first minute or two, but a guy with no experience will get blown out after that.

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Walk said:

When I mean that these pua's are in it for the money, is that they pretend to offer better and better and advice as time goes on. Much of it repackaged information they already sold. That is immoral, though not necessarily illegal.

The guys I mentioned in the original post are legit.

Walk said:

Mystery's workshops and others are thousands of dollars. It is best to learn from them and buy their basic stuff, but in my opinion, it is redundant to be spending that much money. And they won't really care.

That's because a workshop is the single best way to learn. There's a seminar session, and then you actually go in field with the experts, and they demonstrate their skills live. Then they watch you and critique you. It doesn't get any more personal than that.

Walk said:

I've known some of these PUA's and they commonly, frequently, flat out LIE about their abilities to get women. Some of them are borderline frauds.

OK? Do you know about Venusian Arts and Real Social Dynamics? Those are the companies I named because they're legit.

Walk said:

Bottom line is don't spend more than 100 bucks on any of that. Trust me, you won't miss out on much. You can find out on your own.

It depends on the individual. Some guys need more help than others.

Walk said:

Become a better speaker, be more outgoing, dress better, learn a hobby and you'll be alright I hope.

This stuff will help them to become a better speaker, to be more outgoing, and even advice on how to dress better.

SickJoke said: ↑

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Social anxiety cuts off external reality. It puts us in the state of "inside our head": our body is present, but it's like an empty shell. Our mind is somewhere waaaay deep inside our head. Our senses get dull - it's hard to see because everything is out of focus. It's hard to hear because everything seems quiet, except our internal brain chatter.

Sometimes I still catch myself being "inside my head." I might hear someone speak to me, but it's too quiet to understand. After lots of practice, I'm now at the point where I can immediately recognize "Hey, I'm inside my head," and BAM I snap out of it and I'm back into reality.

It takes practice, focusing on the external world. Opening our eyes and ears and really paying attention. It's hard work when we're so used to being inside our heads, but it gets easier.

ARE YOU FOR REAL??

i say this because i do it all the time at work, i can talk to people but i feel disconnected when i talk to them even tho i can still laugh at jokes and woteva. i thought that that part was just a part of me, nothing to do with S.A...
learn something new everyday aye

newbie said: ↑

ARE YOU FOR REAL??

i say this because i do it all the time at work, i can talk to people but i feel disconnected when i talk to them even tho i can still laugh at jokes and woteva. i thought that that part was just a part of me, nothing to do with S.A...
learn something new everyday aye

HAHAHA yeah man exactly 😀

so this leads me to another question..
have any of you, because of this deep in head or daydreaming...
found your self not thinking of what to do at the job??
like for me once i focus into something i like i do it well
but for other times when i have to clean or boring shit like that, because i'm deep in my head i find that i walk and half way through realise i'm going the wrong way. ever happend to you?

newbie said: ↑

so this leads me to another question..
have any of you, because of this deep in head or daydreaming...
found your self not thinking of what to do at the job??
like for me once i focus into something i like i do it well
but for other times when i have to clean or boring shit like that, because i'm deep in my head i find that i walk and half way through realise i'm going the wrong way. ever happend to you?

Ahaha yeah 😀

I would be putting my shoes on in the gym locker room, and then realize I hadn't put my pants on yet, little things like that 😀

But yeah over time I've gotten a real strong hold on reality, I don't space out much anymore.

all this proves i'm not pretending with S.A

sickjoke how many accomplishments have you acheive in regards to going against your S.A symtoms?