Am i a Pethetic selfish cowardly dumb and arrogant person?

Uix

Member
An article: http://www.revelife.com/vwagenjetta/667491162/fear-of-judgement/

I've noticed a type of fear in some of my closest friends that is holding them back from living full lives, and recent events have inspired me to come out and say something about it. The fear I'm talking about is that of offending others, and of others' judgement. People with issues such as these are so worried about others being hurt or upset by their actions, or even their presence (amongst a specific crowd), that they will avoid even the most enjoyable of situations because of it.

There have been times when I've let some things slide in my life because I didn't want to offend those involved (simply to avoid unwanted or unnecessary conflict). I believe all of us have at one time or another. Avoiding embarrassment is human nature. But going out of your way to avoid any and all embarrassment, or judgement, or offense is a pathetic way to live. Really pathetic! Here's why...

#1 - It's selfish. When we hold our tongue instead of speaking up, or keep away from situations where people might think less of us for whatever reason, we no longer care about helping others move forward in life. We only care about dodging conflict and keeping things comfortable for ourselves.

#2 - It's cowardly. The refusal to voice our opinion regardless of who might be offended shows our lack of courage. It reveals the ugly truth that we allow others to intimidate us into submission, and basically lead our lives for us. Proverbs 29:25 says, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." If we flee from, or dodge, the judgement of others rather than trust in the Lord's safety, we are not at all living in the way God calls us to live. Isaiah 44:9b says, "Those who [speak up for sinners] are blind; ignorant to their own shame." I believe that not speaking up against sin is no different than speaking on its behalf.

#3 - It's dumb. Offending GOD, whose judgement is far more important than that of mere humans, is a lot worse than offending a friend, a community, or an individual; especially someone you don't know, and will probably never see again. Offending God has eternal ramifications. THAT should concern us more than someone's precious little feelings getting ruffled (yours included).

#4 - It's arrogant. You are a sinner. I am a sinner. Everyone is a sinner. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Bad company corrupts good morals"; avoiding contact with someone for fear of being seen with a sinner, however, is not at all what this verse is talking about. You shouldn't be afraid to be seen with someone who's "sinful lifestyle choices" you don't approve of because you're no less of a sinner than they are. Just because you sin less, doesn't mean you're sinless.

Here's my point. Don't let fear (or low self esteem) hold you back from living out God's purpose for your life. Proverbs 19:21 says, "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." God's plan for your life cannot be avoided and putting it off will only give you less time to fulfill it in the end. Be bold in your faith, avoid and speak out against sin, and trust the Lord's judgement rather than fearing the world's.

I guess so..
 

Satine

Well-known member
I don't think there's any need to include the religion in there, but I'd say that having spent many years being constantly on my toes trying not to offend people, I was far less comfortable than I am now. Now, I say what I think and if someone doesn't like it, they should say so. But I'm not going to pretend to read others' minds: I don't know whether a person will be offended by what I do or say or not, it's up to them to state it.

And when I find that someone has views very different to mine, I just part company with them, unless we both get a kick out of debating different points.
 

Xavier91

Active member
if u take the whole religion views from the author of the article there are a couple of good messages.
 

Lea

Banned
The article is plain stupid. Bible by itself is not, it´s the people who often explain it´s sayings in their twisted ways and use them for reasons that suit them or to support their twisted views.
 

magic

Member
if u take the whole religion views from the author of the article there are a couple of good messages.

I agree,saying that though the author should also take into account that there are a lot of SP sufferers that are fighting it all the way,finding the strength courage and determination to succeed in life.In a way the author is kind of narrow minded.
 

madmike

Well-known member
Maybe God is just a metaphor for Good. We should defend what we feel is good and is correct. The bible quotes aren't necessary in the article, but they don't make it any less valuable either. It's a very useful and very true article!
 

worrywort

Well-known member
no, you're not a pathetic, cowardly, selfish person....You're more likely a very interesting, compassionate, brave and insightful person, and deep down I'm sure you know it too.

In terms of right and wrong, technically I think this guy is right, but the angle of the article if all askew.

