Being Unfavoured by Parents

[TheWhitePaladin]

Being Unfavoured by Parents/Not getting enough attention from Parents

Hi all

Sooo...it's been a while since i posted here though I check the forums occasionally to see what's up.
Buuut...lately i've become so depressed due to this problem I have , as you read the title i am so very much upset and bothered by the fact that my parents favour my sister over me. I mean it's not like they give her ALL the attention and stuff but lets say they give a huge amount of it to her.

I mean basically 99% of the time they take her side when we're arguing over something whether it's my fault or hers , be nice to her and forgive her easily when she does something that my parents disagree to and etc... .
But you know what the funny thing is; she's the one who always disagree and argue with them , she's the one who always complains about most of the things , she's the one my parents most of the time get mad at but of course forgive her right away and in general she's the one who is a crazy rebel ( i'm even a more crazier rebel but atleast i don't act on it ).

I understand that she's older than me (she's in her twentys) and that she needs more attention and all but seriously this WAY over the line.
Perhaps let me give you an example:
You see , she sometimes loses her personal stuff (probably usually depends on the thing ) like her keys , her ID cards , her driver license and many more stuff which I don't remember but mostly her phones. she lost 2 of great phones which was a HTC HD 2 and a Vivaz pro ( aren't the phones in the world now but were really great and cool back in the symbian and early pocket pc days ) she lost the first one in a restaurant because she forgot to pick it up ( was gone when she realized and went back to get it ) and the other one...well...she dropped it between the gap od the large stones/stromatolites at the beach. :applause:
her current phone was a nokia c3 whom my aunt gave her and which she luckily haven't lost the phone up to now.

But yet my dad got her a new iPhone 5 for her birthday. :thumbdown:
I got a Galaxy note 1 for my birthday which i asked for it and had to pay more than half of it with doing chores and all and guess what; a few months later he took it away from me becasue he wanted to use it for himself and said i didn't need a phone and needed to focus on studying and etc... and hooked me up with his crap sh*tty Htc sensation which it's finger touch is pretty f*cked up and the phone is unusable because of it.
My dad thinks you have to 'earn' everything in life and 'work hard' for it to get it , but i wonder why this...this...'rule' doesn't apply to my sister.

Now I don't expect my parents to get me an iPhone for me but atleast let me have my own laptop for personal use , homework and of course GAMING.
I don't expect them to give me Allowance equal to the salary of lionel messi but at least to an amount that i can buy snack everyday at school.
I don't even expect them to understand that I have different point of views in life and education and don't think that being an average student and not the best 'A++ kind' (No offence to anyone who feels offended) is gonna ruin your life and preventing you from having a job , a wife and in general a future.
All I want the attention , appreciation and the freedom I deserve to have.

I always try to be the good son and impress them and make them happy but unfortunately it's not working and that has made me so angry that I argue with them over the simplest things and that worsens the situation even more... :crying:
I don't hate my family I love them very very very...(goes on and on and to infinity and beyond ) much but i feel like they're hurting me instead of loving.
For some reasons I don't know, my parents don't trust me while it is my sister who mess up most of the time and yet they forgive and trust her and give her WAY more than she deserves.
I had this problem before but always told myself hey don't worry they'll give you attention they'll give you credit just be patience but...THAT'S IT I CAN'T TAKE IT NO LONGER. It has gone to the point where it's dealing a great damage to my life.
How can I stop this? How can I make them realize I am in my teen years and I F*CKING NEED MORE ATTENTION?
And please don't tell me to talk to them , it hasn't worked before and it ain't gonna this time 'cause they don't understand me... they never do.
Have a lot more to say but... I don't know how to explain and put them in words.

sorry for the wall of text and thank you for taking your time and reading it.

