Being pressured into casual sex I don't want to have...
- Thread starter chrisjurban
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panicsurvivor
Well-known member
It is not weak. We weren't not MEANT to be monagamous, or promiscuous, we were meant to want to have sex. It is a biological drive. We are biologically meant to be promiscuous and poligimas. That doesn't mean that we should do either. We are also biologically meant to murder eachother in combat as well. In case you haven't noticed, there is really no need to procreate at this time. There are so many things that we do now, that we are not biologically meant to do, it really doesn't matter. Be monagomous, if it is right for you, be promiscuous, if it is right for you. Or look for whatever you want in between. Just don't let someone tell you there way is the way, and try to make you feel bad about it. Biology has got nothing to do with how you feel.
Newtype
Well-known member
That's the thing. I don't believe we are biologically meant to do those things. In my experience, every time I've seen people being promiscuous, there was always a psychological reason explaining their behavior. Everyone is molded by society and society takes a toll on people. People need to cope and everyone has a different way of coping. We have SA, it's our way to cope, a very bad way to cope. And Germans didn't kill Jews because they were biologically programmed to do so. They did it 'cause they got brainwashed. In fact, I can't think of any war in history that was caused by our programming. The closest thing would be certain African tribes that wage planned wars on each other every year, but that is a tradition of their society, they don't do it because their body is telling them to do so.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Uh.... sorry but we ARE biologically programmed to have sex. It not a question of opinion. Males and females of our species couple. We are driven to couple by a sex drive. You have not been around very much, if you think that everyone who is promiscuous has something wrong with them. Who are you to judge? Plenty of people have strong libido's and have no problems attracting sexual partners. That doesn't mean that they are warped, or brainwashed. What about gay people? Are they warped and brainwashed by society? SA, Panic disorder, OCD, are not ways of coping. They are disorders, some would say illness's. An illness, or affliction is not a way of coping with society. Blaming society for our personal problems and fears, and illness's, is a copout.
What the hell are you bringing up war for. Wars are fought for money. I was talking about, the biological instinct to kill. I never said anything about war.
Newtype
Well-known member
I don't know what you're talking about. I never questioned that it's natural to have sex.
I have been around, I did mention that my opinion was based on experience and I wouldn't have said it if I would've at least seen one situation that would question it. It's useless to argue about that anyway. It's not something that can be measured so we can't know the truth.
Why are you mixing what I said about war with sex? Don't quote things that I haven't said.
What about them? I don't even know why you brought this up. Are you suggesting that all gay people sleep around?
I only mentioned SA. And yes, SA is a disorder. However, how do we get SA? There's no way we are born with it. I used to be "normal". I've seen many people here say that they used to be normal too. Nobody really knows. My theory is that we've gone through experiences that made us want to avoid certain things and that avoidance developed into the disorder of SA. I guess coping wasn't the right word. It's more like a way of escaping, numbing, forgetting. I do think society is responsible, but it's not really putting the blame on it because we are society. We can't escape it, we are it.
Lifestyle changes in the past decades have changed the way we analyze psychological problems. Those are changes that we created for ourselves following May 68. Because of the unlimited possibilities that were promised to us, we are now the only ones responsible for our own life and therefore we are constantly facing an identity crisis. We don't feel important because we don't know what our role in society is. To quote French sociologist Alain Ehrenberg, from his work entitled Nervousness in civilization. From the cult of performance to psychic collapse: "The person is dominated by a feeling of emptiness and insufficiency. To fill the void, that person relies on drugs, alcohol, tranquilizers and others in order to have sensations and to be what he's not meant to be. In other words, the fatigue of being ourselves leads to dependencies. These dependencies are equivalents to depression, they serve as a mask. What was supposed to be the era of conscience expansion became the era of lost of self."
I like to think that SA falls into this. I recognize a lot of the things I read on this forum in this. It doesn't necessarily explain the behaviors, but it does shed some light on a lot of them. It has definitely helped me understand SA more and make progress as well.
