Can't get a girlfriend? Come to the dark side

[Chod77]

Hahahahahahaha nice. This photo cracks me up. I wonder how they got them to do that all at the same time.

 

[SickJoke]

Hahahahahahaha nice. This photo cracks me up. I wonder how they got them to do that all at the same time.

Can you take it to PM's? Really, you didn't need to clutter this thread with that picture again. This is an important topic that I'm passionate about: LIFE. Please edit your post and remove the picture.

 

[rand0m_guy]

No problem.

Just haven't enjoyed seeing you get flamed for starting (one of the only positive) threads on the site lately. Even though you've certainly held your own - and then some.

Meh. Some people seem to be content to wallow in self-pity forever more, want to let the world know about how much they're suffering, but still aren't prepared to do anything about it.

I guess I can consider myself lucky for always wanting to be pro-active when it comes to wanting to help myself. I appreciate that if you're extremely depressed it can be very hard to help yourself, I know, I've been there - but this thread isn't really aimed at those people. I don't think, anyway.

Can't see a problem myself with any of this:

Man enjoys attracting woman/enjoying sex & possible relationship with said women

+

Women enjoys being attracted to man/enjoying sex and possible relationship with said man

= More happiness for both parties? Yep.

Everyone's a winner as far as I can see.

 

[SickJoke]

No problem.

Just haven't enjoyed seeing you get flamed for starting (one of the only positive) threads on the site lately. Even though you've certainly held your own - and then some.

Yeah, right off the bat I was getting flamed. When I saw the first reply I was like "WTF, this is a positive thread, I don't get it... " And then it just kept coming. Thankfully a few sensible people replied as well.

Meh. Some people seem to be content to wallow in self-pity forever more, want to let the world know about how much they're suffering, but still aren't prepared to do anything about it.

Exactly, that was me for a big part of my life. And that is a dangerous ****ing attitude to have, because it ends up spiraling out and all hope seems lost. I've been there, I know how it is when suicide seems like the only logical decision. When you hit rock bottom 2 things can happen: you give up, or you snap out of it. I just hope this thread inspires some guys to snap out of it.

I guess I can consider myself lucky for always wanting to be pro-active when it comes to wanting to help myself. I appreciate that if you're extremely depressed it can be very hard to help yourself, I know, I've been there

Yeah, that's probably the most useful quality you can have: being proactive and helping yourself. Especially in today's society where we're conditioned to point the finger, look for outside causes, and go with the bullshit quick-fix magic pills.

Can't see a problem myself with any of this:

Man enjoys attracting woman/enjoying sex & possible relationship with said women

+

Women enjoys being attracted to man/enjoying sex and possible relationship with said man

= More happiness for both parties? Yep.

Everyone's a winner as far as I can see.

Hahaha, exactly! I can't see why so many people in this thread have a problem with that.

 

[Doomed2Die]

Do you believe in relationships without seduction or focus on sexual attraction Sickjoke?

Long term relationships from this kind of thing are fragile at best. As the attraction is wholly superficial and skin deep.

As some others have said, you dont need to learn a skill to talk to the opposite sex. It's a cultural trapping.

 

[SickJoke]

Do you believe in relationships without seduction or focus on sexual attraction Sickjoke?

Absolutely not. If there's no sexual attraction, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Long term relationships from this kind of thing are fragile at best.

What kind of thing? Attraction?

As the attraction is wholly superficial and skin deep.

Skin deep? More like "hardwired into our brains."

As some others have said, you dont need to learn a skill to talk to the opposite sex. It's a cultural trapping.

As I have replied to those others: you DO need to learn the skill. Either you learn it by experience, or you observe it. This is for those guys who don't have the experience.

 

[Danfalc]

Yeah, right off the bat I was getting flamed. When I saw the first reply I was like "WTF, this is a positive thread, I don't get it... " And then it just kept coming. Thankfully a few sensible people replied as well..

It probaly didnt help you told the first person who had a different opinion that he was spewing bullshit I know your passionate about this and your trying to help people with your personal experiences,but people are always going to have different opinions Try not to take it personaly.

 

[BigShrimp]

Yeah, it shows they have no idea what they're talking about

I can see why you got your ass booted off of the other site.

People don't have to be wallowing in self-pity to not want to try the PUA crap. I know I wouldn't want a women who would fall for it. And, yes, I do have a girlfriend, even though I don't have very good social skills.

I'm not saying that there isn't some pieces of good advice in there, but I don't blame anybody for not wanting buy into the overall PUA message. To each his own.

Thank you!

 

[Riiya]

It pisses you off that guys are improving their lives and learning how to interact with women?

