avoident personality disorder and facebook/myspace

[Silentknight]

Myspace for me makes me sad, when I go on it I notice other people and how they have alot of comments and in my mind I can picture them getting a bunch of messages and then I see my profile with no comments in over a year and no messages ever :: I'm not completly sure why I still have or even log onto this profile but I do.

 

[boosh]

Myspace for me makes me sad, when I go on it I notice other people and how they have alot of comments and in my mind I can picture them getting a bunch of messages and then I see my profile with no comments in over a year and no messages ever :: I'm not completly sure why I still have or even log onto this profile but I do.

i know how you feel

 

[Skog]

Re: avoidant personality disorder and facebook/myspace

I'm only on those with fake name accounts so I can look at the publicly available information for people I know. I don't have any friends on those accounts.

Even on the fake accounts, I can't bring myself to enter much in the way of personal information (like what kind of music you like etc.) because people typecast you from that. I wouldn't want someone I befriended in the virtual world (if I should ever try to do so with my fake name) to judge me negatively because I listed something uncool.

 

[Kinetik]

I have never had a social networking page for a number of reasons, the main one being that I'd be embarrassed due to the tiny number of people I've ever known in person. Occasionally I see an old classmate's page and they have lots of new contacts on there - people I've never heard of. Then I think about how I've known almost nobody new since high school and how stupid it would look if I joined Facebook and was only able to add the people I was forced to go to school with way back in the day. Couple that with the fact that I dropped out of college and have already been divorced (at age 26) and you start to see why I really have no desire to sign up.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Re: avoidant personality disorder and facebook/myspace

I'm only on those with fake name accounts so I can look at the publicly available information for people I know. I don't have any friends on those accounts.

That's what I've been thinking of doing. If I make an account I think I'd want to make a lurker profile that's private and unsearchable, with no friends, and under some screen name. That way I could poke around and see what it's really about first, and THEN, I might make a real profile but still keep it pretty private and undetailed.

 

[epona]

i have this problem too. i just turn my chat off. i hate people talking to me on facebook in less i know them very well.

 

[Meisiemel]

Whenever I see I have a friend request I shout out loud: "Oh boy - a friend request!". I really love getting them.I've never rejected one.
But whenever I see there's a message in my inbox, I brace myself before looking at it - because I'm always expecting to get a nasty message. So far none have been nasty.
I keep chat turned off because I hate live chat - too much anxiety.
I don't like getting too much attention on my profile and I hardly ever write status updates because I feel nobody would be interested in them. And yet I love reading other people's statuses.
I don't have too much fear on facebook because I'm so careful to not upset anyone. I'm very careful how I word things. And I've come to know the different personalities of most of my fb friends - I know what to say or not say to each one. Plus I know which ones are likely to appreciate comments from me and which ones won't notice if I hardly ever comment on their stuff. Whenever I start getting anxiety about what someone on facebook might think of something I've posted - I remind myself that they're focused on their own posts and they aren't going to single me out amongst their hundreds of friends, and judge me.
Sometimes things do get a bit unpleasantly stressful on fb - there's some mind-boggling drama that goes on, but when I start feeling uncomfortable I just tell myself I can always vanish from facebook. So far I have not deleted my account, whereas I have some friends who are so temperamental they regularly disappear and reappear.
If I ever do delete my account, I will first notify each friend because I think it's discourteous to just disappear without telling your friends. They might think you've deleted them and feel hurt. It's not only people like us who get hurt feelings when someone deletes them. One of my friends has nearly 900 friends and she still notices when the number goes down, and she gets depressed about it.

 

[UnOccupied]

My SAD is not clinical, so it is not with me ALL the time. I'd say i'm socially anxious 70% of the time, and the other 30%, i think i am fine, and wont ever be socially anxious again. So, in that 30%, i get so scared writing things on peoples walls and stuff, even when i want to, bc i'm not sure i will be able to back it up in the future when i am feeling SAD. It is very unpleasant having to hold back my funny comments all the time, even when i do feel good inside.

 

[That guy]

I almost can't bring myself to post statuses, Its just really hard for me to put my opinion out there. I think I have barely ever sent out friend requests, too afraid they wont accept. I agree with meiseimel, that I love getting friend requests, but am always sad if its a fake account.