What do you mean by "We are also biologically meant to murder eachother in combat" then? All the time I see you talking about biology to support your arguments on this forum without ever showing us the research and every time you completely disregard social sciences like it's an unworthy branch of science.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Newtype-
Ok, you said you didn't think we were biologically "meant to do those things". I took that to mean, the desire to have sex since that was what my post was talking about. Someone made the statement that we weren't meant to be monogamous, thats why it is so hard, to do it. You said that you didn't buy it, and that it was weak. While I do not by it as an excuse to be unfaithful, I do believe that it is true that biologically we have instincts programmed into us. People that try to excuse their cheating on this argument, are full of it and dishonerable. It is not so difficult to ignore your primitive instincts. However our primitive instincts are there.
There are many promiscuous people out there. You said that there was always a phsycological reason behind it. I took this to mean a problem causing it, because you went on to talk about brainwashing and society. There is a phsycological reason for all our behavior, and peoples sexual practices are made up of their sex drive, and their phsycological expierience's. Believe me, I would be kidding myself if I were to say that all promiscuous people were doing great and had no issues and problems that were causing it. I have seen some seriously screwed up people doing some seriously screwed up things. Promiscuity can be a symptom of all kinds of problems, as I am sure you know. But like I said a lot of other people, who are promiscuous, are just people having fun. Sex is recreation to them. They like the whole process, the chase, the sex, everything. Other people look down on this, because they either are bitter or jealous about it, or because it goes against their morals. Either way, it always irritates me when people try and push their views about sex on other people. Like I said, if you want to be monogamous, that's great!! If you want be promiscuous, good for you. If you want to marry your goat, hey who am I to judge!
Why am I mixing sex and war? I didn't, you did.
As for gay people. I brought that up because you said that you didn't think we were biologically inclined for promiscuity, and that people were molded by society, and that we needed to find ways to cope. Implying that promiscuity was a way of coping with the pressures of society (which it sometimes very much is!!). I was asking if you thought homosexuality was as well. Some people think that homosexuality is a problem, that it is a brainwashing, that can be reversed.
Yes all gay people sleep around.
The coping thing. Here we can agree. After reading your response to this one, I got no issues with what you are saying. It seemed like with your first post, that you were taking the route of blaming society. That is never a good thing. It is a copout, and counterproductive. But your right. Statistics show mental disorders and illness's rising exponentially in these times. The fast paced, media driven, lifestyle obsessed modern world is full of pressures real and imagined. A lot of intelligent, sensitive people are deeply troubled by it.
When you are faced with combat, your brain sends messages to your body. You seem very intelligent so I am sure you have heard of fight or flight. Your body literally gets stronger and faster. Adrenaline pumps through your body, getting you ready to either run like hell to escape, or crush your enemy. I was really only bringing this up, because my original post was about ignoring our "biological makeup" as it no longer applies to a great many things in modern life. Like I said we don't need to populate the earth, and violence is completely useless now. As for me using biology all the time......you mean on this thread? As I recall, I brought study after study, and my esteemed debate partner, brought one theory, which when I researched it, found did not back up his arguments at all. I do look at the social sciences, but I don't give them as much merit as the others. There is too much room for debate in the social sciences. There is less concrete fact and much more conjecture. Ever been in a room full of phsyc. majors? It can get pretty funny, all the arguing, and theory's.
Ok, you said you didn't think we were biologically "meant to do those things". I took that to mean, the desire to have sex since that was what my post was talking about. Someone made the statement that we weren't meant to be monogamous, thats why it is so hard, to do it. You said that you didn't buy it, and that it was weak. While I do not by it as an excuse to be unfaithful, I do believe that it is true that biologically we have instincts programmed into us. People that try to excuse their cheating on this argument, are full of it and dishonerable. It is not so difficult to ignore your primitive instincts. However our primitive instincts are there.
There are many promiscuous people out there. You said that there was always a phsycological reason behind it. I took this to mean a problem causing it, because you went on to talk about brainwashing and society. There is a phsycological reason for all our behavior, and peoples sexual practices are made up of their sex drive, and their phsycological expierience's. Believe me, I would be kidding myself if I were to say that all promiscuous people were doing great and had no issues and problems that were causing it. I have seen some seriously screwed up people doing some seriously screwed up things. Promiscuity can be a symptom of all kinds of problems, as I am sure you know. But like I said a lot of other people, who are promiscuous, are just people having fun. Sex is recreation to them. They like the whole process, the chase, the sex, everything. Other people look down on this, because they either are bitter or jealous about it, or because it goes against their morals. Either way, it always irritates me when people try and push their views about sex on other people. Like I said, if you want to be monogamous, that's great!! If you want be promiscuous, good for you. If you want to marry your goat, hey who am I to judge!