No, it pisses me off that guys want to use this book mostly to get laid. From I've gathered, "improving lives" here means having sex with as many girls as possible while having no real long-term commitment to them. I may not be an expert like you obviously are, but I think I'm familiar enough with the female mind to know what most of us find a major turn-off. Haven't you read that thread where one girl even considers going lesbian because "most guys" are jerks? Sure most guys aren't jerks, but people like you certainly make it seem impossible to believe.

Yeah, it shows they have no idea what they're talking about

Whatever, dude. Charm the girls you meet at nightclubs with your so-suave techniques and have them fall heads over heels for you, I'm just glad some of us are not part of the problem.

 

[SickJoke]

It probaly didnt help you told the first person who had a different opinion that he was spewing bullshit

HAHAHA You may have a point there, but was true! He ignored the 500 5-star reviews, based his opinion only off the 25 1-star reviews, and claimed to know what the book is about

I know your passionate about this and your trying to help people with your personal experiences,and it must seem frustrating that people seem to be throwing stuff back in your face,but people are always going to have different opinions Try not to take it personaly if you can help it.

Yeah exactly... it's just frustrating because people are judging this stuff without knowing what it's all about.

---

People don't have to be wallowing in self-pity to not want to try the PUA crap.

I never said they did! Straw man argument!

I know I wouldn't want a women who would fall for it.

There's nothing to "fall for." This is what guys who are naturally good with women DO without even knowing it. It's been broken down to a science so the not-so-lucky guys can learn it and have a chance at a little thing called LIFE.

And, yes, I do have a girlfriend, even though I don't have very good social skills.

That's good, congratulations on your success.

I'm not saying that there isn't some pieces of good advice in there, but I don't blame anybody for not wanting buy into the overall PUA message. To each his own.

To each his own, exactly. If guys want to learn how to be good with women, this is a resource.

 

[SickJoke]

No, it pisses me off that guys want to use this book mostly to get laid.

So what? They're entitled to it. It's part of being human.

From I've gathered, "improving lives" here means having sex with as many girls as possible while having no real long-term commitment to them.

Where'd you gather that? It's up to the individual to decide how he uses these tools. If he wants a long-term relationship, he can use this stuff to get one.

I may not be an expert like you obviously are, but I think I'm familiar enough with the female mind to know what most of us find a major turn-off.

Maybe...

Haven't you read that thread where one girl even considers going lesbian because "most guys" are jerks?

Yeah I read that thread actually. It bears no meaning on the content of this material. That's just one female and her personal experiences.

Sure most guys aren't jerks, but people like you certainly make it seem impossible to believe.

OUCH!

Whatever, dude. Charm the girls you meet at nightclubs with your so-suave techniques and have them fall heads over heels for you, I'm just glad some of us are not part of the problem.

Men and women getting together in night clubs is a problem? I call it "enjoying life." Besides, these techniques don't just work in night clubs. The laws of attraction are universal.

 

[worrywort]

Great advice again sickjoke.....I definitely don't like the idea of manipulating anybody....but then I don't think that's what this is all about.

the reason why I like this advice is because so often I'll be out in public, sitting on the train, whatever, and I'll notice soooo many interesting people around me...not just women.....and I think about all the possible, wonderful connections and relationships I could be forming with all these fascinating people......and yet I never open my mouth!......there's this huge invisible social wall that say's you can't just go up and talk to strangers......but why not?

most of these tips sound like ways to make the other person feel comfortable and special and respected....which can only be a good thing in my book....anything that can deepen my understanding of social psychology so that I can connect with other human beings better has got to be a good thing.....so long as I never use it manipulatively and am always totally respecting of the other person's freedom.

.....man, this girlfriend issue really bugs me sometimes.....I hope I don't regret never having a girlfriend too much when I'm older.

 

[cosmosis]

It's not so much the information that bothers people, its your adamant belief that everyone who has social anxiety needs it. That some how you see us as people who just 'don't get it' or are not yet up to your level of understanding yet. You give alot of good information and help, but even someone so experienced can learn from others. Maybe you don't realize how diverse, intelligent and experienced most of us are.

Can't you see that this isn't for everyone? It's not about us not understanding nor trying to win an argument with semantics. Did you need experience, knowledge and trial and error with your 1st friend growing up? Of course not, it just happened because of common interests. Real relationships happen naturally and it can be extremely deep and real the 1st time around. Maybe understand that for some of us its just not what we want even if there wasn't anxiety.

 

[seekeroftruth]

...

I've perused the thread, haven't read it all, I have heard of these techniques before and I think the only thing that can be judged about it is the intention of the person using it. The horny son'a bitch who wants to get laid could do so with these techniques, the person that just wants to meet new people can use them too, no harm no foul.

 

[rand0m_guy]

Gonna go round and round, this is.

IMO the thread got off to a bad start with references to sex in the opening post and attempts by the OP to bring humour into the subject - nothing wrong with that - he's just being himself. Unless things get personal of course.

