Section_31
Well-known member
Im just wondering.
Im 27, my wife is 24, and...we still live with my dad. This has been a huge source of guilt and embarrassment for me.
My wife's parents especially like to attack that one. They tried to talk her out of marrying me, because of my living arrangements. Now, the thing is, her and me both discussed this with my dad at length, and if we WERE to move out sure, we would be just barely scraping by, living in a shadier side of town in a 1 room appartment. That doesnt appeal to me, and she deserves so much better then that...
My dad said he wants us to stay with him where we are for now, as she is in Uni full time and she really does not have the time for a job (shes got 4 hours of HW every night, crazy woman!). Add to that, her recently realized bad anxiety trigger when she TRIED to have a job, it just wouldnt pan out. Not untill she has that dealt with enough to keep herself calm while working. So for now, at least between her, my dad, and me, it seems like the best arrangement. And its not like she isnt trying. She has goals. One of them is to be able to have a part time job, and hold it down, by the end of January. Im really proud of her for being so determined on this, especially when sheas fought with SA her whole life.
My family members wont say this to my face, but many of them have talked to my dad, thinking that my wife and I are freeloaders. He defends us, saying whats going on ect ect. Thing is I make sure were paying half of all the house expenses, just to prove the fact that we ARENT freeloading. but for some reason that just doesnt seem to make any difference. What it seems to be about is my age. "your (insert age here)" "you should be on your own right now. This makes you a failed adult".
Another part of it is the rediculously high cost of living where we are. Just very very frustrating. Western Society's view on adults who live at home, and the stigma that thats automatically a negative thing (that kid doesnt work, that kid lives off mommy and daddy, that kid ect ect) has really made me a misanthrope. I work 12 hours a day, and such. My dad respects us because of this, and tells us not to pay attention to what the rest of the family says, but it still hurts.
I just wanted to know how many other Anxiety sufferer's are in this same predicament?
Am i proud of where we live?. no. I wish more than anything that right now we had the means to get out of my dads place. Are we at least working towards that?. yes we are. Is that good enough for everyone? no it isnt. Everybody wants it done now now now, no matter how seemingly reckless it would be for us financially. Once shes done school we would be in a much better state.
Anyways...thats my rant guys. Just had a rough morning with my father-in-law about this.
Opinions?.
Im 27, my wife is 24, and...we still live with my dad. This has been a huge source of guilt and embarrassment for me.
My wife's parents especially like to attack that one. They tried to talk her out of marrying me, because of my living arrangements. Now, the thing is, her and me both discussed this with my dad at length, and if we WERE to move out sure, we would be just barely scraping by, living in a shadier side of town in a 1 room appartment. That doesnt appeal to me, and she deserves so much better then that...
My dad said he wants us to stay with him where we are for now, as she is in Uni full time and she really does not have the time for a job (shes got 4 hours of HW every night, crazy woman!). Add to that, her recently realized bad anxiety trigger when she TRIED to have a job, it just wouldnt pan out. Not untill she has that dealt with enough to keep herself calm while working. So for now, at least between her, my dad, and me, it seems like the best arrangement. And its not like she isnt trying. She has goals. One of them is to be able to have a part time job, and hold it down, by the end of January. Im really proud of her for being so determined on this, especially when sheas fought with SA her whole life.
My family members wont say this to my face, but many of them have talked to my dad, thinking that my wife and I are freeloaders. He defends us, saying whats going on ect ect. Thing is I make sure were paying half of all the house expenses, just to prove the fact that we ARENT freeloading. but for some reason that just doesnt seem to make any difference. What it seems to be about is my age. "your (insert age here)" "you should be on your own right now. This makes you a failed adult".
Another part of it is the rediculously high cost of living where we are. Just very very frustrating. Western Society's view on adults who live at home, and the stigma that thats automatically a negative thing (that kid doesnt work, that kid lives off mommy and daddy, that kid ect ect) has really made me a misanthrope. I work 12 hours a day, and such. My dad respects us because of this, and tells us not to pay attention to what the rest of the family says, but it still hurts.
I just wanted to know how many other Anxiety sufferer's are in this same predicament?
Am i proud of where we live?. no. I wish more than anything that right now we had the means to get out of my dads place. Are we at least working towards that?. yes we are. Is that good enough for everyone? no it isnt. Everybody wants it done now now now, no matter how seemingly reckless it would be for us financially. Once shes done school we would be in a much better state.
Anyways...thats my rant guys. Just had a rough morning with my father-in-law about this.
Opinions?.
