I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was younger, but I think I've grown out of it for the most part, and am now left with normal symptoms of social anxiety disorder. I wanted to reach out to you guys and ask how much you feel you have in common with me, because I honestly feel the online social anxiety and even some aspects of the asperger's online community are the only ones who can relate to my problems.
I feel like even if I were to become quicker with my social skills, I still won't feel like I really connect with people. It's not that I see people as objects, it's just that when I communicate, it takes so much calculation on my part. Even when I make them laugh I think "Yes! They understand my humor! Mwhaha, maybe I am slightly normal!" rather than feeling a sense of connection with them.
I think I still must be somewhere on the autistic spectrum, even though I have no problem reading people's emotions. I just feel too literal, like I'm in a black/white, yes/no, overly logical mindset most of the time, and I just can't relax and live in the moment.
I used to be angry at the world because I felt the mainstream population is shallow and easily entertained (which is somewhat true), but now I think most anger directed at the world is a form of self-loathing - frustration for not being able to be the person you feel it's so easy for everyone else to be. Maybe I'd be shallow too if my insecurities didn't force me to need to always feel... analytically superior, for lack of a better term. Most people on the middle or far end of the spectrum are forced to accept who they are, but I'd say I'm not too severe a case, so I'm still confused about where I stand and what my potential actually is. "Just accept who you are" sounds like good advice, but I don't know who the heck I am or what I'm capable of being. I just know that feeling like I'm half normal, half alien is a somewhat lonely existence since I feel no one is that combination in the same way I am.
Anyway, I'm in college studying music, and I'd say I have more in common with the teachers than the students. But I can still get by and function, though I'm by myself most of the time.
So are you also stuck in your head most of the time, unable to connect with people, or do you feel like you can connect, but are just scared of rejection? Thanks!
I feel like even if I were to become quicker with my social skills, I still won't feel like I really connect with people. It's not that I see people as objects, it's just that when I communicate, it takes so much calculation on my part. Even when I make them laugh I think "Yes! They understand my humor! Mwhaha, maybe I am slightly normal!" rather than feeling a sense of connection with them.
I think I still must be somewhere on the autistic spectrum, even though I have no problem reading people's emotions. I just feel too literal, like I'm in a black/white, yes/no, overly logical mindset most of the time, and I just can't relax and live in the moment.
I used to be angry at the world because I felt the mainstream population is shallow and easily entertained (which is somewhat true), but now I think most anger directed at the world is a form of self-loathing - frustration for not being able to be the person you feel it's so easy for everyone else to be. Maybe I'd be shallow too if my insecurities didn't force me to need to always feel... analytically superior, for lack of a better term. Most people on the middle or far end of the spectrum are forced to accept who they are, but I'd say I'm not too severe a case, so I'm still confused about where I stand and what my potential actually is. "Just accept who you are" sounds like good advice, but I don't know who the heck I am or what I'm capable of being. I just know that feeling like I'm half normal, half alien is a somewhat lonely existence since I feel no one is that combination in the same way I am.
Anyway, I'm in college studying music, and I'd say I have more in common with the teachers than the students. But I can still get by and function, though I'm by myself most of the time.
So are you also stuck in your head most of the time, unable to connect with people, or do you feel like you can connect, but are just scared of rejection? Thanks!