RedRibbons
Well-known member
No one said you had to read this thread.. It's what this one thread is about. How people misjudge 'pretty' people.. As being someone who shouldn't have social phobia.
An answer from the so-called 'good looking'
- Thread starter Deane
- Start date
gsmax5
Well-known member
True, but it's kind of hard to feel sorry for people who call themselves "good looking". It really makes them seem kind of smug.
But that's just me.
In that same vein... no one said you had to read that comment. It's a free forum - everyone has their opinions.
RedRibbons
Well-known member
It's not exactly smug.. If people were running around bragging about their beauty.. Then I'd call that smug.. These are people who feel stress and anxiety about their looks.. And are relating to the OP..
How would you feel if there was a post about people who had stress and anxiety because they thought they were ugly.. Would you treat it differently? be honest... It wouldn't seem smug would it? How would it seem? I think a lot of people would let it slide..
Lea
Banned
I believe the original poster is unhappy but seems to me quite selfish to complain about being too attractive. It is not fair towards those less lucky, not to say toward disabled or disfigured people, people who are blind, ill, homeless etc. (a lot to choose from). You should be grateful to the nature that she gave you such gift and not throwing it back to her face. Anyway don´t worry, beauty is just a temporary thing and you will probably regret it one day.
gsmax5
Well-known member
Well, I guess I could understand someone with supermodel looks and social phobia depressed because of what they are missing out on.
But if you're a really attractive girl, guys will be all over you whether or not you have social anxiety; the adoration will create a more pleasurable association with social interaction so any stress during social situations will be lower than an average looking girl.
Either way, any judgemental posts to the original poster are done out of pure jealousy or disgust of an ungrateful attitude. The 'judgemental' posters are really just upset that the attractive people are getting just as much sympathy as them.
I'll admit that the original poster has a point in that people should have been more welcoming, but that's all she really has to be grumpy about.
aizome
Active member
i'm often told i'm lucky because i'm tall. 5'11" and female. i disagree. whenever i go out in public i stick out so much, i'd do absolutely anything to be shorter so i could just slip by people unnoticed; instead i'm the monstrous ogre that's way bigger than a girl should be.
what i'm trying to say is, the grass is always greener. it really does apply to everything - good looking people feel they wouldn't stick out as much if they didn't look the way they do, plainer looking people feel they would be more socially confident if they felt people were looking at them in a positive way as opposed to a negative one.
it'd be super if we could all be more understanding and accepting of eachother instead of this one-sided crap. that goes for both sides too.
editsauce:
this isn't necessarily true. i for one react really badly if a man is "all over me", i start questioning his intentions, distrust him immediately, and usually try to run away -- "attractive" does not always equal "loves attention". it's not always a pleasurable experience.
what i'm trying to say is, the grass is always greener. it really does apply to everything - good looking people feel they wouldn't stick out as much if they didn't look the way they do, plainer looking people feel they would be more socially confident if they felt people were looking at them in a positive way as opposed to a negative one.
it'd be super if we could all be more understanding and accepting of eachother instead of this one-sided crap. that goes for both sides too.
editsauce:
this isn't necessarily true. i for one react really badly if a man is "all over me", i start questioning his intentions, distrust him immediately, and usually try to run away -- "attractive" does not always equal "loves attention". it's not always a pleasurable experience.
Last edited:
SammyT
Well-known member
I sometimes think i'm not such a freak and might be pretty good looking. I get told I am good looking but that doesn't fit into my view of myself within the world. Who knows, maybe I am living with such a depressed and mental vision of myself.. and it is all delusion...
I wish I could get rid of this feeling, like i'm not comfortable in my own skin - anyone know what I mean?
Its almost like i'm viewing myself in third person perspective most of the time!
I just visited doctors, and not my usual one - and I wonder if I am someone who doesn't look like they have anything to be depressed or anxious about, because I had to explain my head quite a bit to the guy I was seeing, and he was just like...there's no magic pill. How many times have I heard that shit... I know there isn't
His mentality was that if i'm not suicidal then I should just endure the anxiety and get on with things. Do I need to look real ****ed up to qualify for this diagnosis?
Sometimes I believe I do look wierd and sometimes I don't, but situations like this really make me wonder if I don't look so strange after all. But then I would never have thought such a delusion could be so warped and strong. Blah...anyway, fair play to the doctor - he said I didn't look convinced of what he was saying and I said no... I don't enjoy being on medication that doesn't seem to take the edge off the anxiety, so he upped my dosage. Here's hoping for some relief. And to any medication nay sayers out there I say fu - taking medication is an endurance test, to begin with, if you can get through the first month which I liken to a 4 week long ecstasy comedown, then you're still not guaranteed relief. People that resort to medication are not weak, even though it makes me feel weak that I have to take shit - its not like it's an easy ride on them.
