anybody else here hate their family
- Thread starter aloneloner
- Start date
R3K
Well-known member
I went to college for my parents for five years. I never wanted to go, because of my SA, but I felt trapped and had to go. I bombed hardcore after the 3rd semester basically, but I kept going and retaking classes because my parents insisted I needed a college degree for future success and marriage/children etc. if they'd said "meh, do what you want after high school..." or "try college for a while and if you don't like it that's okay."
but no, they had to use guilt, inter-family competition, and literal blackmail on me... and make me keep going so they could feel good about how they were raising/guiding their son in their own visage. by their own standards. my whole life, I fought against this image and standard set they were ladle'ing onto my head like acid. I spent the first 25 years of my life desperately trying to escape their schemes and mechanisms. it was very, very ugly and difficult. now I'm free, and all I want to do is spite and denude anything and everything that reminds me of them.
maybe you can say I hate them, but it's not a hate-of-the-moment thing. more like, I hate my parents pre-25th birthday.
but no, they had to use guilt, inter-family competition, and literal blackmail on me... and make me keep going so they could feel good about how they were raising/guiding their son in their own visage. by their own standards. my whole life, I fought against this image and standard set they were ladle'ing onto my head like acid. I spent the first 25 years of my life desperately trying to escape their schemes and mechanisms. it was very, very ugly and difficult. now I'm free, and all I want to do is spite and denude anything and everything that reminds me of them.
maybe you can say I hate them, but it's not a hate-of-the-moment thing. more like, I hate my parents pre-25th birthday.
FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
I went to college for my parents for five years. I never wanted to go, because of my SA, but I felt trapped and had to go. I bombed hardcore after the 3rd semester basically, but I kept going and retaking classes because my parents insisted I needed a college degree for future success and marriage/children etc. if they'd said "meh, do what you want after high school..." or "try college for a while and if you don't like it that's okay."
but no, they had to use guilt, inter-family competition, and literal blackmail on me... and make me keep going so they could feel good about how they were raising/guiding their son in their own visage. by their own standards. my whole life, I fought against this image and standard set they were ladle'ing onto my head like acid. I spent the first 25 years of my life desperately trying to escape their schemes and mechanisms. it was very, very ugly and difficult. now I'm free, and all I want to do is spite and denude anything and everything that reminds me of them.
maybe you can say I hate them, but it's not a hate-of-the-moment thing. more like, I hate my parents pre-25th birthday.
I never want to go to college either, and same as you, my family tries to somewhat guilt me that because I don't have friends, I should go to college just to fulfill my own life. College online, maybe I'd do that, but I won't ever go to real college. And, you know, if I did have friends, I'm pretty sure I'd still be depressed since I have a family who keeps mocking me and showing me they don't care of my own feeling at all.
but no, they had to use guilt, inter-family competition, and literal blackmail on me... and make me keep going so they could feel good about how they were raising/guiding their son in their own visage. by their own standards. my whole life, I fought against this image and standard set they were ladle'ing onto my head like acid. I spent the first 25 years of my life desperately trying to escape their schemes and mechanisms. it was very, very ugly and difficult. now I'm free, and all I want to do is spite and denude anything and everything that reminds me of them.
maybe you can say I hate them, but it's not a hate-of-the-moment thing. more like, I hate my parents pre-25th birthday.
I never want to go to college either, and same as you, my family tries to somewhat guilt me that because I don't have friends, I should go to college just to fulfill my own life. College online, maybe I'd do that, but I won't ever go to real college. And, you know, if I did have friends, I'm pretty sure I'd still be depressed since I have a family who keeps mocking me and showing me they don't care of my own feeling at all.
I don't hate my family, but:
I wish my dad didn't tell me to be a doctor. I majored in pre-health because of him. He puts his aspirations on me and wants me to live his dreams. At first, I had pre-med in mind, then went the pre-nursing as a sort of "compromise" because I didn't have the grades to be pre-med. Finally I broke away and said I had enough. Now he doesn't tell me what career I should pursue, but it felt like I had wasted years and thousands of dollars in college.
I could have majored in computer science or engineering if I had more encouragement, but it's too late because I spent so much time in college that I don't think I will qualify for federal grants anymore. Now i'm stuck doing business, which is the last thing I want to do. Social interaction does not come naturally to me. I am taking acting courses online which shows how desperate I am.
