Anyone feel like they've lost their will

[206Raider]

Not like suicidal or nothing crazy but just feel like you're done trying. I feel like I've felt like this for way over a year and I want to change but all I can think about is the negative thoughts that I'm just not built for this. I had lots of friends, they are all gone now and I feel abandoned. I've had so many people drop out of my life that I just don't know how to trust anymore. I just hate to say it but I feel like I'm just bearing through this life like a bad roller coaster and waiting for it to end. All my memories do is bring me misery from abuse to heartbreak. I can't help but feel trapped in this jungle and I want out but I just don't know how to anymore, I'm shell shocked, literally every step I take is 2 steps backwards. Anybody out there in the same position?

 

[laure15]

When I go on Facebook and see happy pictures of my friends or go outside and see people having fun, I feel like a loser who hasn't accomplished much in life. I tend to remember negative events in life and so my memories are filled with bad things; I just wish I had more positive memories.
But in the end, I know I can't give up just yet.
Don't let the negative thoughts define you. I try to separate myself from my thoughts because my thoughts don't necessarily reflect what's in my heart.

 

[dottie]

 

[Bustn Justin]

Sorry to hear there. I have those feeelings myself since I feel isolate and unloved. But taking your life , once you do that there is no going back. Feel free to PM me. I will be glad to listen.

 

[Fighter86]

I think I pretty much gave up. I almost no longer play out the unhappy past in my mind. I chose to forget the past the more the merrier so I don't have Facebook, I don't even join my school alumnai nor go back on visits to my old school. I purged the past and keep it buried. I am not living a good present life either but I just hang on such a waste of space.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Sorta i just want to be alone 5 out of 7 days of the week. I want to know ppl are there but then i just like to be on my own, but not on my own with other people around

 

[giantyx]

Ive lost my will long ago. Go everywhere also feel the same, only anxiety n despair in my heart, no mood to do anything anymore. Things that i used to like, playing football, keeping pets no longer make me happy

 

[giantyx]

Chapter 1 : i have SA
Chapter 2 : fight SA
Chapter 3 : i still have SA
Chapter 4 : repeat chapter 1 to 3 until u had enough and move on to chapter 5
Chapter 5 : wait for miracle

 

[dottie]

Chapter 6: self acceptance

 

[206Raider]

Oh I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm suicidal. I'm not, I just keep trying to think positive and the negativity always steam rolls me over. I'm deflated. I think that's what I struggle with, accepting that this is the person I am now. I feel like ashamed of myself though cause I want to be this person I was when I was in junior high, "the man". Although that "man" got me where I am today and I feel like I'm paying for it. I'm a good person, smart and always have been but I was trying to be Mr. Cool in school and ended up dropping out to solidify my "rebel" phase I was in. I lost all my friends through the years after, and I don't want to reunite with them becuase they are all either into bad things or my good friends I feel like such and idiot becuase I could have been right there with them at a University. I guess what I'm saying is, I felt the need to be this "cool" guy cause it got me friends but the wrong kind, but I was actively out in the world everyday. Once I became on my own, I've been totally anxious of the world and filled with regret for my choices. Although I have since gone back to college, it feels empty, I struggle letting people in close and explaining how I got to where I am.

Like my brethren said above, I just want to be alone 5 out of 7 days a week, though at the same time the silence can be deafening and I feel like I'm just sulking, but if I'm out, I'm a nervous wreck, all I really want is a piece of mind.

and dottie, thank you. I'm saving these pictures cause I do want to get better but I'm weary of it ever happening

 

[Engulfed707]

You're not alone, i'm exhausted with this feeling every day literally for like the past few months which is why i joined spw. Although in my case i have progressively been getting worse with my anxiety and a.s., i find it relaxing to ignore the outside as much as possible and listen to old songs i used to play back when i was happy, the good nostalgia feeling. And ive also found myself a hobby which is drawing stuff and i got a dog as well to keep company.
I either like being alone or with 1 good friend. more than one person around and i get too nervous. but 1 is a good number for me because i can talk to someone that i trust and tell them how i feel which helps a lot.
if you every want to talk i'm all ears, let me know. good luck and stay positive

 

[pbgirl]

I would have to say many times. I am 30 and have nothing to show for my life.
My life is a wave it has it's ups and then comes crashing down and I mean real bad.
I was in a real good job, good pay, good relationship of 7 years 2 of which were married...went abroad to try and live and after that life has been a rollercoaster. Marriage failed. Got job but they never paid all my wages so left. To this day they owe me over £1000 which I will never see.
Relationships have been crazy first left me in debt of over £5000 and has never paid a penny back, 2nd ended by a silent breakup i.e. he was in Scotland I went back home and for 8 months heard nothing and third decided after 5 months he werent ready for a relationship, was moving closer and he claims I was cornering him got job, handed in resignation all for it to fall apart....so now what do I have:
well no friends, no job, living with parents and limited amount of money.....lesson learnt...yeh

Hopefully will have job at end of month, move out of area, gain new friends (think I need one after not really having any for 7-8 years) and settle and if i find a relationship just hope its a good one...(who wants kids)

I am always trying to think positive but with the stuff that has gone on its hard and I do ask myself why am i here....

 

[Foxface]

Just about, yes.