afraid of making this phone call

[Falkor]

Hi,

I´m about to get called on my phone, in 15 minutes.
and i´m feeling anxiety, I´m afraid i´ll mess it up.
I really like the other person, i know her from the chat.
And i want to give a good impression.
I feel like I will get quiet, and don´t know anything to say.

We were about to date this weekend, but she canceled it, because she was too anxious (it happened more times...) We did not see eachother in real life yet,
But we are both dealing with the same things, like being afraid of making phone calls, dating eachother. And I didn't cancel the dates, she did.
And now we are about to call eachother, and I'm freaking nervous.
While at the same time i'd love to call with her.

How can I stop being so nervous about the phone call, and how can I be relaxed?, I'm so afraid of making a worse impression... While she likes me the way I am.
But I'm still afraid of messing it up!!! While I want to be totally relaxed and cheer her up!
And what are some good topics to talk about over the phone.. ?? i already wrote some things down to ask her...
but this is huge for me, when someone calls me, i sometimes just dont pick up the phone :S
but at the same time i want to be social!!! i love to be social!!
gosh..

XX Flowergirlie

 

[fife_girl]

im sure she feels the exact same, try not to stress too much, i hardly ever spoke to my ex gf on the phone even tho i wanted too...
its good u have similar problems so u can understand each other better

good luck

 

[Falkor]

im sure she feels the exact same, try not to stress too much, i hardly ever spoke to my ex gf on the phone even tho i wanted too...
its good u have similar problems so u can understand each other better

good luck

thank you very much, i will try my best to just be relaxed....
I will try to keep a good conversation, yes it's very nice that we have the same things, so we can understand eachother And we feel the same about that,
so we can share that together. Maybe it even makes the connection stronger
She will call in a few min... =) i feel less nervous, but still a bit haha XD

 

[fife_girl]

the girls i usually go for are over confident n just cant understand me...very frustrating lol.
i think it will make u 2 have a stronger connection
i know id rather meet a girl with similar problems to me!
youll probably relax when u start chatting away

 

[worrywort]

just take a deep breathe and you'll do fine! ....and remember it's our imperfections that are often the most beautiful things about us, so don't be afraid to stutter and let your flaws come out.

 

[Feathers]

Hi Flowergirlie! I am sometimes afraid to make or take phone calls too..
Just focus on how relaxed you'll be afterwards.. You are being brave and proactive, and that's all that matters! If this turns out as wonderful friendship or more, you'll see..

If you don't know what to say, maybe she will say something, or ask her an open-ended question ('What...?' not something she can answer with yes or no), talk about stuff you both like or are interested in (if you know her a bit) or ask her to find out what she likes and then talk about what you both like..

If you really don't know what to say, and neither does she, then maybe just say you gotta go now, that things are a bit busy and if it's okay to talk later? (It's around lunchtime here so maybe that can be your excuse? )

Tell us, how did it go?

 

[kihira]

Get somewhere comfy, quiet, warm with no visual distractions. Breath deeply. Have ideas written down, as you have. Have a pen and paper for doodling. Accept that quiet periods are ok. Smile as you talk. Ask questions to keep the conversation going. Let the moment take over.

 

[Falkor]

Thank you all !! She called me, my heart was beating out of my chest !!
I picked up the phone said ''Hey it's saskia!'' she said, ''hey it's...., i'm sorry but i'm soooo nervous'' i thought GOSH!!! So i asked her, ''how are you doing now, are you feeling a bit better? (because she didnt feel well) she told me shes doing better now, so im happy i started a conversation, we talked about a few things... so im glad there were no awkward silences!
but i just wish im better at socializing, then i could just go with the flow..
But she texted me afterwards that she likes my voice! and she texted me that she found it really exciting but fun at the same time!!
i told her we should do it more, to get used to eachother!
I should make phone calls more... this weekend my best friend called, I feel good that i finally make more phone calls!!!

 

[Falkor]

Get somewhere comfy, quiet, warm with no visual distractions. Breath deeply. Have ideas written down, as you have. Have a pen and paper for doodling. Accept that quiet periods are ok. Smile as you talk. Ask questions to keep the conversation going. Let the moment take over.

I was sitting in a comfy chair, alone in my room, so that's a good place for me
that's good advice I don't like making phone calls in public,
i guess almost every social phobic doesnt like to do that.. right?

 

[fife_girl]

yey!!
well done
do you live near each other?

 

[Falkor]

yey!!
well done
do you live near each other?

No, she lives 3 hours away , but we have a really close connection between eachother!! and we like eachother (i'm gay too!), so i hope we can meet eachother some day!! but we both are really nervous!!!! lol!!!
we should practice first, with making phone calls, video chatting or something like that... =]

 

[IGotSeoul]

this is all very heartwarming and I can't help but smile.

congratulations to you!

 

[fife_girl]

my ex went on webcam n i was like nooooooo im keeping mine off lol, n that was after a month or 2 being together. if you practice with that youll be more confident to meet in person if it goes that way