Edit: Now I'm thinking, what if I had gone with biological engineering, which is a cross between engineering and medicine? I would have pleased my dad and do something that I have an interest in. But then again, I don't have the money to do another 4 years of education. Engineering's pretty intensive.
According to social theory, there are 5 types of power: Coercive, Reward, Legitimate, Referent, and Expert. Expert power is the most appealing to me. Growing up, I always had this image of myself as an expert in something useful. Either I get a Phd or MD in some field, or I become an engineer. But guess what? None of this is ever gonna happen, because I'm out of time and money. I can't go back to school anymore. This is my last semester. I will probably get a job in business and start doing business stuff. I won't be no expert in medicine, biotech, engineering, etc. I feel like a loser when thinking about this, but life goes on regardless...
I wish my dad didn't tell me to be a doctor. I majored in pre-health because of him. He puts his aspirations on me and wants me to live his dreams. At first, I had pre-med in mind, then went the pre-nursing as a sort of "compromise" because I didn't have the grades to be pre-med. Finally I broke away and said I had enough. Now he doesn't tell me what career I should pursue, but it felt like I had wasted years and thousands of dollars in college.
I could have majored in computer science or engineering if I had more encouragement, but it's too late because I spent so much time in college that I don't think I will qualify for federal grants anymore. Now i'm stuck doing business, which is the last thing I want to do. Social interaction does not come naturally to me. I am taking acting courses online which shows how desperate I am.
Edit: Now I'm thinking, what if I had gone with biological engineering, which is a cross between engineering and medicine? I would have pleased my dad and do something that I have an interest in. But then again, I don't have the money to do another 4 years of education. Engineering's pretty intensive.
According to social theory, there are 5 types of power: Coercive, Reward, Legitimate, Referent, and Expert. Expert power is the most appealing to me. Growing up, I always had this image of myself as an expert in something useful. Either I get a Phd or MD in some field, or I become an engineer. But guess what? None of this is ever gonna happen, because I'm out of time and money. I can't go back to school anymore. This is my last semester. I will probably get a job in business and start doing business stuff. I won't be no expert in medicine, biotech, engineering, etc. I feel like a loser when thinking about this, but life goes on regardless...
Last edited:
I don't hate my family but my relatives. Personally, I felt that my relationship with a new friend is much better than my relationship with my relatives, not to mention cousin and niece who are just around my age. So, whenever we have family gatherings, I tend to avoid them by staying in the room. Feeling awkward and embarrassed when my parents told me to come out of the room and mix with them. I just feel that there isn't any connections between me and my relatives at all, it's like we are from 2 different worlds. I'm sorry to say that I hope that I don't have to see them again for the rest of my life. :
:
:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hate...? Naw! Well, just ma dad. Other than that, ah just hate how they treat me, most o' the time. An adult yet still look upon like am still a child. ::
:
Capsaicin
Well-known member
I haven't seen a single instance of empathy from my mother in the two decades I've been alive... I don't know if it's even something she experiences. She seems completely clueless about how things that don't affect her affect other people, how her actions affect others, and when and why others are suffering.
A few people have told me they pity her when I let them in on what she's like behind the public face, but they didn't have to grow up with her. :idontknow:
A few people have told me they pity her when I let them in on what she's like behind the public face, but they didn't have to grow up with her. :idontknow:
Last edited:
ffeev223234
Well-known member
hate or love stop in the name of love funny funny funny
Biev
Well-known member
The way I see it, there are two ways to become an expert : studies, and experience. If going back to school is not an option right now, maybe you should focus on finding something meaningful to you, and put effort into it until you become an expert at it. You might get the opportunity to pursue higher studies later in life, but you don't need a fancy degree to start building up your expertise. Just a suggestion, which I'm also trying to follow.
destructoroflife
Well-known member
They made me feel frustrated before sometimes.
After an event in my life I hate them both, especially my mom.
After an event in my life I hate them both, especially my mom.
Biev
Well-known member
We had a rough patch, but I get along pretty well with both of them now, and also with their significant others and step-kids. It was hard work to get to that point, and I'm still working on it. I should really contact them more and make a bigger effort to be involved in their lives.