Thanks in advance.
Pally

 

[MikeyC]

I was about to mention that you should talk to them, but you said they've tried. You said that they don't understand you - what do you mean by that? Perhaps you're not being specific enough when you try to tell them your problems you're having. Tell them in very direct terms that you're not getting enough attention, but try not to put down your sister in the process, as that will lead to more problems.

Another thing that struck me is that you said you try to be the good son and impress them, and yet it never works. It reminds me of people (like me) who would go out of their way to do things for a friend or a potential girlfriend or whoever, hoping that they'll see it and be nice, only to exploit you and use you as their personal assistant because they know you won't say anything. Maybe that's a similar thing to what's happening here: you're trying desperately to impress them, and they know you'll keep trying if they keep you at arms length, and you think the only way to get attention from them is to keep attempting to impress them, and...well, you can see how that cycle continues.

Your sister is a "crazy rebel," so that could be another reason why she's getting the attention, but it also seems she is doing to your parents what they're doing to you.

I don't really have any answers except letting your parents know about this, otherwise it simply won't stop.

 

[TheWhitePaladin]

I was about to mention that you should talk to them, but you said they've tried. You said that they don't understand you - what do you mean by that? Perhaps you're not being specific enough when you try to tell them your problems you're having. Tell them in very direct terms that you're not getting enough attention, but try not to put down your sister in the process, as that will lead to more problems.

Another thing that struck me is that you said you try to be the good son and impress them, and yet it never works. It reminds me of people (like me) who would go out of their way to do things for a friend or a potential girlfriend or whoever, hoping that they'll see it and be nice, only to exploit you and use you as their personal assistant because they know you won't say anything. Maybe that's a similar thing to what's happening here: you're trying desperately to impress them, and they know you'll keep trying if they keep you at arms length, and you think the only way to get attention from them is to keep attempting to impress them, and...well, you can see how that cycle continues.


Your sister is a "crazy rebel," so that could be another reason why she's getting the attention, but it also seems she is doing to your parents what they're doing to you.

I don't really have any answers except letting your parents know about this, otherwise it simply won't stop.

What do I mean by saying they won't understand me when I talk to them?
Well by the minute I try to talk and express my feeling they'll just say I'm an ungrateful person and I expect too much from them and that will immediately lead to yelling and arguing. besides I don't WANT to tell them I need more attention , I want to make them REALIZE. (seriously what kind of parents can't notice their kid needs more attention? )

And I'm pretty sure getting yourself into deep trouble many times and every time act like you're innocent and did nothing wrong and refuse to apologize will not grant you the vast majority of attention.

I don't know maybe I should try to talk and explain to the therapist, maybe he can make them realize this.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Try the other way around - try to make your parents realize that they are spoiling your sister and it's not doing her any good, instead of trying to make them realize that they are not spoiling you as much. Make it about her, not about you. The result won't be having more free stuff from your parents, but the inequalities between you and your sister might be diminished, which should make you feel a bit better.

 

[R3K]

Re: Being Unfavoured by Parents/Not getting enough attention from Parents

But yet my dad got her a new iPhone 5 for her birthday. :thumbdownally

lol girls and their lost/broken phones. sounds like my sister actually.

as for the attention thing, I say train yourself to be self-sufficient. do extra chores and stuff and save money and buy your own phone/laptop. then you can smirk at your (spoiled?) sister who relies on daddy to replace all her boneheaded phone dropping bloopers.

 

[hardy]

I always try to be the good son and impress them and make them happy but unfortunately it's not working and that has made me so angry that I argue with them over the simplest things and that worsens the situation even more...

That's the problems...don't you think? Son's never try to impress their parents...what is going on here?It's like you are crying for attention...."like me more".

You are trying very hard for them to like you and they don't give in. So you become angry and fight over small things. May be you should not try hard to impress them. Just mind ur own business....the good parents will like all their children equally AND will teach them not to be attention w****. Please do something about your actions.... we all are attention seekers....learn how to be content with what you have.

There is so much great stuff to learn from books,travelling...seeking parents approval is such a waste.