Anxious about text received

cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
An old friend of mine is in town for BlackHat. I got a text from him saying he'd like to see me before leaving town. He told me late night would be better and the hotel he's at.

Here's the deal:
he's getting married in a month!!
We have been friends for about 10 years & I know what he wants.
I know it's disrespectful to his fiancé as for what he 'thinks' he wants to happen.

How should I approach it? Obviously say no...

Oh, how I know he is just looking for something to satiate his umm appetite is that he texted me pic of ..... I deleted and did not reciprocate.

And I know this is such a silly, unobtrusive thing to get anxious over, but that's how my anxiety works.
 
Jungle

Jungle

1
Hello,

Two ways :

Be honest about it :

-Tell him that this would hurt your feelings as well as your integrity, in addition to both your long friendship that wouldn't be the same after that.

-Tell him that this is wrong, this would make you feel bad with yourself, and that you wouldn't have the strength to face his wife after that.

-Tell him that you are in a relationship, and that you couldn't cheat on your boyfriend. (assuming this is the case)

-Tell him that you are a religious person, and that intercourse before marriage is a sin. (assuming you are)

OR

Find an excuse :

-Not to go, by telling him that you are busy (probably not a good idea when being that late).

-Tell him that you got to babysit some friend's children until their parents get back home late at night.



I am not such a bulls***er myself, so sorry if these aren't high quality excuses.

{not valid anymore} The tricky part though is to make him know that you know what he wants, without actually saying it, if that's what makes you anxious.{not valid anymore}

Good luck cowboy, just don't let him draw his gun on you, sorry for the pun.

[EDIT] : I thought I misunderstood about him sending you a picture of his genitals, apparently I wasn't mistaken after reading the below replies, this is disgusting.
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Tell him that sending you di.ck pics while being about to get married is not only disrespectful to his fiancée, but also to yourself and your friendship. Tell him that you were considering meeting up with him (to catch up) until he sent you said picture, but that you were intending to meet up with his personality, not his junk.

Tell him good luck with everything, but no thanks. Also, he sucks.
 
zharl

zharl

Well-known member
Also, this isn't your fault. This isn't a matter of SA. I'm pretty sure anyone would be reasonably upset upon receiving such a text. It's not cool and it's a sh*tty act as a person. Nothing to do with your SA, except that it probably doesn't help you with anything you may be struggling with.

If you're upset (whether it takes the form of anger, anxiety, sadness, etc.), you have every right to be.
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
I know this kind of thing happens all the time these days, but I'm still appalled by the number of guys who think it's somehow appropriate to send this type of picture to a woman—or anyone—unsolicited. They're called privates for a reason, and that's how they ought to remain.

I don't know the position of the law in matters like this, but it seems like sexual harassment at the very least and possibly more. Regardless, it should not be tolerated. It is certainly not the behavior of a gentleman—or a friend. :no:

If he texts you again, I suggest that you forward it to his fiancée, if possible, pics and all. She has a right to know what she's getting into.

You might mention it to your brother as well, assuming he's still in law enforcement. Perhaps he and some of his colleagues could pay the guy a visit. :bat:
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Send the txt to his fiance's phone.

(get him to send another one and send it). Why?

Because you'll be saving this other person a whole lot of pain and heartache by showing them just who they are marrying.
 
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