Why am I mixing sex and war? I didn't, you did.
As for gay people. I brought that up because you said that you didn't think we were biologically inclined for promiscuity, and that people were molded by society, and that we needed to find ways to cope. Implying that promiscuity was a way of coping with the pressures of society (which it sometimes very much is!!). I was asking if you thought homosexuality was as well. Some people think that homosexuality is a problem, that it is a brainwashing, that can be reversed.
Yes all gay people sleep around.
The coping thing. Here we can agree. After reading your response to this one, I got no issues with what you are saying. It seemed like with your first post, that you were taking the route of blaming society. That is never a good thing. It is a copout, and counterproductive. But your right. Statistics show mental disorders and illness's rising exponentially in these times. The fast paced, media driven, lifestyle obsessed modern world is full of pressures real and imagined. A lot of intelligent, sensitive people are deeply troubled by it.
When you are faced with combat, your brain sends messages to your body. You seem very intelligent so I am sure you have heard of fight or flight. Your body literally gets stronger and faster. Adrenaline pumps through your body, getting you ready to either run like hell to escape, or crush your enemy. I was really only bringing this up, because my original post was about ignoring our "biological makeup" as it no longer applies to a great many things in modern life. Like I said we don't need to populate the earth, and violence is completely useless now. As for me using biology all the time......you mean on this thread? As I recall, I brought study after study, and my esteemed debate partner, brought one theory, which when I researched it, found did not back up his arguments at all. I do look at the social sciences, but I don't give them as much merit as the others. There is too much room for debate in the social sciences. There is less concrete fact and much more conjecture. Ever been in a room full of phsyc. majors? It can get pretty funny, all the arguing, and theory's.
Newtype
Well-known member
It's just that when you said that, I thought that you were one of those people who defended the idea that monogamy is stupid and pointless because we were not biologically meant to be monogamous. I have seen people write that on other Web sites. I said that it was weak because it's like those people are not even making any effort into challenging their bodies. They surrender to their body, to their animal side. I actually wasn't targeting you when I wrote that, but if you feel I did, I apologize.
I can agree with that.
I can agree with that as well.
It's just that you talked about biologically being meant to murder each other as well and that confused me. It lead me to think that you only thought that humans killed each other because it's natural to do so.
As for gay people. I brought that up because you said that you didn't think we were biologically inclined for promiscuity, and that people were molded by society, and that we needed to find ways to cope. Implying that promiscuity was a way of coping with the pressures of society (which it sometimes very much is!!). I was asking if you thought homosexuality was as well. Some people think that homosexuality is a problem, that it is a brainwashing, that can be reversed.
Yes all gay people sleep around.
No, of course I don't think that homosexuality is a problem or that some people have been molded into being homosexuals. Sexual orientation is something that you get at birth. As for gay people sleeping around, I don't know if you're joking there, but I don't think all gay people sleep around. I think they're like heterosexuals. Some sleep around and some don't.
When you are faced with combat, your brain sends messages to your body. You seem very intelligent so I am sure you have heard of fight or flight. Your body literally gets stronger and faster. Adrenaline pumps through your body, getting you ready to either run like hell to escape, or crush your enemy. I was really only bringing this up, because my original post was about ignoring our "biological makeup" as it no longer applies to a great many things in modern life. Like I said we don't need to populate the earth, and violence is completely useless now. As for me using biology all the time......you mean on this thread? As I recall, I brought study after study, and my esteemed debate partner, brought one theory, which when I researched it, found did not back up his arguments at all. I do look at the social sciences, but I don't give them as much merit as the others. There is too much room for debate in the social sciences. There is less concrete fact and much more conjecture. Ever been in a room full of phsyc. majors? It can get pretty funny, all the arguing, and theory's.
Ah okay, I understand now. I've never been in a room full of phsyc. majors but I'm gonna guess that it's similar to being in a room full of sociology majors, lol. I even hear the teachers debating in the hallway
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Ah okay, I understand now. I've never been in a room full of phsyc. majors but I'm gonna guess that it's similar to being in a room full of sociology majors, lol. I even hear the teachers debating in the hallway
LOL. Probably exactly the same. Math and science is just easier.
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