Men are gonna get frustrated with it 'cause they think it's all out of their grasp with their current mindset, and women wont like it 'cause they just think it's one big mind game to for men to get sex. Obviously sex could be a by-product of it all eventually, but as the OP has repeatedly said, it's just tools to help you interact with women - what comes after that is down to the individual.

(Some) men who have had (acute) SAD their whole life with almost certainly not have the needed tools to attract women with anything other than their looks - and as the onus is normally on the man to do the attracting - this stuff can help said men.

 

[Danfalc]

HAHAHA You may have a point there, but was true! He ignored the 500 5-star reviews, based his opinion only off the 25 1-star reviews, and claimed to know what the book is about .

Still probaly didnt help the situation It sounds like he just had a bad experience with simlar stuff I think thats all he was getting at.Im trying to stay as impartial in this as i can.And i really dont know enough about the subject anyway even if i did want to get involved

I just dont wanna see this turning into a slanging match anymore than it already has done is all.

 

[SickJoke]

Great advice again sickjoke.....I definitely don't like the idea of manipulating anybody....but then I don't think that's what this is all about.

the reason why I like this advice is because so often I'll be out in public, sitting on the train, whatever, and I'll notice soooo many interesting people around me...not just women.....and I think about all the possible, wonderful connections and relationships I could be forming with all these fascinating people......and yet I never open my mouth!......there's this huge invisible social wall that say's you can't just go up and talk to strangers......but why not?

most of these tips sound like ways to make the other person feel comfortable and special and respected....which can only be a good thing in my book....anything that can deepen my understanding of social psychology so that I can connect with other human beings better has got to be a good thing.....so long as I never use it manipulatively and am always totally respecting of the other person's freedom.

.....man, this girlfriend issue really bugs me sometimes.....I hope I don't regret never having a girlfriend too much when I'm older.

Thank you!!!

---

It's not so much the information that bothers people, its your adamant belief that everyone who has social anxiety needs it.

I don't hold that belief! If someone wants to learn how to be good with women, this is a resource.

That some how you see us as people who just 'don't get it' or are not yet up to your level of understanding yet.

That may be the case, or it may be a difference of opinions. Personally, I base my opinions on facts and evidence - science. Evolutionary psychology is science.

You give alot of good information and help, but even someone so experienced can learn from others.

I wholeheartedly agree.

Maybe you don't realize how diverse, intelligent and experienced most of us are.

Or maybe not. I absolutely recognize the diversity of the people on this forum. And I'm sure there are plenty of intelligent, experienced people here.

Can't you see that this isn't for everyone?

Yes.

It's not about us not understanding nor trying to win an argument with semantics.

Of course not. I'm simply expressing my opinions, which are in fact, based on scientific evidence.

Did you need experience, knowledge and trial and error with your 1st friend growing up? Of course not, it just happened because of common interests.

That WAS the experience itself. A shitload of guys have virtually no relationship experience with women.

Real relationships happen naturally and it can be extremely deep and real the 1st time around.

I don't deny that that happens. Unfortunately, there is a 50% divorce rate in America, and there's no telling how many more unhappy relationships there are.

Maybe understand that for some of us its just not what we want even if there wasn't anxiety.

That's fine! That doesn't change the fact that this WORKS!

 

[SickJoke]

I've perused the thread, haven't read it all, I have heard of these techniques before and I think the only thing that can be judged about it is the intention of the person using it. The horny son'a bitch who wants to get laid could do so with these techniques, the person that just wants to meet new people can use them too, no harm no foul.

The techniques work. The individual's motivation is his own.

 

[Havocan]

That's what I think of your post: nonsense

I echo your statement regarding my post. This isn't a universal technique, dating skills are individually learned and dealt with for each and every person. Having someone writing books about all this and others believing it's a replacement for magic on how to get girls actually scares me a bit^^.

 

[no1]

thanks for tellin me how girls can be so easily manipulated, and that they will be whores for any pick up artist. Thanks, now I don't trust any woman because, at any given time there will be a pick up artist who can "f-u-c-k/kiss close" any and every woman and turn her into a whore, in 15 minutes or less.

It's ok if the book is telling me like.. an etiquette, or general rules or something on talking to girls. It's hard though because any girl can say anything you do is either harassment or sexual harassment.

But the idea would be to get any girl to make out with you in 15 minutes or less!? come on. isn't that asking for too much?

it's like.. you're on cheat mode in a game. and this book supposedly tells you the 'secret codes'.

it's ok to train yourself though to be good with women, if that's what you're saying.

That should be the very least thing everyone should learn. But if it's your goal to be able to get any girl, and every girl? that's like saying life is linear.

And that's exactly what one of those books say. The game is Linear.