Firstly, nobody's perfect, everybody's at their own place on their own journeys through life, and I'm sure everybody has moments of selfishness, and arrogance and cowardice....you wouldn't call a war veteran selfish for not wanting to go back to vietnam or wherever....or somebody, who's best friend died on stage, a coward for getting stage fright....[maybe not the best examples!].....but my point is that different people experience different levels of fear in different situations....and we obviously experience a lot more fear in social situations than most people.....so these ideals may be a little harder for us and may take a little more time to reach.

the other thing is, this guy has quoted the bible a lot but he seems to have missed out an even bigger message that comes from the bible which is that God forgives us and loves us no matter who we are or where we're at in life....the point of the bible is not to make bad people good, it's to make dead people live...[I heard that somewhere! I'm not sure what it means!....sounds cool though!].....but my point is, my understanding of the basic message in the bible is that it's not about trying to be a good person so that we can earn Gods love....God knows we're all messed up fragile people that make mistakes and do bad things sometimes, but he loves us anyway, and the hope is that we'll choose to do the right thing on our own, at our own pace.....purely because it's the right thing and not because we're guilt ridden or trying to earn gods favour.
 

Uix

Member
I knew before i read that article that i in a way was a selfish person. it makes sence, i don't care for the religious stuff he puts in it. but i can't help but think i'm selfish at times. I don't appear to be a selfish person and i can't stand arrogant people and have every intention of being the nicest person i can be.

It's selfish. When we hold our tongue instead of speaking up, or keep away from situations where people might think less of us for whatever reason, we no longer care about helping others move forward in life. We only care about dodging conflict and keeping things comfortable for ourselves.

If i'm in a situation where i'm too affriad to speak up. which has happened a lot... I never thought it to be selfish, i'm just scared of humiliation, am i really being selfish because others don't get to hear my opinion? I don't get offended when someone else is shy and doesn't want to speak up. I can admit that in these situations i do think in a selfish way since i am only worried about myself. but considering the thoughts going through my head at the time. it's alittle hard to worry about the other people.

It's cowardly. The refusal to voice our opinion regardless of who might be offended shows our lack of courage. It reveals the ugly truth that we allow others to intimidate us into submission, and basically lead our lives for us. Proverbs 29:25 says, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." If we flee from, or dodge, the judgement of others rather than trust in the Lord's safety, we are not at all living in the way God calls us to live. Isaiah 44:9b says, "Those who [speak up for sinners] are blind; ignorant to their own shame." I believe that not speaking up against sin is no different than speaking on its behalf.

does having a lack of courage really mean we're cowards? am I really refusing to voice my opinion rather than just being too scared to because of fears due to inhibitions/chemistry imbalances in the brain/paranoid thoughts etc.. and how come i have no problem voicing my opinion when i'm drunk?

It's dumb. Offending GOD, whose judgement is far more important than that of mere humans, is a lot worse than offending a friend, a community, or an individual; especially someone you don't know, and will probably never see again. Offending God has eternal ramifications. THAT should concern us more than someone's precious little feelings getting ruffled (yours included).

Oh yes as if i'm going to believe i'm offending god. So I guess i shouldn't worry about other peoples judgement because when i do i'm offending GOD! which is much worse. that's just retarted. and how would you know that? have you met god and talked to him about it?

It's arrogant. You are a sinner. I am a sinner. Everyone is a sinner. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Bad company corrupts good morals"; avoiding contact with someone for fear of being seen with a sinner, however, is not at all what this verse is talking about. You shouldn't be afraid to be seen with someone who's "sinful lifestyle choices" you don't approve of because you're no less of a sinner than they are. Just because you sin less, doesn't mean you're sinless.

i'm not affriad to be seen with a sinner... or someone who sins more than me which i could care less about

It seems obvious that this person had no idea how it feels to have social phobia and thinks we choose to be this way and we purposely do the things we do to try to avoid judgment and whatnot.

My goal is to overcome social phobia. not to avoid all judgment and be sinless ha yea right :eek:

EDIT: does anyone else generally agree? I really think this person is missing something about it
 
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