Asking for tips.

[Falkor]

Howdy,

I wanna go to Canada (Vancouver) next year in Summer Holiday.
My girl and I want to plan a vacancy (trip) because it is my dream to go across the ocean and it means a lot to my lover and she loves canada. so
With my girlfriend, have the most amazing time over there.

We want to live there,, it's the dream destination of my girl and I def think I will like it as well, it's so much better as this frog cold land anyway. and so many more opportunities and I always felt like an America lover (huge fascination by the life over there and the lifestyle and just the whole atmopshere) but Canada is so cool as well. I think it's even more my kinda thing.

Plan is:
Booking the vacation beginning next year
Convince my parents i'll be okay, I am strong to keep my head up oh yeah!
Go in Summer holiday
Visit a lot of nice places in Canada
Have a great time with my lover
Cycle, Skate, speak English
Watch the whole invironment over there, to see everything.
Watch nice houses.
Make a bunch of photos
Make a youtube video-blog in Van
View companies/scholarships in Canada.

etc...

Now, I only have one problem, my parents are a lil concerned about letting me go.... They stopped me last year, maybe that's a little true cuz It was a little impulsive to say. But now.. it's not at all. It's a long time ahead, so how should I convince them?

My girl's suggestions:

*Graduate school as a proof that I can
*Get good marks, no bad ones by purpose
*Travel around Holland more often, to show people that I can travel by myself as well.
And that I can handle it, even tho I have sa.
*Complete CBT/mind fulness/DGT in May.
*Finish Hyperventilation course and get rid off anxiety attacks. yay

lol I might sound a little enthuastic... I hope you guys can follow me That's just my way of writing Hope anyone will read or at least commenT

Any more tips? or words to say to my folks?

Oh and it's my girlfriend's birthday. she just turned 25!

Well, thank you for reading....

Sassy Flower

 

[Felgen]

Judging from your posts, you've made progress--this you should put emphasis on. Also, you've probably matured since last year and you're old enough to make your own decissions regarding this.

Good luck!

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Ah well, tell your girlfriend I said "Happy Birthday!"! So, what's the special plans for today?

Those sound like good starting points to convince your parents. What you could also do is to get your parents to see that you are a grown adult, responsible and capable of making your own decisions. You could also promise to keep in contact with them. I guess just maybe show them how much you really want this and show how much thought and planning you've put into this. Good luck Saskia!

 

[Sial Axetder]

Vancouver is nice. Vancouver Island is better. Ocean all around.

You could include your parents with your plans/ideas. Listen to their advice and concerns. Let them know they're not being ignored. Don't plan it all out then approach and say "hey I'm going on a trip..." (I do that but that's just me.) Regardless, if you want this trip to happen it will happen.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Ohh, Saskia-- sounds exciting!
I've never left Ontario but I've heard plenty about Vancouver.

To prove to your parents that you'll be able to handle the traveling, it would be SO great if you could do some practice traveling first.
Daytrips can be very fun- or overnight trips here and there.

 

[aftermidnight]

Why is it that they don't want you to go?

 

[Falkor]

aftermidnight I think they are afraid that something bad will happen, like that I will get a panic attack like I do in Holland, I have them a lot, but It doesn't tell that I will have them in Canada or if it happens I will still keep my head up, and keep living, i'm still here you know. ::

Also at college I do have panic attacks on very occasion, still i have a lot of good days, more usually! I have a panic attack once in 2 weeks, mostly. at school. So.... Eh? (still very hard to be socially awkward, but I'm not avoiding it).

Also, I go to a clinic every Tuesday afternoon (an hour session) to get methods to cure panic attacks. She's a therapist who struggled herself, and she totally got off it. By breathing more in control and know how to calm down yourself, in any kind of situation. it's really intensive, but I am so happy about it.

SOO maybe it means I won't have a panic attack anymore in a few months... So they don't have to doubt at all... now that would be amazing.
Still hard to believe for myself too, but i know it is possible, this woman, Petra, my therapist, she got cured by this moron and she feels so calm everyday, it's an eye opener.

My parents are just afraid because I have SA, they share my feelings. Good in a way, but unusual to my real life plans. I know I have SA, but I won't let it stop me anymore. I also got back into college, their hope was gone, but now it's growing, they see it's getting better. (still it's damn hard with being so self concious, i'm always uncomfortable with people, I really stand out in a stupid way, people can see I'm really robotic, anxious and extremely awkward. Still wanna hide myself, but not doing it, and do the right thing).

One thing, I'm glad, is that my parents would be truly supportive if they know it is going right. so, i'm thankful they are so comforting, I will show them it can go differently than those years being isolated for three threwing away years.

Sial Totally cool, thanks. You're right, saying it right away is a suprise, I will tell them all details so they don't have to be concerned. I know my parents like facts, details and most headlines about the fact that I can handle a situation and how I will be able to do it. Yea, we're a lot a like, my parents are both a lil SA too, not as much as I am, tho. But I will fight through as well. My dad says ''I can just relax at a table with 20 people, you just have to not prepare yourself so much and to be afraid what'll happen, just sit there and nobody gives a damn about you, so don't you give a damn about those folks too. lol.

