Hi,
This sounds so much like me!
I always ask what other people want, I always wanna help them, I never wanna hurt them by saying rude stuff, I always listen to people when they need me, I always wanna make sure other people are feeling happy with me.
Weird thing isn't it?
With friends, if they call me on the phone (happens rarely,like few times in a year but still...) or mostly on the messenger I keep on talking to them so I can help them and I can't get it out off my mind and need to still be there for them like continuely.. I never get tired of helping someone, some people do and they back off.. say now it's enough but I keep on hanging there, it's funny some people see this is as a positive traint, cuz I could be a therapist who can work so many hours and be a great helper.. but i also experience i can go on and on about my own problems.. So it's not always a good thing..
It has good and bad sides... I'm such an analyst.. lol haha some people hate me for that, but my mom always tells me ''I do find it uneasy sometimes, but I still love you no matter what, no matter how many days you'll say i have this and that or i cannot get it out of my mind, you still are a great daughter and it makes you special even though it's rough'' She told me yesterday and it makes me feel that my mom will never judge it like fully like some people did in the past.. I'm just very self-suffering and also for others, but still people can still accept this part.. If they are truly loving to you, whatever your situation your in.. they will stand beside you and that is so important.
About the leading part and people pleaser situation -
Funny thing is that in love I can be leading, I am not afraid of taking the iniative for example, i know i can be a very people pleaser by always giving love and i know that has hurted me in a few dates/relationships, it's important that love is about give and return, otherwise a relationship doesn't work... You won't get pleased and you will of course make the other person happy but it is VERY important to take too, just tell yourself you are worth it too, it's not selfish at all, love is mutual right, also goes with give and take.
So just be sure the other person accepts this part of you and won't USE IT.... That's the biggest mistake in society... You need a person by your side who is giving too... doesn't have to be so much like you are, just the respect for this side and will take good care of it, not like players who want to use you like a dependent lover... and they will hang them on you. That's NOT COOL!
I know i'm very vulnerable to let this happen to myself but believe me it does get better.. it also depends on what person you have beside you..
In the past girls always told me ''Oh can you come over to my place'' and they never wanted to travel for me... :/ So I worked my ass off for them and also best friends who asked me ''do you wanna buy this'' and i always bought stuff to make them happy, how such a stupid thing is that? Now i just broke the contact and said friendship is so much more worth that money...!
It's very weird how people can be so selfish... A little isn't a big deal it's even good to make GOOD decisions and be sure of it i know i'm gaining this feeling a little more and it works to be like that to just let people know you have a life too and want to see effort from them too to make YOU happy, i know this can go wrong very easily when you are always the person making them happy, those people don't understand the rule of give and take or they forget it i know i always give and sometimes i just DON'T anymore so i can test the other person (whoever it is) if he she really puts effort in our bond, but people who are so about taking.. They will cause you pain and some can't help it, you need to let him know he has to show you love before he gains your love back, so he has to fight hard... let him show that you are not giving for nothing, SELF RESPECT!
(or she , i suppose your a guy.. i dunno, and about your orientation heh)
GOod luck dude