Anybody else cause this?

[EasySkanking]

Yeah, I've noticed that due to my Social Anxiety, I cause a lot of people to get anxious around me, and even go as far as avoid me. The funny thing is that this only happens with the people that are kind/caring and more perceptive(so as to notice I have a self-esteem problem).

So does this happen to anyone else? Does your anxiety cause others to be anxious around you or avoid you? I'm just interested...

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I've always wondered the same thing. I have noticed that when I feel uncomfortable around people, people tend to feel uncomfortable around me, especially during those awkward silences. Once me and a friend run out of topics, we'll sit in silence for a while and usually when I glance over at my friend they'll seem tense and aloof. Most likely because the atmosphere around us gets pretty gloomy once the silence becomes overwhelming. Sometimes people will come up with a random excuse like "I have to go to my locker" or "I'm going to the cafeteria" and once they leave they don't come back and if I see that same person later on in school they'll look uncomfortable when we make eye contact unless I wave, then they briefly wave back but they still seem a bit awkward about it.

 

[EasySkanking]

^True that .

I just find it hard to believe that I would cause other people to feel awkward. I don't feel I'm even good enough for THAT. It's amusing. It makes me think that maybe we're all more alike thant I think .

 

[EasySkanking]

I've also noticed this recently:

When I feel comfortable and calm, people approach me more, strangers talk to me and feel comfortable with me. Perhaps it is true afterall: "likes attract".

Sorry, just thinking "out loud"

 

[tweetebird]

Yes, I've noticed (haha quite the understatement there) this about myself as well. I've also wondered why it can be such a damper on friendships, a few awkward moments.. Is it really the most horrible thing to happen between two people?

Wait, strangers come up and talk to you when you feel calm and comfortable? Yikes, that's motivation enough for me to stay anxious! :: Good for you

 

[EasySkanking]

By the way, what I mean by people getting "anxious" around me - is literally getting anxious. They shake/tremble, blush, mumble or even avoid me, just like if they had SA themselves (not always and not all the symptoms at once). Maybe my symptoms ^the above of social anxiety rub off on them when they see me do them?

(Maybe SA is contagious?? ) Oh the horrors!!

 

[EasySkanking]

Wait, strangers come up and talk to you when you feel calm and comfortable? Yikes, that's motivation enough for me to stay anxious! :: Good for you

Why? Don't you want to get over your SA, silly? ::

 

[tweetebird]

Yes of course... but my SA wants to stay put...I guess it's comfy in my head, rent free and all

 

[EasySkanking]

^Yeah, if there's anything we have learned from SA, is that it is the most selfish, evil, disrespectful, and persistant son of a bitch!

Love your sig btw man, I am exactly like that

 

[panicsurvivor]

Yeah a lot of people are sensitive to other peoples energy. Everybody is to a certain degree, but some people more so than others. And it is just natural that if you are putting out a lot of nervous energy people might be inclined to step away. Some of the people who you talked about who are smarter and more sensitive, and may recognize your sa may just be trying to give you space, cause they think you want it, and not cause they are avoiding you.

 

[hoddesdon]

Yeah a lot of people are sensitive to other peoples energy. Everybody is to a certain degree, but some people more so than others. And it is just natural that if you are putting out a lot of nervous energy people might be inclined to step away. Some of the people who you talked about who are smarter and more sensitive, and may recognize your sa may just be trying to give you space, cause they think you want it, and not cause they are avoiding you.

That is a good point. In Behavioural Cognitive Therapy thinking you are being avoided, rather than shown consideration is called "catastrophising". You do not know what they are thinking, so there is no reason to be sure that it is not consideration.

 

[EasySkanking]

^True that.

Wow panic, you are very wise and very right . Thanks

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yes. Not often. Not realizing what has happened until situation as finished and they leave.

 

[Iseesky]

Yeah, I've definitely noticed that!

Quite funny actually! I don't think I come across as shy, though. I'm very comfortable around 'odd' people and other shy people and have no problems talking to them. I'm sure some more outgoing people see this and just assume that I'm being snobby when they decide to talk to me and I ignore them and give short answers.