Felgen Thanks, Yea progress is so great. Still it's always hard to say ''Yea, I'm doing fine'' I still want more improvement. SA is still a b*atch. I should be happy that the first steps are token and keep this on my mind and show it to people that I am finding it. So It's a better state of mind and it will show clarity of the presence moment, and also in time, even more extended, to be having faith towards for.

Phocas Haha, I love grizzly bears.... ;D Don't worry palls. Koala bears are so cute btw. ^_^ if a bear attacks me, I will ask him to hang out and have a beer, I mean it's holiday, I'll pay. XD So don't be mad cute teddy bear. (I mean, seeiing a bear like that, I don't think that'll happen but people live there, so I'm not worried about it). If it's a real danger nobody would wanted to be living in Canada, only jungle freaks.

Weirdy Heyy Weirdy, You're weird in your own way, and that's cool. i once heard this sentence and reminded me of your name.
It's a nice one ;D

About the day trips, awesome plan. I used to travel to groningen to my girlfriend a lot of times, and now i'm going to amsterdam for the first time by train myself... it's 3.30 hours for me! So it's a long way, but I totally love it. (my girl got a job over there now, so she moved in with uncle/aunt temporary... She's looking for an appartment, so proud of her!)

I can also drink a starbucks at schiphol, ain't it perfect?

I have been in Amsterdam before, but haven't seen all of it.. it's so big and I live far away from it. I will definitely enjoy it. And I can proof my parents that I can do it.

Also my girl, and her mom. Her mom is afraid that I will drama out. (that's my new word , freak out lol, just take it this way in a humouristic view so I won't take it personally, I mean... She's right to think like that, no problemo, I will only convince people I can break through a mind-set like that, in the past I was EXACT was her mom described, the moment in time she met me, still a little of habits and traints like avoidance... all time, now i'm exploring the world and also exploring new inspirements... so I will keep my mind on track to something different... A little LINDEN METHOD, right? ) if I have to travel so fast all by myself. I mean normally it takes me 1.5 hours by bus, but now it's train ( i love trains better anyway heh) and it's 3.30 hours. (with a stop at schiphol airport/huge mall included starbucks!) so it will be just fine. I know it will be a lil hard with loads of people in the train, it's a busy place.... most busy one. capital city eh? but I don't care. I will just face it. In the past I couldn't, now it's time to fight.

and I'll proof my parents, so I will definitely make a huge poster with YES I DID IT... with all the difficulties defeated on it and paste it in the room... I will be so happy after the trip, every day is a new win, especially for Social Phobies.

Deadman Walkin Thank you sir! I will congratulate her from you, she reads my post on SPW, I gave her my profile number. She's the only one who knows i'm on SPW, nobody may know I do. haha. But I'll post it to her, I know she would be happy with it!

The plans, well... She didn't really want to celebrate her bday. she doesn't like to be in the spotlight ( i can relate to that so much hehe ) tho we've watched harry potter the final together the night before and we had a nice dinner in germany with her dad and stepmum. was nice. and she got a nice gift from her dad. my gift is coming from canada soon....^^

Thank you all .

Sassy

 

[Kinetik]

If your parents do let you go, bear in mind that Canada is probably the most difficult first-world country to get into, even as a tourist. Like you, I'm a Dutch citizen and I visited Montreal once (I loved it), but the following year was denied entry at the border due to a lack of ties with my home country.

So my tips are going to be a little on the practical side:

- Make sure you have a return ticket
- Print out a bank statement or something similar to show you've got enough funds to support yourself during your vacation there
- Have some proof of having a good reason to return home to Holland, like a job, or school etc.

So do try to visit and have fun but keep your enthusiasm to a minimum when it comes to the border people. If you're only there on vacation, it's best to only mention that. Good luck.

 

[Falkor]

If your parents do let you go, bear in mind that Canada is probably the most difficult first-world country to get into, even as a tourist. Like you, I'm a Dutch citizen and I visited Montreal once (I loved it), but the following year was denied entry at the border due to a lack of ties with my home country.

So my tips are going to be a little on the practical side:

- Make sure you have a return ticket
- Print out a bank statement or something similar to show you've got enough funds to support yourself during your vacation there
- Have some proof of having a good reason to return home to Holland, like a job, or school etc.

So do try to visit and have fun but keep your enthusiasm to a minimum when it comes to the border people. If you're only there on vacation, it's best to only mention that. Good luck.

Good advice. I will take papers with me, passport too.
Hopefully i'll have my diploma next year so I can copy it. ^^
It is very important to get there without problem and get back, because it is holiday ofc.

Thanks for the tips pal.

 

[Sial Axetder]

If your parents do let you go, bear in mind that Canada is probably the most difficult first-world country to get into, even as a tourist. Like you, I'm a Dutch citizen and I visited Montreal once (I loved it), but the following year was denied entry at the border due to a lack of ties with my home country.

So my tips are going to be a little on the practical side:

- Make sure you have a return ticket
- Print out a bank statement or something similar to show you've got enough funds to support yourself during your vacation there
- Have some proof of having a good reason to return home to Holland, like a job, or school etc.

So do try to visit and have fun but keep your enthusiasm to a minimum when it comes to the border people. If you're only there on vacation, it's best to only mention that. Good luck.

Ohh, this explains a lot. I am both American and Canadian citizen. I find it doubly difficult to get back into Canada than it is to exit. (Alas having three strikes against me doesn't help). Interesting to read others views and experiences.

 

[Falkor]

Thanks all.