Can this mean that I might be really ugly?

[andropen]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here so maybe it's not in the right place, I was not sure where to post it. Anyway, moving on to my post..

All the time, it seems like people are intentionally avoiding eye contact with me, or ignore me. Can this be a sign that I'm ugly?

I personally don't like my appearance so much, but no one has ever said to me that I'm ugly. I am a 19 years old male.

Thanks in before for any answers.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah can relate there. Ah don't like ma own appearance much, either.

Though, am a bearded, stout, brown-skinned fella. Who looks Muslim or a Paki * - which am no.

People might just be intimidated by ye... :question: :idontknow:

Ugly depends on how ye look and feel aboot yerself, anyway.

** Just to clarify I attach no derogatory intent or offence by my use of that word. It's just, ye hear it enough times growing up and it becomes nothin'. Still sorry if I upset anybuddy by using it. **

 

[Sacrament]

Do you think they're avoiding eye contact or ignoring you, or are they factually doing that? If they are, ask them why. You never know if they're shy. A lot of people feel uncomfortable with eye contact.

 

[andropen]

It's not one individual person, but people in general, does seem to really avoid making eye contact with me.

People I don't know, strangers, people that seem to have it easy with eye contact with others. I don't feel so bad about it because I know I can't or don't want to control what others are doing but I always think it's strange, especially when it's people I have never seen before.

Sometimes I feel better about my appearance than others. But at times where I feel the worst about my appearance, the thought "maybe I'm just too ugly to look at" comes up and that doesn't feel good.

People being intimidated by me.. would not understand why if that's the case.
I'm not really feeling shy, I often feel quite content and confident but I am not super outgoing, maybe that's a part of it.

Thanks for your answers.

 

[Razzlecherry]

People are weird, most are *******s, unless you have a silver tongue or look like Ryan Gosling, no one cares. It's the reality. I wouldn't say you're ugly, but probably average and possibly above average. Unfortunately it's not enough to garner the reaction many of us desire. Blame Hollywood or your losing genetic powerball ticket.

 

[andropen]

I see what you mean. Thanks for your answer.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

There is a lot of reason why strangers in general would avoid making eye contact with you, including: Having an intimidating look, having a big stature, dressing unconventionally, giving off a negative vibe, looking awkward, being deformed, etc.

Honestly I don't think being ugly would be a reason why people in general would avoid making eye contact with you, unless half your face has been burned in a tragic accident or something of that magnitude.

 

[andropen]

Thanks for your thoughts on this topic.

That's very relieving if it's not my appearance. I feel in greater "control" over improving for example awkwardness than my appearance, if you know what I mean. And no, nothing like that, my face is pretty "clean" for lack of better words.

Sometimes I don't feel so confident over my body language, for example I think I might look a bit stiff when I walk and are overly self conscious.

 

[Megaten]

Also I think another thing is people might feel obligated to speak to someone if they make eye contact. Kinda like when you pass that guy at the mall selling cologne samples, soon as you make eye contact with him he starts trying to sell you stuff lol. Anyways it happens to me all the time, until the occasional person DOES look at smile and Im like "Oh crap!". If you watch people you'll see that a lot of people are rarely looking around at others. They're usually looking into a phone, listening to music and generally doing all they can to not interact with strangers.

 

[andropen]

I see what you mean. Thanks!

 

[deleteduser50890]

Nobody is ugly, only society is.

 

[Zao]

Maybe you just look scary? This is more about safety than attraction try to smile and look comfortable.

 

[andropen]

Look scary, ok I translate that as being ugly :/

People next to me can talk about me, like saying good things about me, and at the same time avoiding looking at me, it's very strange.

If it isn't that I'm super ugly, like too ugly to even look at, then I don't know what it is.

 

[S_Spartan]

People are weird, most are *******s, unless you have a silver tongue or look like Ryan Gosling, no one cares. It's the reality. I wouldn't say you're ugly, but probably average and possibly above average. Unfortunately it's not enough to garner the reaction many of us desire. Blame Hollywood or your losing genetic powerball ticket.

This is very true. Average just isn't good enough anymore for average people. Kinda funny in a ****ed up kind of way...lol...and one thing is for sure...this society is ****ed up!

 

[Megaten]

Look scary, ok I translate that as being ugly :/

People next to me can talk about me, like saying good things about me, and at the same time avoiding looking at me, it's very strange.

If it isn't that I'm super ugly, like too ugly to even look at, then I don't know what it is.

No to be honest if a person was truly horrific looking, it would get more stares from people than looking away. Especially from children. Anyways, staring into someone's eyes too steady can be unconsciously perceived as a sign of aggression. This is true for most mammals and true for us too. So even if youre being casual, and youre locking eyes for too long, some people will automatically "submit" and avert their eyes. Im a pretty tall guy, so I try my best not to burn holes into people with my gaze while talking to them as Ive gotten that same reaction.

 

[andropen]

I don't know. I never get stares from anyone or children. But I'm also not that happy with my appearance. For example at my job, on meetings, it seems like my co-workers are intentionally really avoiding looking at me, even when they kind of talk about me. It's very strange and I don't know how to react to it or what to think.

 

[ryan2022]

Hi, I've noticed that people do that the odd time to me too. I don't think I'm ugly, but I wonder if it's an intensity.

I've read that in todays society, prolonged eye contact is becoming less and less. It's sad, but also something to not take personally. No one wants conflict, and everyone has become too busy to interact.

Just something to think about, it's become well documented. I'm actually surprised when someone makes prolonged eye contact. It's nice, but rare.

 

[Requiescat]

People in general each have their own life to tend to with differing perspectives, interpretations of their surroundings and problems to contend with. Most people tend to just get on with what they are doing with blinkers. I see alot of people that I know are considered attractive by most and few people pay attention to them. Sometimes these people believe everyone is looking at them anyway - my cousing is like that. I wouldn't read too much into this. There are many things you can do to get people to react better to you irrespective of your looks though. I would recommend reading up on body language. In spite of being quite below average as far as aesthetics are concerned, I can project enough of a strong and positive presence to get people's attention and even have them smile! This with consistency with either gender. In days gone by when I used to sink within myself it was quite a different matter completely. People don't have to consider you a potential mate with perfect features to respond positively to you.

 

[BlazeBlue]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here so maybe it's not in the right place, I was not sure where to post it. Anyway, moving on to my post..

All the time, it seems like people are intentionally avoiding eye contact with me, or ignore me. Can this be a sign that I'm ugly?

I personally don't like my appearance so much, but no one has ever said to me that I'm ugly. I am a 19 years old male.

Thanks in before for any answers.

Most people don't have the reason to look at you in the eyes if they have no business with you (such as people walking by or random people at restaurants.) If you are speaking to someone and they're avoiding eye contact with you, perhaps, the person is a shy person too. Don't take it too hard on yourself and think that you're ugly when you have yet understood the real reason behind their avoidance of eye contact. Sometimes, if you continue staring at the person while speaking to them, it can also make them feel uncomfortable. If that's the case, you can try adverting your gaze to somewhere else on their face such as their eyebrows or their forehead. It'll soften the gaze and put both you and the person at ease. So good luck and don't beat yourself up. Cheers!

 

[andropen]

Thanks for your input.

Today I took the bus to work, and it was full of kids, all which seemingly avoided looking at me. I don't know what to think about that. I am not feeling that bad about it because it's outside of my control, but I just think it's strange and would want to know why.
ETA: I don't mean just eye contact, but everyone seems to not want to look at me or in my direction, it's so strange. They don't seem scared or shy or disguesed by me, they just "ignore" me.