 

[danyule]

i have the EXACT same problem, its the most frustrating feeling. i just received a comment about 10 minutes ago. but am stewing over whether i should reply, or just ignore it, and say "i fell asleep" or something (what i usually do), same goes for text messages.

 

[be_noticed]

yes i try and avoid facebook too. but then again by doctor said so :/

 

[vj288]

I am so terrified of Facebook, so much so that I can't even bring myself to make an account. The idea of being so out there all the time is something that would stress me out 24/7

 

[Katha]

Haha this is funny. I used to have Facebook before I quit going to public school, and I had like 60 friends.. didn't really talk any of them in real life. Once I quit going to school, I really didn't talk to them, so I just deleted everybody. I won't go in depth but yeah Facebook sure was fun...

 

[SilentStranger]

Hmm I thought I was in the minority of people even among SP when it comes not using Facebook. Its good to see others. Like some of you have already said, I don't have a Facebook/twitter etc account for a number of reasons.

I am a private person. Internet was/is all cool when using pseudonyms, but using a real name hmmm maybe not. I feel to anxious about what people think about my posts especially non SP people.

I have so little number of friends and acquaintances and I don't want to announce that to the world. Even online & even on sites like these I only have few friends.

Even the groups of people I know, work people, friends from school, friends from uni, my family, cousins, people on this site & other online sites/games. They seem so different and probably won't like each other or understand each other. And of course I don't want all those excuses I give to each group to unravel because they are different.

I am someone who probably like to swim against the current. Not the biggest fan of fads of the popular culture and unlike the time when I first got into computers and the net, sites like Facebook & internet in general are now mainstream.

And to some little extent I want to be oblivious to others achievements, accomplishments, relationships and the normal 'life' they live.

Having said all that I do once in a while feel like coming out of this shell and force myself to socialise. So maybe I might test the waters with another fake account and then even one using my real name.

Anybody want to be my Facebook friend? I will pay good money*!

*Money will imaginary like our friendship

 

[N0D]

I don't have a facebook or anything of the sort. I am way to self conscious for something like that. People can comment...and you're expected to put pictures...and everyone can see how many friends you don't have...why would you torment yourself with that?

 

[vj288]

Internet was/is all cool when using pseudonyms, but using a real name hmmm maybe not. I feel to anxious about what people think about my posts especially non SP people.

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Using your real name makes it seem more...real? Like I know no one will come up to me on the street and say, "Hey, you're vj288! We talked online once!" But if I were to use my real name I know that wouldn't only be possible but likely. With Facebook it's not just online, you know these people in real life so it overlaps. For me it would be just as bad, maybe worse...

 

[twiggle]

Facebook makes me really anxious when I sign in. If my friends number has gone down I get really paranoid and start to wonder what I've done wrong, even if its nobody important.
And if people are writing on everyone elses wall and not on mine, then that also makes me feel sad.
Its not ideal.
But the pros of it outweigh the cons. Good way to keep in reach of people.

 

[Cynicalloner]

I wound up deleting my myspace years ago and my facebook last year then I made a new facebook because people were asking me to and I wound up deleting that one just recently. I get paranoid with websites like that thinking my friends are gonna realize how I barely have any friends compared to them and laugh at me behind my back because of it or something. :/

 

[ripewithdecay]

Ive discovered, through facebook, that there are some old friends of mine from high school who i thought were close, are actually real ignorant douchebags.
I mean... they add me as a friend yet when i message them just once to say hello and talk to them they ignore me and dont respond?
If I had any more self respect i would delete these douchebags off my account and be done with them. But this is why i hate facebook, for this kind of ****. Im already at rock bottom i dont need facebook losers kicking me while im down.

 

[twiggle]

Further to my previous comment on this thread I just wanted to have a small rant about the incredibly fake nature of Facebook.
Its like, people are so selective about how they convey themselves and so quick to show off about everything they have.
One of my friends is going travelling and mentions so on many statuses about how great its going to be. Somebody asked her an unrelated question on one of her statii and she managed to throw in the fact she was going travelling into her reply.
I know going travelling is exciting. I've done it. But I didn't put statuses about it because I didn't want to sound bigheaded and besides which its my own private business!
So you're like this but then you just get tonnes of people who DO use it to show off and it angers you because you don't want these people to assume that their life is greater than yours but you won't retaliate in a childish manner so they'll ALWAYS be stuck in their own arrogance.
Sorry for the rant but it annoys me so much!!!!!!