being a person of SA, etc

[lily]

don't you think it's hard for us to make friends when we have sp/sa? Mine has nothing to do with social skills and yet it's still hard b/c i don't think i can really be friends with regular people and yet if i go to a group there will be people who have sp and also perhaps have other disabilities that make it hard to you to be friends with them coupled with the fact that you have to be compatible too and in the right age group. it's so hard. only God the supernatural can help me. i need support :sad:

edit: sorry, the title's supposed to be "being a person 'of' sa"- great!

 

[F0AM]

YES, i don't have problems getting along With others, yet i find It extremely hard to develope any kind of connection and call others "Friends". Tho i think finding true Friends is a hard even for those without SA.

Sometimes we think that It would be easier to make friends With those With SA, but is not entirely true. It Will be easier for another person With SA ti understand how you feel but at the same time that person still suffers from It and its fears Will be an obstacle un order to be Friends and do stuff together. Cause even being arround others With SA, your phobia is still there.

Also we are people, not machines, like those without SP, each of us have different hobbies, tastes, beliefs, etc. We cannot expect another person With SP to be our BEST friend just because SP is the only thing we have in common

Try to have freinds that share your hobbies, online or un person. Its hard believe me, i know. I understand how you feel but don't give Up, if you do, thats a 100% probability of not finding a friend : )


Haha don't worry about the tiitle, im writing this through my phone and its trying to correct every single Word i type to spanish lol

 

[F0AM]

You have our support Lily, you're not alone on this : )

 

[Jungle]

Hello lily,

I haven't been browsing SPW a lot lately, I just came to know about your thread, I'm sorry for not being able to give my input earlier.

I haven't had a lot of friends in my teenage hood or until recently, I am not sure if it's because of my SA or my personality.
Most of the friends I've made were either from university or meetups. Have you tried walking to meetups? I know it sounds daunting like crazy the first times, but it can really help you get in touch with people sharing the same hobbies as you. I am not speaking about SA meetups because I guess that people would be too anxious to dedicate a meetup to that topic, it's paradoxal I know. You can join musical, religious, sports meetups.

Just like the cat said, you have our support.

 

[lily]

thank you a lot, i really need a lot of comfort and support :sad:

 

[BlueDays]

I'm going for acupuncture tomorrow and then I'll be going somewhere else for the holiday and then the church that I've never been to.

I hope you can find some people to become friends with at that new church, lily. Good luck. :thumbup:
What do you get acupuncture for? if you don't mind me asking...

 

[LittleGloves]

I thought I would find the 'perfect' friend in uni but till now I'm still searching :/

 

[kuurt]

You said only God the supernatural can help you. That's certainly something you can try. I was living with my dad a couple of years ago, I prayed for a friend. Then my dad tried to call someone in the family, but he accidentally dialed the wrong number. Nobody answered, but the person he accidentally called called us back to see who had called him. I answered the phone and I recognized the guys voice. We use to be neighbors when we were kids. We talked on the phone for a bit and end up hanging out a few times. I considered that an answered prayer. So that is one way to go.

I don't hang out with him anymore though. You know how us shy people are, we often don't stay in touch with people. Don't know what to say or do. If you do get a friend that's the next thing - you have to figure out what to do with your friend. That's why I created a post on here once about listing ones interests. Similar to the hobbies post. But since all of us on this forum live so far apart from each other it doesn't really do much good.

 

[kuurt]

What is this meet-ups thing you guys just mentioned? Are you talking about meetup.com? I couldn't find any interesting meetups in my area on there. I thought about creating a meetup group for people with social anxiety, but where would you host the meetup?

 

[kuurt]

Yeah, I contacted Meetup.com several days ago on their facebook page and I sent them a message. I told them that right now there is only two options on their website - you can either start a group or join one that already exists. I told them that they should have a third option because a lot of us would like there to be a group on a specific topic, but we don't want to be the ones to start and manage it. I said there should be an third option where you can give an idea for a group that you would like to join and when other people in your area search the area for groups they will also see your group idea in the search results, and if they're interested they can add their name to the list or even be the one to start it. They sent me a message back saying they would send my idea to the higher ups for consideration. So who knows, maybe they'll eventually make that possible.