I wish I could get rid of this feeling, like i'm not comfortable in my own skin - anyone know what I mean?
Its almost like i'm viewing myself in third person perspective most of the time!
I just visited doctors, and not my usual one - and I wonder if I am someone who doesn't look like they have anything to be depressed or anxious about, because I had to explain my head quite a bit to the guy I was seeing, and he was just like...there's no magic pill. How many times have I heard that shit... I know there isn't
His mentality was that if i'm not suicidal then I should just endure the anxiety and get on with things. Do I need to look real ****ed up to qualify for this diagnosis?
Sometimes I believe I do look wierd and sometimes I don't, but situations like this really make me wonder if I don't look so strange after all. But then I would never have thought such a delusion could be so warped and strong. Blah...anyway, fair play to the doctor - he said I didn't look convinced of what he was saying and I said no... I don't enjoy being on medication that doesn't seem to take the edge off the anxiety, so he upped my dosage. Here's hoping for some relief. And to any medication nay sayers out there I say fu - taking medication is an endurance test, to begin with, if you can get through the first month which I liken to a 4 week long ecstasy comedown, then you're still not guaranteed relief. People that resort to medication are not weak, even though it makes me feel weak that I have to take shit - its not like it's an easy ride on them.
aizome
Active member
i still consider myself repulsive. :
:Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings- this post is so honest and deep. And yes, I too fear to meet male authority persons- I get panic attacks when I have to, and I try to hide as much as I can- physically and mentally. However, this doesn't help- I have been in situations that clearly turned out to become non-professional on part of those "authorities"- by means of stupid jokes or just plain sexism. I get the feeling that they do that intentionally.
HeartacheHURTS
Member
When I was little, probably 13-14, my grandpa picked a tree limb, and threatened to 'whip' me with it over and over again, until I ran up and down the driveway about 10 times to get some of that 'damn fat' off me...the rest of the family 'aunts and uncles, cousins,' were outside snickering as well about it.
I dated a guy, that after a while, maybe 6 months broke up with me, because I wasn't as attractive as a friend of mine...he said, "I thought you said you wanted to lose a few pounds. We're just not working out, and I need someone that's going to look good by my side out in public. I need someone I can look good in public with, sorry".
After those two episodes, I can't seem to get the guts at all to go in public anymore...and when I HAVE to, I come back home and cry for hours in my room, scared to death of who might have seen me, wondering what these pricks were laughing about, and convincing myself it was me.
If those two episodes had never occoured, maybe things wouldn't be as bad as they are today.
Maybe it's not looks alone, but certain things that happen because of looks. But I gotta say...it's much worse to be humiliated to the core, or hit or pushed away because of being ugly. When this is all you go through for the biggest part of your life, you mostly give in, and accept that you're what they see you to be.
I doubt that you'd be hit for being pretty, I doubt that you'd be humiliated for being pretty, because pretty people aren't [nasty, filthy, gross,] and I'm sure people wouldn't make puking sounds at a pretty person.
You can be pretty/ugly and have SA, but honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with how you get it or if you can get it, but I think the way people treat you because of looks can make it more severe in both cases.
I dated a guy, that after a while, maybe 6 months broke up with me, because I wasn't as attractive as a friend of mine...he said, "I thought you said you wanted to lose a few pounds. We're just not working out, and I need someone that's going to look good by my side out in public. I need someone I can look good in public with, sorry".
After those two episodes, I can't seem to get the guts at all to go in public anymore...and when I HAVE to, I come back home and cry for hours in my room, scared to death of who might have seen me, wondering what these pricks were laughing about, and convincing myself it was me.
If those two episodes had never occoured, maybe things wouldn't be as bad as they are today.
Maybe it's not looks alone, but certain things that happen because of looks. But I gotta say...it's much worse to be humiliated to the core, or hit or pushed away because of being ugly. When this is all you go through for the biggest part of your life, you mostly give in, and accept that you're what they see you to be.
I doubt that you'd be hit for being pretty, I doubt that you'd be humiliated for being pretty, because pretty people aren't [nasty, filthy, gross,] and I'm sure people wouldn't make puking sounds at a pretty person.
You can be pretty/ugly and have SA, but honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with how you get it or if you can get it, but I think the way people treat you because of looks can make it more severe in both cases.