bumping into someone you know.

[Kiwong]

I feel the same way. I hurry around the shops hoping not to bump into anyone. It is the problem with living in a town (it calls itself a city), the chances are you will bump into someone. Living in this town is like being in a gold fish bowl, I wonder sometimes how many people think they know me, and how widely my anxiety has been misrepresented.

I long for the anonymity of the big city, where I can get lost in the crowd.

I've been called names by cyclists I don't even know, I've heard people gossip about me that I've never spoken too, I've seen people mumble at me that work in some of the shops. I hate this poisonous place. I've stood by while people talk about me, snipe at me, made the most horrible accusations, while I suffer silent deaths inside.

I hate this small minded red necked town and everything it stands for. I voted informal in the recent state election, because I don't give a rats about this place, the best thing could happen to it is get sucked up into a black hole.

 

[HeadFace]

Oh. Definetly. And the town I live in is quite small. So I see plenty of people from school, and random people I know/knew.
The reason we freak out, I think, is because these aren't one of the social situations we plan out in our head. For example...
If I see them in a classroom, I can just do some simple small talk (wheater. homework. etc.) and I know exactly what to say.
Maybe I see them at a planned lunch or hang out, we've probably already thought about it abunch so it won't be awkward.
Etc...
Or maybe it's just that we don't feel comfortable with them in general xD
For me it's both, basically. If I see someone I'm not too comfortable with or am distant with, then it's basically the "hide... casually" thing. To be honest, it's gotten so bad that my knee-jerk reaction is to just completely turn around. Change directions. Walk the opposite way. Wait for them to leave, then continue on with whatever I was doing.

 

[Shant]

Yeah, I just kind of draw attention completely away from myself, look the opposite direction from them, ignore them, and stealthily hide or avoid them, and hopefully, they won't notice me.

Oh avoidance, yay...

 

[Gerdje]

Yeah, can definatelly relate to this. Even if it's that hard do just do some shopping, and accompanied by a lot of stress and awkwardness, among all those thoughts, there's always the thought "Well, they're all strangers, they're all busy doing their own thing, and they wont notice that me much and how I act".
When I see someone I know, it's imedeatelly the idea that now so much more focus is on me. I'm really starting to act by rapidly turning another row in the shop, and sneakily trying to "stay out of sight"....

 

[Paahi]

I avoid that as much as I can. There are so many expectations.

 

[crunch-yogurt]

I really hate this, nothing worst that walking down the street and just ahead you see someone you knew at one stage but havent seen or talked to in a while. I always start thinking will they recognise me, should I say hello or just keep my head down and keep walking. Theres been a few times where I crossed the road to avoid them. It nearly always happens, when ever I go out I allways tend to see someone I know.

 

[pebblesdundee]

I just got back from a walk with the dog, and a kid, my age, rode up to me on his bike and really enthusiastically said hi. We used to be best mates years ago apparently. That was so embarrassing, I just wanted to walk on but he kept saying "don't you remember me and stuff like that." So in my opinion, bumping into someone who knows you, but not vice versa, thats far worse than someone you do know. I was having a nice evening, and now all I can think Is FML.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I recently ran into someone I wasn't expecting to see. It was crazy because he's changed so much that I hardly recognized him. I know that I don't want to run into him again, though. I don't really like running into people I know. Just yesterday, on my way home, I ran into someone else I haven't seen in a long time and really didn't want to see her. It was too late to turn around and walk the other way, though.

 

[deleted user 1]

I always avoid people I know. I live in a smallish town, so that can be in some ways a very difficult ideal to maintain though.

 

[GreenEyedRedHead]

I can relate. One time I turned a corner at the grocery store and saw my grandfather in the next isle. He was looking down at the shelf and didn't see me. I actually turned the other way and avoided my own grandfather! I went from totally relaxed to anxiety attack in two seconds. Don't know why this happens, but whenever I go out, it helps a little if beforehand you think about seeing someone you know. If I expect it to happen, it's a little less scary when it does. Hope this helps!

 

[Nanita]

Yep, I know that one... bumping into someone you know... classic, right...
Some people I guess are okay to bump into. But mostly it´s irritating. The ultra worst thing is if someone asks those annoying questions like "so what do you do?" (= what job do you have / which exciting education are you studying).
Sometimes I make up something, to make it easier for them. Sometimes I just say "not much". And they get that desperate lost look in the face ("how surreal, she doesn´t have a job nor a plan").
I hate when people ask "what do you do" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it!

 

[Alejandro]

i can definitely relate to this. With strangers, you can think of any excuse to get out of the situation. With people who know you, you can't say "my friend is waiting for me" for example.

 

[NewtoThis]

I just got back from a walk with the dog, and a kid, my age, rode up to me on his bike and really enthusiastically said hi. We used to be best mates years ago apparently. That was so embarrassing, I just wanted to walk on but he kept saying "don't you remember me and stuff like that." So in my opinion, bumping into someone who knows you, but not vice versa, thats far worse than someone you do know. I was having a nice evening, and now all I can think Is FML.

That happened to me last year, some girl who was apparently from my high school knew my name and everything but I had absolutely no idea who she was. I kept stumbling around questions to figure out her identity and felt like a total jerk for not knowing her.

Replayed that failure of a conversation a couple times... Ah well.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

It’s not bad if they surprise me, because then I don’t have time to over-think things and come up with all the possible horrible things that could happen if I start talking to them. It usually goes well and I get to slip back into who I used to be for a few minutes. But if I see them first, it’s usually a no-go, unless I’m just having a really good (low-anxiety) day.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

It’s not bad if they surprise me, because then I don’t have time to over-think things and come up with all the possible horrible things that could happen if I start talking to them. It usually goes well and I get to slip back into who I used to be for a few minutes. But if I see them first, it’s usually a no-go, unless I’m just having a really good (low-anxiety) day.

You know the very same thing happens to me. A few days ago I was in a mall getting some lunch, when suddenly someone slaps me in the stomach. Being surprised, I looked around and it was someone from my class who had also been getting some food. Because I didn't have time to think, I didn't feel at all nervous or anxious. Given the same situation where I see someone first, then that is when the anxiety kicks in.