matthew_
Active member
Hey there.
I am a 27 year old male from Australia, Sydney.
Interests: Film Making, Screenwriting, Painting, Visual Arts, etc.
Like everyone, the title of a disorder is hardly a universal quantification. I have come to some level of maturity and understanding with my extreme generalized social phobia.I have exposed myself to harsh situations on purpose, like going to film school - where I completed many aspects of acting and presenting (pitching ideas) to large audiences as well as socializing with a lot of people who were my peers or slightly younger. (I was about 25 at the time, they were ranging from 17 to 23ish)People my age, who might find me attractive, ugly, or comparable, are the major people who I am mostly affected by.
Film School, did however allow me to grow, and understand from a less - fantasy perspective - that people don't always think in the same way I do (being analytical is not always a bad thing). And once you get a handle on that concept, then reprogramming that deep seeded conditioning becomes something achievable.
I am fortunate enough to have a dream, and with a set goal,overcoming at least has a guideline. I want to make films that are a huge departure from the norm.
I never had a normal teenage life, instead locking myself away from people for many, many, many, years due to certain issues I had with myself. This prevented me from living a normal teenage life. And the few moments of normal life that I did lead, where trampled on by complex people who made me feel bad about myself in a deeply psychological way, even if part of it was my imagination.
Yes, I am complicated.
Objectively, I am good looking, smart, creative, although probably not normal. Thank god for that (mostly).
I am not saying this to boost my ego, but rather do what is hard when you have rather severe social phobia, understand the cement of reality under the projected fantasy created by conditioning yourself that you are "horrible, ugly, worthless, etc".
Something I miss however (If missing is never having, which i suspect it is), is ever being able to talk to someone else with social phobia.
People build friendships on small insignificant things, like enjoying wine tasting or playing video games, or even going for the same sports team. Yet social phobia, at least for me, is a huge aspect of my life. And keeping it constantly under a veil is exactly the kind of thinking that I am trying to avoid, I would imagine this would be the same for many others.
Without reading more than a single post on these boards, I have a strong feeling that having social phobia is partly reflective of a certain sensitivity, and while many people try to fix this by becoming like everyone else, I personally don’t think this is the black and white solution. But rather accepting what you are, and then using it with strength and courage to overcome regardless.
Anyway, Nice to meet you all, sorry for the rant.
I am a 27 year old male from Australia, Sydney.
Interests: Film Making, Screenwriting, Painting, Visual Arts, etc.
Like everyone, the title of a disorder is hardly a universal quantification. I have come to some level of maturity and understanding with my extreme generalized social phobia.I have exposed myself to harsh situations on purpose, like going to film school - where I completed many aspects of acting and presenting (pitching ideas) to large audiences as well as socializing with a lot of people who were my peers or slightly younger. (I was about 25 at the time, they were ranging from 17 to 23ish)People my age, who might find me attractive, ugly, or comparable, are the major people who I am mostly affected by.
Film School, did however allow me to grow, and understand from a less - fantasy perspective - that people don't always think in the same way I do (being analytical is not always a bad thing). And once you get a handle on that concept, then reprogramming that deep seeded conditioning becomes something achievable.
I am fortunate enough to have a dream, and with a set goal,overcoming at least has a guideline. I want to make films that are a huge departure from the norm.
I never had a normal teenage life, instead locking myself away from people for many, many, many, years due to certain issues I had with myself. This prevented me from living a normal teenage life. And the few moments of normal life that I did lead, where trampled on by complex people who made me feel bad about myself in a deeply psychological way, even if part of it was my imagination.
Yes, I am complicated.
Objectively, I am good looking, smart, creative, although probably not normal. Thank god for that (mostly).
I am not saying this to boost my ego, but rather do what is hard when you have rather severe social phobia, understand the cement of reality under the projected fantasy created by conditioning yourself that you are "horrible, ugly, worthless, etc".
Something I miss however (If missing is never having, which i suspect it is), is ever being able to talk to someone else with social phobia.
People build friendships on small insignificant things, like enjoying wine tasting or playing video games, or even going for the same sports team. Yet social phobia, at least for me, is a huge aspect of my life. And keeping it constantly under a veil is exactly the kind of thinking that I am trying to avoid, I would imagine this would be the same for many others.
Without reading more than a single post on these boards, I have a strong feeling that having social phobia is partly reflective of a certain sensitivity, and while many people try to fix this by becoming like everyone else, I personally don’t think this is the black and white solution. But rather accepting what you are, and then using it with strength and courage to overcome regardless.
Anyway, Nice to meet you all, sorry for the rant.
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It's good that you're able to see yourself in that way, and that you found the confidence to pursue your interests.
