Am I a bad person?

[Earthcircle]

I just tested myself for facial recognition capacity. I scored above average! Wow. I should be a social butterfly.

 

[Kiwong]

You think you're old. I'm 51.

 

[Earthcircle]

You think you're old. I'm 51.

I not only think I'm old, I think I am a therapeutic failure who lives with his mother out in the middle of nowhere and has no friends and no job. The best thing that ever happens to me is sleeping.

 

[Draconess25]

I not only think I'm old, I think I am a therapeutic failure who lives with his mother out in the middle of nowhere and has no friends and no job. The best thing that ever happens to me is sleeping.

I feel ya on that too. But believe me, you aren't a bad person. I think some of your therapists are.

 

[Earthcircle]

I feel ya on that too. But believe me, you aren't a bad person. I think some of your therapists are.

I'm afraid to talk about some of the stuff that happened in therapy. It's so bad, and strange, that someone in another forum -- someone claiming to be a therapist -- insisted that I was either lying or psychotic. Either way, I couldn't be telling the truth, or so he wished to imply. I had one psychotherapist who was so bad, I have actually considered writing a book about what happened. But I don't want to discuss it here.

 

[Draconess25]

I'm afraid to talk about some of the stuff that happened in therapy. It's so bad, and strange, that someone in another forum -- someone claiming to be a therapist -- insisted that I was either lying or psychotic. Either way, I couldn't be telling the truth, or so he wished to imply. I had one psychotherapist who was so bad, I have actually considered writing a book about what happened. But I don't want to discuss it here.

I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about it. They say talking is supposed to help, but sometimes I think it's better not to try digging up the landmines.

 

[andsorry]

Therapist are people too. Sometimes they have bad days. I had one that was very mean one session, I never returned. I don't know much about you so I can't say, but I don't think you're a bad person.

 

[Earthcircle]

Therapist are people too. Sometimes they have bad days. I had one that was very mean one session, I never returned. I don't know much about you so I can't say, but I don't think you're a bad person.

The fact that I am looking after my invalid mother perhaps speaks against my being a bad person. But I feel that it's killing me, at least emotionally. I allowed my career to take a huge hit by doing this, and I'm not always sure I made the right decision.

 

[Earthcircle]

I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about it. They say talking is supposed to help, but sometimes I think it's better not to try digging up the landmines.

I don't want to talk about it because I know from past experience that some people might not even believe me.

 

[andsorry]

The fact that I am looking after my invalid mother perhaps speaks against my being a bad person. But I feel that it's killing me, at least emotionally. I allowed my career to take a huge hit by doing this, and I'm not always sure I made the right decision.

no one's ever sure what the right decision is. I make mines based on feelings and sometimes it's wrong. But on the bright side you made a decision and stuck with it. can you get a home nurse for your mother?

 

[Livemylife]

I definitely think some people are bad. I label people as bad in my head all the time. From what I've read, you don't seem bad. But it's weird people have called you such harsh things as anti-Semitic, homophobic, etc. I agree people are unpredictable, but even they don't randomly call people such things. I hope you find the root of your problem. I feel "different" as well and have yet to find a label for it.

Maybe it's your mannerisms or facial expressions? I've noticed if I don't bother hiding my frown, strangers will literally get angry at me and try to start trouble. Weird huh?

You sound young because you sound really confused instead of sure and wise. I don't think older means wiser but a lot of people do.

 

[Earthcircle]

I definitely think some people are bad. I label people as bad in my head all the time. From what I've read, you don't seem bad. But it's weird people have called you such harsh things as anti-Semitic, homophobic, etc. I agree people are unpredictable, but even they don't randomly call people such things. I hope you find the root of your problem. I feel "different" as well and have yet to find a label for it.

Maybe it's your mannerisms or facial expressions? I've noticed if I don't bother hiding my frown, strangers will literally get angry at me and try to start trouble. Weird huh?

You sound young because you sound really confused instead of sure and wise. I don't think older means wiser but a lot of people do.

Someone called me antiSemitic because I criticized capitalism. I had said nothing about Jews, and wasn't even thinking about them in making the remark. The person was conservative, and it was a cheap move, obviously. I was called homophobic, because someone was directing homophobic remarks at me. Instead, of screaming at them, I tried to speak with them as positively as possible. Someone else butted in and cursed at me, calling me homophobic. This latter event was on Youtube (in a comments thread), so my facial expression couldn't have been a factor. But people have sometimes insulted me because of my facial expression; it's happened a few times. They will say "You're looking at me like you're saying ..." And then they proceed to say something completely inappropriate which, of course, I would never say, and they then proceed to act offended. I never see these things coming.

Yes, I am very confused, because I don't understand people. I've been trying for decades, and they completely elude me. That's why I'm so nervous; I never know when I will offend.

 

[Earthcircle]

no one's ever sure what the right decision is. I make mines based on feelings and sometimes it's wrong. But on the bright side you made a decision and stuck with it. can you get a home nurse for your mother?

