At work: Alway seeing the worst at every interaction

[theoutsidergirl]

At work I always think people are thinking negatively of me, think I'm antisocial or I'm not enough of a teamplayer. I'm afraid I'll lose my job and get fired, because I don't fit in...Everyday I'm worried they'll talk about me and decide to fire me. It's my third week doing this internship(my fourth one) and being at work is sometimes unbearable. My heart is racing, my hands wet and sweaty. I have trouble asking my coworkers things and am scared to be left out....it's torture. Worst is lunchtime, always hoping someone will ask me out...or think I'll be annoying and cling onto a group.
Anyone have the same problem?

 

[sahxox]

At work I always think people are thinking negatively of me, think I'm antisocial or I'm not enough of a teamplayer. I'm afraid I'll lose my job and get fired, because I don't fit in...Everyday I'm worried they'll talk about me and decide to fire me. It's my third week doing this internship(my fourth one) and being at work is sometimes unbearable. My heart is racing, my hands wet and sweaty. I have trouble asking my coworkers things and am scared to be left out....it's torture. Worst is lunchtime, always hoping someone will ask me out...or think I'll be annoying and cling onto a group.
Anyone have the same problem?

Yes I do.
I've come to learn it's irrational, it's paranoia. It effing sucks.
It is so damn scary. Reminding myself it's only in my mind does help... trying to stay in reality is hard but is achievable somedays. Stay with it.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I understand... me too. I think it's better to be quiet, because talking too much can lead to more trouble in my opinion. If you're lucky enough to have a real riend at work that's great, but no need to be "loved" by everyone. Also make sure to be respectful of your boss at all times.

 

[IcedEarth25]

Recently someone at works had a grudge against me for going home early a few nights before when they wanted to go too. I've learnt a place of work is where you go and earn money that's it, you talk to people n make friends fair enough, but other than that you just make a living at work n that's all.

 

[jaim38]

Recently someone at works had a grudge against me for going home early a few nights before when they wanted to go too. I've learnt a place of work is where you go and earn money that's it, you talk to people n make friends fair enough, but other than that you just make a living at work n that's all.

That's the first goal I'll set for myself - get a job and do no more than the minimum. But eventually, I know i want to have a meaningful job, be the best that I can be, grow and develop as a person and employee - highest level fo self-actualization from Maslow's hierarchy. But that's probably a long way to go, so I'll just start small first.

 

[MikeyC]

Recently someone at works had a grudge against me for going home early a few nights before when they wanted to go too. I've learnt a place of work is where you go and earn money that's it, you talk to people n make friends fair enough, but other than that you just make a living at work n that's all.

You spend half your waking life at work - why not try to get the best out of it?

 

[IcedEarth25]

That's the first goal I'll set for myself - get a job and do no more than the minimum. But eventually, I know i want to have a meaningful job, be the best that I can be, grow and develop as a person and employee - highest level fo self-actualization from Maslow's hierarchy. But that's probably a long way to go, so I'll just start small first.

Yup thats the right attitude pretty much, Number 1 ( yourself) is your main priority in a job, anything happens, it's your back you cover first.

 

[IcedEarth25]

You spend half your waking life at work - why not try to get the best out of it?

I have done mate, but when you end up working with people who will try to bring you down every so often its tough yea, but yea I do get the best out of it by hanging out with some of the people from my job, some I even consider my extended family, that says alot considering I've been unsocial most of my life so this job has pretty much helped me increase my confidence alot .

 

[dottie]

my heart goes out to you! i worked a job like this and stuck it out for a long time. it was the worst. if you still do not feel comfortable in that work environment after a good few months, move on!! don't just quit but start submitting your resume elsewhere on the side. it is not worth it to stay in a job that makes you feel that horrible. it is not worth killing your spirit. good luck!

It's my third week

just noticed this! it is terrifying being new and i relate with all you said... but try to stick it out a bit and see if you find your niche there. you might just need a little more time. otherwise, if it still feels that uncomfortable and you don't feel like you fit in... jet! each job has its own culture, there will be a place for you. keep trying!

 

[dandriv25]

Your employers should not and cannot fire you for feeling this way.

I used to feel this way a lot in college. It sucks.

Try making light conversation with some co workers and try to find some common interests you can talk comfortably about. Not everyone is going to think negatively about you or treat you negatively. If they do they are the ones at risk of being fired. There are some decent, empathetic people left in the world.

 

[MikeyC]

I have done mate, but when you end up working with people who will try to bring you down every so often its tough yea, but yea I do get the best out of it by hanging out with some of the people from my job, some I even consider my extended family, that says alot considering I've been unsocial most of my life so this job has pretty much helped me increase my confidence alot .

Sorry that people are bringing you down. You'll get that in any facet of life. On the other hand, you appear to have met some really cool people, and that's wonderful.

 

[Lea]

When I see the worst at every interaction, my intuition unfortunately is always right.

 

[theoutsidergirl]

Thanks for all your replies. I feel a bit better hearing I'm not the only one. I've lasted more than 4 weeks, so I guess I'm doing ok. However things are getting worse. Sometimes I just don't know wether somthing is paranoia or real, like when my co-workers don't talk to me or rather walk with someone else instead of me....

I asked my boyfriend about it and he sais I'm just being selfish wanting so much attention...but that painful feeling is there and if just one person walked next to me in a group of, say 10 people, I'd feel on top of the world, because I'd feel I'm part of the group. Walking alone just kills me inside. I feel really depressed, left-out, feel like just running away...

Not being accepted or disliked by others makes me feel like a broken, second class human being. I feel so useless, worthless and ridiculous...pathetic. I probably will get fired if my co-orkers don't like me. Soon my bosses (yes, I've got two) will also think I don't fit in and then it's all over...alas my suffering will end and I can crawl into a room and just be by myself.

Sorry for writing such depressing stuff.

 

[Zaki]

At work I always think people are thinking negatively of me, think I'm antisocial or I'm not enough of a teamplayer. I'm afraid I'll lose my job and get fired, because I don't fit in...Everyday I'm worried they'll talk about me and decide to fire me. It's my third week doing this internship(my fourth one) and being at work is sometimes unbearable. My heart is racing, my hands wet and sweaty. I have trouble asking my coworkers things and am scared to be left out....it's torture. Worst is lunchtime, always hoping someone will ask me out...or think I'll be annoying and cling onto a group.
Anyone have the same problem?

Yes indeed. Trust me when I say I know that feel, yo. I've been on a job for a few weeks too and I keep thinking that one of these days, for one reason or another, I'll walk in and suddenly my name won't be on the schedule anymore- it has certainly happened to me before. I am also very paranoid about people talking about me behind my back in the workplace. At my last job, a manager actually came to me and told me that other managers were talking about me behind my back. They were insulting my work performance, saying I work too slow, it seems like I don't know what I'm doing, etc. These other managers never came to me about these issues and actually gave me the impression that I was working up to their standards. So to hear their complaints relayed to me through someone else...well, that really pissed me off.
Although I currently work to the best of my ability, I feel like that's not enough to guarantee I'll keep my job since I keep to myself most of the time. Still, I think that when you're at work, your main focus should be...your work. There's nothing wrong with engaging in some friendly chitchat with your colleagues. In fact, I think it generally makes the work day go by a little smoother. However, it's not a nightclub. If you make friends with a few nice folks, great. If you don't, whatever. As long as you can communicate with your co-workers effectively enough to get done what needs to be done, you should be fine. Chin up.