For some reason, she doesn't want professional care in the home. But she is considering assisted living, which I would think would be a more radical change. But damage has been done to my career, no matter how she decides. And I am worried about that. Getting and keeping a job is not the easiest thing for me to do, because people tend not to like me.

 

[dandriv25]

If you're looking after your mother you are far from being a bad person. I've known people who have dumped their parents in care, sold their properties and lived a high life from the sale. You deserve credit for caring for your mother.

Don't worry about people thinking negatively of you, or getting angry with yourself for being you.

 

[Earthcircle]

If you're looking after your mother you are far from being a bad person. I've known people who have dumped their parents in care, sold their properties and lived a high life from the sale.

I may end up doing that! My career took a terrible hit when I chose to look after her, and the scenario you just described may happen in lieu of my getting a job. At my age, prospects aren't so good for me anymore.

 

[Draconess25]

Someone called me antiSemitic because I criticized capitalism. I had said nothing about Jews, and wasn't even thinking about them in making the remark. The person was conservative, and it was a cheap move, obviously. I was called homophobic, because someone was directing homophobic remarks at me. Instead, of screaming at them, I tried to speak with them as positively as possible. Someone else butted in and cursed at me, calling me homophobic. This latter event was on Youtube (in a comments thread), so my facial expression couldn't have been a factor. But people have sometimes insulted me because of my facial expression; it's happened a few times. They will say "You're looking at me like you're saying ..." And then they proceed to say something completely inappropriate which, of course, I would never say, and they then proceed to act offended. I never see these things coming.

Yes, I am very confused, because I don't understand people. I've been trying for decades, and they completely elude me. That's why I'm so nervous; I never know when I will offend.

People tend to think I'm condescending, disrespectful, or suspicious because I'm very defensive. I answer in either brief remarks or long rapid sentences, avoid eye contact, and shift around a lot. When I met my boyfriend's mom's black friend, she thought I was doing all that cause she's black. She didn't directly state it, and we get along great (when I actually come out of my boyfriend's room), but what she said certainly implied that she thought I was racist. I also get accused of stealing a lot.

 

[Earthcircle]

People tend to think I'm condescending, disrespectful, or suspicious because I'm very defensive. I answer in either brief remarks or long rapid sentences, avoid eye contact, and shift around a lot. When I met my boyfriend's mom's black friend, she thought I was doing all that cause she's black. She didn't directly state it, and we get along great (when I actually come out of my boyfriend's room), but what she said certainly implied that she thought I was racist. I also get accused of stealing a lot.

OMG, I've also been falsely accused of stealing. I guess I just come across as a shifty character. I hate life.

 

[Odo]

Someone called me antiSemitic because I criticized capitalism. I had said nothing about Jews, and wasn't even thinking about them in making the remark. The person was conservative, and it was a cheap move, obviously. I was called homophobic, because someone was directing homophobic remarks at me. Instead, of screaming at them, I tried to speak with them as positively as possible. Someone else butted in and cursed at me, calling me homophobic. This latter event was on Youtube (in a comments thread), so my facial expression couldn't have been a factor. But people have sometimes insulted me because of my facial expression; it's happened a few times. They will say "You're looking at me like you're saying ..." And then they proceed to say something completely inappropriate which, of course, I would never say, and they then proceed to act offended. I never see these things coming.

Yes, I am very confused, because I don't understand people. I've been trying for decades, and they completely elude me. That's why I'm so nervous; I never know when I will offend.

Youtube is notoriously full of ****s, idiots and trolls... it's not the only site on the net that is like that so when you're visiting those sites you need to bear in mind that sometimes cruelty and stupidity is the point.

I have been reading your posts and I've noticed you're very well spoken and seem to be a big reader... I think that this can intimidate people, and some people feel the need to lash out when they're made to feel inadequate, whether you intended to or not. The rise of narcissism as a widespread thing means that people are probably more likely to attack you for making them feel a certain way/wounding their egos instead of admitting that they don't understand/are ignorant of something.

I can't say what it is about you that is putting people off but I doubt it's because you're a bad person... but I do think that some people do have faces that suggest certain moods, dispositions, etc... and it can be hard for people to get over that.

 

[Draconess25]

OMG, I've also been falsely accused of stealing. I guess I just come across as a shifty character. I hate life.

So do I....Everyone who knows me knows how much I'm against lying and stealing! Only time I lie is when telling the truth would someone, and I would only steal if I was looting places during the apocalypse, and I'd only take important stuff like food. NOT TVs. -.-

 

[Earthcircle]

I have been reading your posts and I've noticed you're very well spoken and seem to be a big reader... I think that this can intimidate people, and some people feel the need to lash out when they're made to feel inadequate, whether you intended to or not.

But many of the people whom I have offended are highly educated. I'm skeptical that I make them feel inferior.